Why do I get spam in other languages? You know, most folks in other parts of the world have figured out that we simply aren’t all that multi-lingual. Do Media and Advertising Execs not talk to most folks? Wait, I forgot, we’re talking about people that keep making the creepy Burger King commercials. And while I’m thinking about it, anyone know where I can get a hold of that song they play on the Ford Commercials? Not the one with Taylor, the other ones, “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s jump right in…come on baby let’s riiiiiiide.” That song gets stuck in my head faster than “It’s a Small World” without causing convulsions.

Basic Communication. In every speech class, acting class, briefing class I’ve ever had, the basics are the same. There’s the sender, the message, and the receiver. How the message is presented is a pretty big part of what decides how the receiver is going to accept it. Call me weird, but I’m thinking that sending a message that could be understood might just possibly be more desirable than say, oh, I don’t know, a message in Arabic, Chinese, Russian, or Hebrew. Spanish I kind of understand in a “If I don’t overthink it, I’ve got it.” kind of way, and let’s face it, at the current rate of “open immigration” we may as well get used to the fact that we’re going to be Mexico in another decade or five, it’s time to yo hablo. But I digress.

Spammers, do me and yourselves a favor; If you’re going to send me crap about ways to enlarge my penis, enlarge my vacation, enlarge my record collection, enlarge my choices in my medicine chest, or enlarge my breasts, please do it in English. It makes me just a little crazy to mass delete stuff I don’t understand. Perhaps there’s something there that’s different. Something I might actually want to buy. Say, a reasonably priced dog run or cat trails for the walls of my home that don’t require a freaking building permit.