Pablo’s got some photos of what my First Sergeant calls “possible” new Service Dress Uniforms for our United States Air Force.

First of all, everyone knows that our dress uniforms make us look like businessmen with a miltary fetish or airline pilots, or bus drivers, depending on how you look at them. We need a new service dress uniform. They simply suck. They suck large. I cannot express the sucktitude that the USAF Service Dress Uniform exudes. Ask any Air Force member and they’ll tell you, they’d rather get their medal or their promotion in their BDUs or flight suits.

When it comes to the “possible” uniforms I’m thinking that we’re going in the wrong direction. I like the darker idea, but I’m a fan of David Weber’s Honor Harrington series, so I’m a bit biased there. With space becoming even more of the Air Force’s mission, we need to start acknowledging that in our uniforms.

The belt around the waist OVER the jacket and the high collar? No. Nix. Nein. Uh-uh. The fact that the silhouette of the “possible” uniforms resembles something out of WWII (and not the folks on OUR side of that conflict) bothers me from an image point of view. It’s too Nazi. It’s too Imperial Storm Trooper. Our civilian leaders keep insisting that we don’t have imperialistic intentions around the world and I’m of the mind that our military shouldn’t resemble Nazis or the most vile and evil villains from one of the most popular movie series in our liftime in any way, shape, or form.

Now…why do I put quotation marks around the word “possible?” Because if these photos are being circulated through the ranks, it means that the powers that be have pretty much decided that these are our choices and are trying to get a feel for our reaction to them.

Here’s mine: I’m thinking darker blue-black vs the straight black because I don’t think America is ready for its military to be in black. Space notwithstanding, black uniforms just have negative connotations historically and culturally. Lose the high collar and the belt. Besides the Imperial overtones, the belt will wear out long before the coat will and you KNOW if you try to replace just the belt, the shades simply won’t match and you’re going to have to buy the whole freaking jacket just because the belt wears out or you’re going to have to clean the belt multiple times until it matches. Making it a leather belt would just increase the Nazi/Imperial creep-out factor, don’t go there.

The high collar? It’s been done. It’s old. Only Marines look cool with them. I don’t know why.

Update: Andy over at Non Partisan Pundit has word that the “Hap Arnold” (open collar) will be the choice for our next go-round of sucktitude with the “Billy Mitchell” (Star Trek Collar) as our Dress Mess. Figures, the Dress Mess is the only Af Dress Uniform that’s never looked like crap.