03. April 2006 · Comments Off on Bordertown · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, General, Home Front, Pajama Game

It’s part of the tourist attraction to San Antonio, besides the Riverwalk and the Alamo. Even though this part of South Texas is still a good few hours drive from the actual physical border between Mexico and the United States, the River City is still closer to it than most of the rest of the continental states. It falls well within that ambiguous and fluid zone where people on both sides of it have shifted back and forth so many times that it would be hard to pin down a consistent attitude about it all. This is a place where a fourth or fifth-generation descendent of German Hill-Country immigrants may speak perfectly colloquial Spanish and collect Diego Riviera paintings…. And the grandson of a semi-literate Mexican handyman who came here in the early 1920ies looking for a bit of a break from the unrest south of the border, may have a doctoral degree and a fine series of fine academic initials after his name. And the fact that the original settlers were from the Canary Islands, and all non-Hispanic whites are usually referred to as “Anglos”, no matter what their ethnic origin might be, just adds a certain surreality to the whole place.

San Antonio is in fact, about half Hispanic: surnames like Garcia, Martinez. and Gonzales with an s or Gonzalez with a z being so common they fade into ordinariness. In this bordertown, Garcia and Gonzalez are your next-door neighbors, or your co-workers, everyone knows what a quincianera is, and loves breakfast tacos, and faijitas, and believes with the faith of holy writ that the hotter the salsa is, the better, and knows a smattering of Spanish. Quite often, in fact, it’s the kids named Garcia or Martinez who have to learn it as a second language in high school… just another surreality of life in a city where at least one place on every block of every main avenue serves up takeaway breakfast tacos… and some of them feature drive up service.

The cross-border flow is neither one-way or steerage class, either. Mexican and American shoppers and entrepreneurs criss-cross every day… it’s pharmacy visits and surgical care in both directions, bargains on clothes and garden pottery, and high-end gadgets. North Star Mall, close by the airport has been for years a shopping destination for wealthy Mexicans. During Santa Semana, the Holy Week between Palm Sunday and Easter, you could walk the main floor from one end to the other, and not overhear a word of English in conversation among the throngs. The wealthy Mexicans who come and go sometimes mesh uncomfortably with the local middle and working class Hispanics; the mother of a friend of mine grumbled about how they were so rude, and left the sales tables in such a mess, and left rejected clothes crumpled all over the floor in the dressing rooms at Talbots. Local people most always made a stab at putting them back on the hanger, instead of assuming that someone would come along and straighten out the mess after they were quite finished.

There was a small protest, this week, by mostly high school students— just old enough to be aware of of the problem, but not old enough to grasp the very real ambiguities. We are all immigrants, one way or another: many of us can name the ancestor, and the country he or she came from, and make some intelligent guesses as to why they climbed out of the ancestral rut and lit out for the new territories, the new world, the frontier, the north . Most of us suspect that those ancestors improved their lot; if not immediately for themselves, then for their descendents. I know that my own immigrant grandparents certainly found much nicer weather and better plumbing than what they variously left behind in Three Mile Town, Reading and the Merseyside, and I can’t grudge some dirt-farmer or shade tree mechanic in Jalisco having a chance at something a little better in their turn. I can’t, I really can’t. What a country this must be, when they are willing to risk their lives in the desert, or in the packed back of an 18-wheeler after paying money to a coyote–a people-smuggler— all for a chance to work in the fields, or packing plant or stapling asphalt tile in the hot sun of late afternoon in a Texas summer… and how crappy is the situation they are leaving. Even if all they want is a couple of seasons to work in the North, and send money back home, why do they have to come north in the first place?

What is with Mexico, that they must bleed off their most ambitious and hardworking, but frustrated citizens to the North, that part with paved roads and factories? Why is there nothing for them, back where they came from in some dirt scrabble- village? Why do the “activists” at Aztlan demand that the Southwest be turned back to Mexico, when it was Mexico setting the conditions that made their parents or grandparents head north in the first place?

Tejanos, Chicanos, Mexican-Americans, citizens of the borderlands, call them whatever; they have pulled their weight always: a good proportion of the Alamo defenders were actually native Tejanos, and Juan Seguin might have been their commander, instead of William Travis. (It was an item of crushing historical stupidity and Anglo arrogance that the Alamo Tejanos and Seguin were never given proper credit and attention during their 19th century lifetimes.) They enlist in large numbers generation after generation; machismo is untrammeled, and makes for a large proportion of soldiers who are admiringly described as “crazy-brave”. Citations for battlefield heroism run well above the norm for other ethnicities. Mexico ought to be a military powerhouse, with all that raw soldiering talent, but somehow, that never works out. They did beat the French once, but then hasn’t everyone? The Garcias and the Gonzalezs come north, as they always have; the suspicion on this side of it, is that the Border is Mexico’s safety valve, bleeding off the potentially politically restless and/or economically ambitious.

And the fear has become, this, this year along the borderlands, and in other places, is that the situation is out of hand. Ranch owners along the border, who had heretofore dealt with the illegal transients by sympathetically looking the other way, are fed to the teeth with aggressive trespass, with gates being left open, taps left running and fences cut, with not being able to go about their properties after dark without being armed. Law enforcement along the border are similarly fed to the teeth with well-armed gangs operating across the border, apparently with the connivance of Mexican authorities, whether authorized officially or not, with finding dying border crossers in the back of trucks, and alone, dead of thirst and exposure in the desert. Hospitals in border towns are being driven close to bankruptcy by medical care which they must give to the illegal, and for which they are not reimbursed. And legal immigrants everywhere, who have gone through the hassle and expense of doing the proper paperwork, and waiting patiently in line, are apoplectic at seeing that not playing by established rules may be rewarded.

And so, that is where people of good intent are stranded. De Nile is the river that runs through Egypt… but Ambivalence is the other name of the river that runs through the Borderlands.

03. April 2006 · Comments Off on C-5 Crashes at Dover AFB · Categories: Air Force, Domestic, General

News Article

DOVER, Del. – A C-5 cargo plane carrying 17 people crashed just short of a runway at Dover Air Force Base early Monday after developing problems during takeoff, military officials said. There was no immediate word on fatalities.

The plane, the military’s largest, went down about 6:30 a.m., according to Tech Sgt. Melissa Phillips, a spokeswoman for the base.

Allen Metheny, assistant director in the state Department of Public Safety, said some people aboard the plane were taken to hospitals with injuries, but he did not have numbers or details. BayHealth in Dover said the hospital received about 10 people from the crash, including some who appeared able to walk, spokeswoman Pam Marecki said.

29. March 2006 · Comments Off on Globalization of Taste · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, General, Pajama Game, World

Sgt/Cpl. Blondie stumbled across evidence of this, at a local chain grocery—the one I always call the Humongous Big-Ass Grocery. It is truly one of the glories of living in Texas, a local chain which has run practically every other big grocery chain out of town with a combination of unparalleled customer service, quite good prices on their house brands, and an unimaginable variety of fine grocery items for the discriminating foodie. I firmly believe that the Iron Curtain would have slipped off its’ rod and collapsed even sooner if selected members of the Politburo could have been given guided tours of the average HEB store… the sheer lavish glories of American grocery stores are legend, and HEB does that all one or two steps better. They pay really close attention to their local market. I have a theory that you can calculate the average per capita income in a neighborhood (before taxes) by counting up how many varieties of olive oil are on the shelves at the local HEB… so many varieties X so many $ thousands in income, and there you have it. I haven’t worked out the exact figures yet (I’m only an English major, you know!!!!), but the greater the variety of olio d’ olive, the higher the income. The HEB nearest Lackland AFB, I’ll have you know, had only 2, and one of them was that nasty yellow Pompeii brand drek, which was all that was on the major grocery markets for decades, before anyone acquired any taste in the matter at all.

Olive oil— it’s a small thing, but something I noticed, because of being in Greece, where it was the font of all civilization (according to legend), and then in Spain where Alcampo, the Spanish equivalent to Walmart, with every imaginable item under one roof, and at next to wholesale prices, offered an entire aisle of olive oil, of every quantity and quality.
I came home from Spain with six 1.5 liter bottles of a good and faintly greenish brand of the stuff, which lasted me for barely a year.
That’s the trouble with being stationed overseas a lot; eventually you sample the local stuff- something that is a local taste, and hardly ever exported, and when you come home, you are bereft… sometimes. A year or so after I came home from Japan, my friend Marsh (She of the marvelous engine-mount challenged car) were overjoyed to discover a small Japanese-American eatery that offered… Katsudon!

Katsudon; a dish all the more luscious because it is very good, and filling and cheap, and most marvelous of all— available everywhere. (And when you said it, the waiter/waitress understood it!) It was the hamburger, or the meatloaf of Japan, a bowl of rice topped with a breaded and friend pork cutlet, and a savory glob of poached egg and onion, all the juices seeping down to flavor the rice with sweet liquor. You could go— or so said the Japanese lady who taught the “Intro to Japan 1A— into any casual eatery in Japan, and ask for “katsudon” and get some variant of it. There is of late in one of my cooking magazines, a recipe for such, which shows how adventurous the foodie population may have become— two decades ago, practically no one who hadn’t done a tour in Japan had ever heard of it at all. People who have served overseas have heaps of examples— lovely and particularly local foods which they became addicted to, and could never find again, or if they could, at great expense, once they came “home”.

Which gets me back, however circuitously to HEB, and food items from Japan. Blondie found an import item at a local HEB store, and fell on it joyfully; a particular brand of Japanese soda. It came in very distinctive blue-green glass bottles, sealed with a blue-green glass marble in the neck of it. A bulge in the neck, and a pinch molded into the glass on one side kept the bottle from rolling back into the top opening if you drank it holding the bottle in a certain way. Vendors kept a particular punch at their stand, to open it by pushing the marble back into the neck— where it had otherwise made a tight seal against force of carbonation. The soda was otherwise fairly indistinguishable from ginger ale, or some other clear, mildly sweet and carbonated drink… but still. Neither of us expected to see it on the market here, but whattaya know. Here it is.
Street Fair 1977
This pic of me (center) and two other girls from the barracks (Sorry, I can’t recall their names!) was taken during a local festival, about 1977, when all the traffic on Misawa’s main street was cut off, and it was decorated with lanterns and banners, and stalls. All of us have a bottle of this particular soda in hand.

29. March 2006 · Comments Off on pet blogging · Categories: Domestic, General Nonsense

well I think every one has shown their pets at one time or another, so I thought it should be my turn

Sammy 060329

Isn’t he just precious.

29. March 2006 · Comments Off on Oh No They Didn’t · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic

Whittier area students from Pioneer, California and Whittier high schools walked out of classes to protest the proposed federal immigration bill March 27, 2006. The protestors put up the Mexican flag over the American flag flying upside down at Montebello High. (Leo Jarzomb/Staff photo)

Stolen from Malkin.

Ya know, up until this past week I’ve been pretty much for some sort of immigration reform that allows some way for illegal immigrants, especially from Mexico, to become legal citizens with some sort of ease. After seeing the shenanigans going on at the protests and especially after this incident, I’m starting to side with the folks who want to round ’em all up and shove ’em back across the border. Apparently these folks don’t want to become Americans, they’re trying to re-fight a war they lost over a century ago.

28. March 2006 · Comments Off on Things that make you go hmmm…. · Categories: A Href, Ain't That America?, Domestic, General

Baldilocks points us to a UPI story about one of former president Bill Clinton’s chauffeurs.

Seems that while 3 cars were waiting for Clinton to arrive at Newark Airport, a Port Authority cop checked their license plate numbers. Turns out one car belonged to a Pakistani native who was a wanted man. He skipped out on his residency hearing six years ago, and has a deportation order against him.

Hmmmm…….

25. March 2006 · Comments Off on I, Personally…. · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, General, General Nonsense

…welcome our puppycat overlords.

One of the comments noted: “Feh. Call me when they make a dog that acts like a cat.”

Consider yourself called, sir. I have a dog that seems to think it is a cat; the Lesser Weevil spends a lot of time sucking up to the cats, attempting to get the cats to play with her, trying to curl her 50lb body up on the same surfaces and perch on the same spaces that the cats occupy, and spending most of the day sleeping and snoring/purring.

I can’t get her to use the damned litterbox, though. Pity

21. March 2006 · Comments Off on Sooo…. · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, General

I’ve been off-line since Sunday midnight, when a thunderstorm rolling through fried my Time-Warner provided modem. We have been waiting all day (and growing steadily more discontented with the service provided) awaiting the arrival of a skilled tech, with a replacement modem… who was cheerful, apologetic and competant, when at last he finally arrived.
I had sworn an oath in blood to find another internet and TV service provider, if we were not back on line by 9 PM tonight. Thanks to Orlando, I do not have to deliver on that threat. This time, at least

So, I’m back… did I miss anything?

19. March 2006 · Comments Off on Square Hole In the Ground: Progress Report #1 · Categories: Domestic, General, Working In A Salt Mine...

About 1/4th of house painted— that portion of it at the front, and along the side to the front door; sort of a yellow orangish color, to match the bricks. Neigbors agree, color good match for bricks. Excellent contrast with garage door, sort of a pale green, about the color of surgical greens. Blondie pointed out that it looks quite terribly 70ies. (Deep sigh… she has a point, but I think it looks more like a pastel Easter egg. )

Needs a bit of touching up, as some of it was painted in a hurry. It was supposed to rain today, so we worked on the bits that were under an overhang, and prayed that whatever rain came down would not be blowing slantways.

Installed new porch light. Installed wires along garage wall to tie the climbing roses to; looks very nice, very Italianate, with rambler foliage and deep red roses against the painted wall. Scoured drips of paint off sidewalk and entry-way bricks. Gathered up trash, sealed paint pans and rollers in plastic bags, returned borrowed drill to Judy. Worked on excuse as to why I have not yet bought one of my own.

Completly exhausted; blogging will be light.

G’night.

18. March 2006 · Comments Off on And You Thought National ID Cards Were An Assult On Our Rights… · Categories: Domestic, General

…Just wait until you check your mailbox and find the Census Bureau’s new American Community Survey. Phyllis Schlafly is rightly appalled:

Our inquisitive federal government has been demanding that selected U.S. residents answer 73 nosy questions. They are threatened with a fine of $5,000 for failure to respond.

[…]

Beginning only in 1960, the ten-year census-taking significantly changed. The government began sending a long form with many questions to a limited number of persons, randomly selected, and a short form with only six questions to all other U.S. residents.

The government is now jumping the gun on the 2010 census, and without public announcement is already sending out an extremely long form, starting with a few thousand mailings each month to a handful of residents in widely scattered small towns that don’t generate national media. Recipients can’t find neighbors who received the same mailing, so it’s difficult to avoid the impression that the project was planned to avoid publicity and citizen opposition.

[…]

The survey asks how much you pay each month for electricity, gas, water, rent, real estate taxes, fire or flood insurance, plus six very specific questions about your first and second monthly mortgage payments. There are questions about your telephone and automobile, and about how many months of the year you and others occupy the residence.

The survey then gets really personal, demanding the answers to 42 questions about you and about every other person who resides in your household. Person 1 is used like a private investigator to extract the information from everybody else, and warned that if anyone doesn’t want to answer your nosy questions, you must provide the name and telephone number of such person so Big Brother can follow up.

The information demanded for you and every other person includes very specific questions about what kind of school you and each other one attended and to what grade level, what is each person’s “ancestry or ethnic origin” (no matter if your ancestors came here hundreds of years ago), what language you speak at home, how well you speak English, where you lived one year ago, what are specific physical, mental or emotional health conditions, and whether you have given birth during the past year.

More questions demand that you tell the government exactly where you are employed, what transportation you use to get to work, how many people ride in the vehicle with you, how many minutes it takes you to get to work, whether you have been laid off or absent from your job or business, how many weeks you worked during the last year, what kind of a job you have (for-profit company, not-for-profit company, government, self-employed), what kind of business it is, exactly what kind of work you did, what was your last year’s wage or salary, and what was your other income from any other source.

The Census Bureau warns: “We may combine your answers with information that you gave to other agencies.” (Does that mean IRS? Social Security? New Hires Directory? Child support enforcement? Criminal databases? Commercial databases?)

But this is not exactly news, the Census Bureau has been doing these things for years. As Schlafly said, it started as a very limited thing way back in 1960. Since then, it has been growing steadily more intrusive, more frequent, and imposing upon more of our population. This is another example of bureaucrats with way too much time on their hands. The Constitution calls for a census every ten years. Assuming the Census Bureau even has the authority to ask anything more than the number of people in a home, and their ages (and perhaps their sex, and their status as slaves or freemen 🙂 ), what gives them the right to go snooping around on this time frame?

They are discussing this right now on C-SPAN’s Washington Journal. There aren’t quite as many idiots calling in as usual, but there are some. The moonbat barking most loudly proclaimed “the government needs this information to protect us.” Yeah, perhaps – in the same way a mother protects her infant child! Several others have said the government needs this information to better craft social programs – social programs it has no place engaging in in the first place.

The wisest caller said this: “When a questionnaire comes, throw it in the trash, and deny you ever received it.” I’ll go further than that: If they persist, and say, send someone to your home, you first stall and reschedule as many times as you can get away with – even to the point of, when a surveyor comes to your door, saying “oh, I’m sorry, something just came up…” Once you’ve reached the end of that line, use the “I can’t seem to recall” ploy; make it as difficult for them to gather their precious data as possible. For instance, I really “can’t seem to recall” what sort of fuel heats our home. I know it’s not coal or wood, because I just twist the thermostat, and it starts getting warm, so it must be either propane, butane, natural gas, electric or steam. Similarly, from their 2005 questionnaire instruction guide (15 page PDF), when my sister comes to visit, she sleeps on the patio. (Living in the Inland Empire, she likes the coastal night air.) And we don’t use it for much else, so it must be a bedroom. But a similar argument can be made for that big room between my bedroom and the front door, so this apartment must have four bedrooms. Ah, the opportunities for monkeywrenching both pique and delight the imagination! 🙂

16. March 2006 · Comments Off on A Square Hole In the Ground… · Categories: Domestic, General, Pajama Game, Working In A Salt Mine...

…Into which you throw money— and that is a house, or so sayeth Dave Barry, who adapted the saying (or so I believe) from a famous witticism about yachts. There is something about owning your own private patch of paradise, it satisfies some deep and atavistic impulse, even though that private patch may be quite modest, not the stuff of which “House Beautiful” or “Country Life” photo features are made. A couple of Christmases ago, the staff Christmas party for my weekend job was at one of those houses that could, in fact, feature very nicely in one of those magazines. (I work at a public radio outlet on weekends. It’s single weekend shift, just to keep my hand in. The pay is a couple of bucks more an hour than minimum wage, and a couple of bucks less than the hourly rate for my Mon-Fri job.) The house was one of those lavish, sprawling jobs, on a hilltop north of town, with a spectacular view, a terrace and a pool, landscaped and manicured, marble kitchen countertops and tile floors, every top-o-the-line appliance, furniture, fitting and convenience. Fifty or so circulating guests barely filled up the adjoining sitting room, dining room and kitchen.

It was a lovely house, or what I saw of it was, at least. The owners lived in it alone, and their grown children and their grandchildren visited often, but I thought about how empty the place would seem with just the two of them in it, rattling around like two peas in a huge, empty gourd and the very thought gave me the heeby-jeebies. I’d been informed for years by all sorts of TV shows and home interior-decorating porn that I should want a house just like it, but I was ever so glad to get back to my cozy little book-lined living room, with it’s blue-striped curtains and blue and white pottery, and a cat asleep on practically every soft and horizontal surface. At least, if some perv were trying to break in, I should know it right away. I wouldn’t have to hike an 8th of a mile to the other end of the mansion to find out for sure. I didn’t envy the owners of that house in the least, in spite of every inducement from the surrounding culture to do so. It was a very nice house, a lovely house, with a splendid view, and I was everlastingly grateful that I was not the one expected to live in it. One woman’s dream-house is the next woman’s nightmare-house. As my mother so cogently observed, the larger it is, the more time it takes to clean.

It’s not like I was immune to the dream house— I built scale model houses and 1/12th scale interiors for years, and carted a collection of 1/12th scale furniture and accessories around the world for most of my time in the Air Force. This was always a marvel to my friends: tiny chairs and desks, printed wallpaper with the tiniest patterns, terra cotta floor tiles the size of a thumbnail, and copper pots, and wine glasses and all. The best of my miniature stuff is housed in a dollhouse built to look like a log cabin—the logs crafted out of a wooden crate I picked out of a neighbor’s trash when I lived in San Lamberto, outside Zaragoza AB. I spent hours at the workbench in whatever work area, in whatever house I lived in, making tiny furniture, fitting kitchen cabinets and flooring into scale interiors, gluing slips of shingles to the roof, and creating plates of realistic food (sometimes on the slips of plastic from the insides of soda bottles, which— in the miniature world, looked exactly like paper plates) out of fimo plastic clay, rosin and various clear or tintable latex media.

But all this hobby building went by the wayside when I had a real house to play with, a house of my own, which I could paint whatever color I liked, and replace full-size fixtures and fittings as the mood and my pocketbook allowed me. I have barely touched my miniature things, and haven’t built another 12th scale environment since I had a full-sized place of my own to play with. I wonder now, how much of that nesting impulse was just diverted to the miniature scale as an outlet, a portable outlet, one that I did not have to leave behind whenever the Air Force moved me on. Perhaps a lot of my disinclination to pack up and move on, yet again, as I was coming on to 20 years TAFMS, was due to the fact that I had a house of my own, a place where I had planted a garden and begin to fit out the place to suit myself, secure in the knowledge that I owned it, that whatever in the world came about, I could paint it whatever color I wished.

And over the next couple of weeks, Blondie and I are doing the outside: a sort of dusty peach color for the walls, with off-white trim, something that will match the color of the bricks. All the most successful color schemes in the neighborhood were those chosen by people who took a care for the color of the bricks. The garage door and the front and garage door will be a contrast, a pale mint-green. We’ll be doing the trim and the garage door this weekend, and the body of the house next… it really is not much a change from doing a miniature house; just that the stock and supplies are very much bigger, and the tools are heavier.

09. March 2006 · Comments Off on Paved Paradise… · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, General, Pajama Game

… and put up a parking lot. Well, not exactly that, so far. Half of the green belt, in the back of my house is doomed. The first harbinger came months ago, in a notice about a change in zoning, affecting those homeowners who lived within a certain distance of an area where the city was proposing to change the situation to favor the establishment of… well, housing. Neither Judy, or I, or any of the other immediate neighbors could fathom what sort of housing was meant; small, free-standing cottages like our own? McMansions, with back bedroom windows that would command an intimate view of our backyards, and cut off our view to the sunset over the trees and grass, and the great marble faced Celtic cross put up at great expense by the congregation of St. Helena’s, the Catholic parish that owns the green belt behind all of our houses? Or some sort of apartment complex that would house an inordinate number of the rude, crude, low-rent and barely housebroken? Of such horrible possibilities are the stuff of suburban nightmares made. None of us are all that high-rent ourselves, but we do like our peace, and quiet, and a change in the status quo and view of the sunset over the greenbelt is not welcomed.

The presence of the greenbelt is precisely the reason I settled on this house, out of all those properties the realtor showed me, more than a decade ago; it was the smallest of the lot, about the most expensive, but the best-built… and that, over the fence at the back of the tiny house and tiny yard was nothing but green and open space. It made the place seem larger, oddly secluded, and very, very quiet. The greenbelt went all the way between the major cross-streets, with St. Helena’s floating in the middle of it like some great stone ship, the rest of it all empty and windswept. But it has all been nibbled away at the north, with short streets of development coming down to just short of the parish holdings, and now the southern part of it absorbed in one fell swoop; there is a fence across, just below Judy’s house, and everything to the south has been scraped, leveled, graded, terraformed and staked; I suppose to mark the eventual streets and house plots. The machinery of development has been hard at work during every working day for the last month; were I not at work during the day, the noise would drive me to distraction… that and the dust.

The dust blows in whenever the wind picks up— a fine, gritty grey coating on the floor and kitchen countertops. If I weren’t holding on to those precious weeks of cool evening temperatures, and low electrical bills, I would say the heck with that, close all the windows and run the AC; but the wisteria and the jasmine are blooming, the nights are cool— these are the days that I live for, all during the furnace-blasting heat in summer. I can’t possibly give it up. I just bought a formerly-expensive wind-chime (at a chain that provides up-scale goods at dollar-store markdowns) and I love to hear it at night, when the breeze picks up, and smell the jasmine, and hear the birds in the morning.

But the new houses are coming… not near to me, but close enough that I will have to see them when I look out at night, close enough to think about encouraging the hedge plants against the back fence to grow tall, and leafy enough that I don’t have to see them. The Lesser Weevil has trashed a lot of the back yard, after the December frost got to it first, but Blondie and I put up an electric fence to keep her out of the borders, and the construction company (from those nice people who did the roof last year) came today to pressure-wash the whole place, and tomorrow they will do some small repairs to the siding and trim, and over the next two weeks, Blondie and I and maybe Judy, and some of our friends, will repaint the house exterior. (Peach colored, with white and sage-green trim, for anyone who cares to know about fine details like that.) I have it in mind to Weevil-proof the back yard by fencing off a small part of it just for her, and doing the space that was formerly a patch of lawn in gravel and limestone pavers… with maybe a small water-feature in the middle—something modest, to trickle a small steam of water into a pool, in the middle of a collection of jewel-toned pottery planters full of herbs and lemon tree-shrubs… a private paradise.

Something dog-proof, anyway. It is shaping up to be a long, and hot, and dry summer, so making it xerioscape would be even better.

08. March 2006 · Comments Off on Behold the Power….. · Categories: Domestic, General, Technology

….of this fully operational internet!!!

The VEV is back, after a fender-bender in January which smashed the headlights, side lights and the front grille, but left everything else untouched. But thanks to a very effective auto-parts search engine, and an enthusiast in West Virginia with a deep and abiding affection for the early Volvo sedans, the neccessary parts were located in three days at a moderate price. (All thanks to Dan, Dan the Volvo Man! Mwah!!!) (It just took a month and a half for the insurance to pay, me to pay, the parts to be shipped, and the garage to install. Nothing is perfect.)
“So, the 1975 Volvo is on the road again?” asked my insurance agent.
“Yes– so tell everyone to get the hell out of my way!” I said.
It’s nice to have it back again… but I keep hanging back from vehicles in front of me, and eying the back ends of large trucks with absolute loathing.

26. February 2006 · Comments Off on No Actually… · Categories: Domestic

I don’t feel any better about finding out that British companies are currently running our ports. I kind of like the idea that an American company would run American ports.

I know, it’s so 1970s of me, but that’s how I feel.

24. February 2006 · Comments Off on Tales of the Lesser Weevil: The Over-large Cat-Dog · Categories: Domestic, General, Pajama Game

So, OK, the Lesser Weevil has been in my increasingly battered, chewed and pee-bedewed household for… oh, my, has it been two months now? How the time flies when you are having fun. Other casualties include a couple of rosebushes, most of the border planting, the space where a small lawn used to be (I have kissed off any possibility of there ever being one there again and resigned myself to paving it all with limestone flagstones and gravel), my gardening hat, a long length of garden hose, three window screens, and the sliding screen door to the back porch, and other stuff too long and depressing a list to think about.

However the Lesser Weevil’s socialization progresses… somewhat erratically, but it is progress. I look at all the stuff that she could chew, trash, dig, crap on and otherwise demolish— but hasn’t yet— and I have reason for hope. After all, she only knocked me down three times last week, during the morning run, and this week she hasn’t managed to do it once. There has been only one puddle on the floor in the morning this whole week; kicking her outside for half an hour in the evening just before we go to bed, and letting her out as soon as I get up has paid off. The chain leash is working well, and she does pay attention when I snap the leash and halti. She sits patiently to have the whole contraption put on, before her walk in the morning, but I really don’t know that she is grasping this whole guard—dog concept. She loves people, and frolics up to them, eager to be petted and admired. Last week I was admiring some renovations being done to the outside, and the inside of a house up the street. It turns out the owners were doing more than just replacing the garage door with a bay window and new front door: the inside of the house was being entirely re-done. I stopped to admire, and get a card from the construction firm, and the work-crew supervisor very kindly offered to hold Weevil’s leash so I could look at the work being done on the inside. Blondie and I suspect that in the event of any danger or threat, Weevil will be cowering behind us.

My neighbor Judy reminded me about dogs being pack animals at heart. They live for the pack, run with the pack, play with the pack, curl up and sleep with the pack. In casting their lot with us humans, all of that affection and loyalty is transferred to humans, as their pack leader, or other members of the household. And thus the Weevil’s overflowing fountain of love and devotion has focused on us, on Blondie and I… and those others in the household, the lesser members of the new pack, but members who are above her in the hierarchy and often above her, physically. That is, the cats.

There is an amusing dynamic going on here. The Weevil’s self-identity as a dog is somewhat fluid. It is likely that she, in fact, sees herself as some sort of over-sized, barking cat. She spends a great deal of energy in trying to get them to play with her, she has tried on several occasions to climb up onto one of the favored cat-perches in the house (the back of the chair and the back of the sofa), she responds to the cats’ favored toy, a tuft of pink feathers at the end of a string and wand. She vies with the cats to be closest to Blondie or I… there is always at least one of the cats orbiting around us. She would sleep on our beds, too, but I—and the cats refuse to let her go that far.

The cats response to the Weevil is mixed; none of them is the least bit afraid of her, and only Little Arthur (AKA “El Blob”, who checks in at 16 pounds and is so fat that he is entirely circular when he plops down on the floor) is actively hostile. Henry VIII and Morgie, as the senior ranking cats are lordly and indifferent. She rates a hiss and a dismissive swipe of the paw when she tries to get them to play with her. They stalk off towards their refuge in Blondie’s room. But Sammy the Gimp, and Percival are recent additions, and relatively junior, and permit an astonishing degree of familiarity. Percival allows her to nuzzle his flanks, and to lick and even gum his ears, head and paws. Sammy will let her nuzzle, not quite so sloppily. They both bop her on the muzzle and head with their paws— claws lightly unsheathed— when it gets too much. Eventually, I think, they might curl up and sleep contentedly side by side, especially when the weather is very, very cold.

But I don’t think Weevil will ever, ever learn to use a litter-box. Damn.

20. February 2006 · Comments Off on The Ancient Lore of My People: Granny Clarke · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, Eat, Drink and be Merry, General, Memoir, Pajama Game

Granny Clarke was the mother of my mothers’ dearest friend from the time that JP and I were small children, from that time before Pippy was born, and my parents were living in a tiny rented cottage in the hills part of Beverly Hills… a house on a dirt road, with the surrounding area abundant in nothing much else but chaparral, eucalypts and rattlesnakes. Mom and her friend, who was eventually of such closeness that we called her “Auntie Mary” met when Mom began to attend services at a Lutheran congregation in West Hollywood, rather than endure the long drive to Pasadena and the ancestral congregation at Trinity Lutheran in Pasadena.

Auntie Mary Hammond was a little older than Mom, with four sons, each more strapping than the other, in spite of Auntie Mary’s wistful hopes for one of them to have been a girl. The oldest were teenagers, the youngest slightly younger than JP… although Paulie was as large and boisterous as his older brothers and appeared to be more my contemporary. They lived all together with Auntie Mary Hammonds’ mother, Granny Clarke, in a townhouse in West Hollywood, an intriguing house built on a steeply sloping street, up a flight of stairs from the concrete sidewalk, with only a tiny garden at one side, and the constant background noise and bustle of the city all around, not the quiet wilderness of the hills, which JP and I were more used to. But there was one thing we had in common with Paulie and his brothers— an immigrant grandparent with a curious accent and a long career in domestic service in Southern California.

It is a little known curiosity, outside Southern California (and maybe a surprise to even those inside it, in this modern day) that there was once a thriving and very cohesive British ex-pat community there; one that revolved around the twin suns of the old and established wealthy families, and the slightly newer movie business… united in their desire for employment as high-class and supremely competent domestic service, or just residence in a place offering considerably nicer weather. They all met on Sundays at Victor McLaughlin Park, where there were British-rules football games, and even cricket matches, all during the 20ies and 30ies. (My maternal and paternal grandfathers may even have met there, twenty years before their son and daughter resolved to marry their respective fortunes together).

All unknowing, my own Grandpa Jim and Auntie Mary’s mother, Granny Clarke, represented the poles of that lonely expat community. Grandpa Jim worked for nearly three decades for a wealthy, well-established Pasadena family of irreproachable respectability… and Granny Clark, for reasons that may be forever unknown, sometime in the mid teens or early 20ies of the last century, took it into her head to work for “those Hollywood people”. According to my mother, who took much more interest in Granny Clarke and held her in considerable reverence, this was an irrevocable career move. In the world of domestic service in Southern California in the late teens or early 20ies, once a domestic had “Hollywood” people on the professional resume, they were pretty well sunk as far as the other respectable employers were concerned. It is all rather amusing at this 21st century date to discover that the Old Money Pasadena/Montebello People looked down on the New Money Los Angeles People, who all in turn and in unison looked down on the very new Hollywood People… who had, as legend has it, arrived on a train, looking for nice weather and a place to film those newfangled moving picture thingies without being bothered by an assortment of … well, people that did not have their best economic interests at hand, back on the Other Coast.

So, while Granny Clarke might have been originally advised that she was committing professional suicide by casting her fortunes with “those Hollywood People”, it turned out very well in the end, for her, even though she appeared, personally, to have been the very last likely person to take to the waters of the Tinseltown domestic pool with any enthusiasm. She was a being of the old breed, a stern and unbending Calvinist, the sort of Scots Lowlander featured in all sorts of 19th century stories; rigidly honest and a lifelong teetotaler, fearlessly confident in the presence of those who might have assumed themselves to be her social and economic betters, honest to a fault… and thrifty to a degree that my mother (no slouch in that department, herself) could only genuflect towards, in awe and wonder. One of the first things that I remember Mom telling me about Granny Clarke was that she would carefully melt and re-mold the half-consumed remnants of jelled salads, pouring the liquid into an even smaller mold, and presenting a neat appearance at a subsequent meal. Neither Mom nor Grannie Jessie ever had felt obliged to dress up leftovers as anything else than what they were, but Granny Clarke was a consummate professional.

Her early employers, so Mom related to me, were so enormously and touchingly grateful not to be abused, cheated and skinned economically, (or betrayed to the tabloids and gossip columnists) that no matter how personally uncomfortably they might have felt in the presence of someone who was the embodiment of sternly Calvinistic disapproval of their personal peccadilloes, Granny Clarke was fully and generously employed by a long sequence of “Hollywood people” for the subsequent half-century. Granny Clarke managed to achieve, I think, a certain ideal, of being able to tolerate in the larger arena, while disapproving personally, and being respected and valued in spite of it all. She was painfully honest about household accounts, and ran the kitchen on a shoestring, buying the least expensive cuts… and with magical skill, conjuring the most wonderful and richly flavored meals out of them.

She was for a time, employed by Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks at the legendary Pickfair mansion, before moving on to her longest stretch of employment, as housekeeper and cook for the dancer and star, Eleanor Powell. According to Mom, she only and regretfully left service with Ms. Powell after the formers’ marriage to Glenn Ford. The impetus was that Granny Clarke collected stamps and so did Mr. Ford, and after the marriage of Mr. Ford and Miss Powell, Granny Clarke no longer had an uncontested pick of the many exotic stamps that came in attached to Miss Powell’s fan mail. She went to work for James Mason, instead. Presumably, he didn’t grudge her the stamps from his fan mail.

In retirement, she lived with her daughter and son in law, and their four sons, which is when I knew her. We were all only aware in the vaguest way that she had been the housekeeper to the stars; that all paled besides the wonderful way she cooked, and the way she cosseted us smaller children. I wish I had thought to ask for more stories about Hollywood in her time, for she must have been a rich fund of them. One hot summer day, when we were at their house for dinner, Mom was not feeling very well, and when she confessed this, Granny Clarke said, sympathetically,
“Oh, then I’ll fix you some poached eggs in cheese sauce.”
It sounded quite revolting to Mom— I think she may have been pregnant with Pippy— but when Granny Clarke set down a beautifully composed dish of perfectly poached eggs, bathed in a delicately flavored cheese sauce, Mom was able to eat every bite, and keep it down, too. She had never tasted anything quite so delicious, and when she said so, Granny Clarke allowed as how her poached eggs in cheese sauce had been a favorite among certain guests at Pickfair. Those movie moguls and directors and that, she said, all had ulcers and stomach upsets, through being so stressed… but they were all, to a man, very fond of her poached eggs and cheese sauce.

I rather think it must have been something rather like this cheese sauce, taken from Jan & Michael Sterns’ “Square Meals” savory cheese sauce:

Melt 2 TBsp butter, adding 3 TBsp four, 1 Tsp salt, a dash of pepper, 1 Tsp prepared mustard and 1 Tsp Worchester sauce, and whisk until smooth. Stir in slowly;
2 Cups milk, and add 1 cup grated American or cheddar cheese. Simmer 5-10 minutes, stirring constantly until sauce is smooth and thick. Makes about 2 cups of sauce, enough to puddle generously around 4 poached eggs— two servings of 2 eggs each. Depends on how much you like cheese sauce, I guess, or how much you like eggs… or have toast fingers to dunk in the cheese sauce.

The trick to poached eggs is to break each egg into a small bowl, and to pour it into a pot of boiling water after you have taken a spoon and whisked the water to make a small whirlpool… or to use one of those patent egg-poacher saucepan inserts so beloved of outlets like Williams-Sonoma.

09. February 2006 · Comments Off on Adventures with the Lesser Weevil, Part the Second · Categories: Domestic, General, Pajama Game

The Lesser Weevil is, to put it plainly, a very attractive and fine-looking figure of a dog, and a great many charmed people have said so, as she frolicked up towards them, and bathed them in the affection of her regard. A lovely light golden brown in color, with a white blaze on her chest, and around her nose (otherwise darkly masked), the toes of all four feet tipped in white, and a little white flag on the tip of her tail; her eyes are dark gold, and very intelligent. She is sociable towards all humans and most other dogs, save for those former who are coming as strangers up to the house, or the latter, who are barking in an otherwise hostile fashion. She loves to meet other dogs and their humans, and is unflagging in her attempts to get the cats to romp with her; she has also taken to being an indoor pet with a great deal of zest and enthusiasm. As I opened this progress report, she was blissfully asleep on the den sofa, keeping Blondie company during “Antiques Roadshow”.

Other progress has been made, towards grasping the concept of controlling bowels and bladder inside the house; she comes into my bedroom in the early morning and stands beside the bed, whining faintly, and nudging my arm. At these moments, I keep visualizing a small but well-behaved child, shifting uneasily from foot to foot, and pleading, “Ma’am, I hafta go pee…I really hafta pee… Ma’am, I really, really hafta go pee, pleeeeeeese let me out, I hafta pee!” Really, it is quite intelligent of her to come and wake me up directly, rather than go through this performance at the sliding door into the back yard (at the other end of the house, take note) in the hope that the fuss might wake Blondie or I up. This morning, I opened the slider door, she went out briskly, trotted around the corner to the “Designated Puppy Pooping Precinct”, did her business efficiently (to judge by the rustling of the leaves) and came back to the door where I was waiting and let her in again. Five minutes, if that. Both of us were curled up and asleep again in a matter of moments… But in separate spaces.

Really, I am not that so far-gone that I would let her sleep on my bed, like one of the cats, although that has not stopped her from trying to climb onto the back of the armchair. The cats curl up on it, why not she, or so she appears to think, happily ignorant of the brute physical fact that she outweighs Henry and Arthur by about forty pounds. She does live in hope of enticing any or all of them to frolic with her in a happily ecumenical manner, but so far only Percival and Sammy show any signs of responding. Percival allows her to lick his ears and nudge him, and he cuffs her nose and nips lightly at her ears until he gets tired of it all. Morgie and Henry stalk off in offended dignity, and Little Arthur hisses like a leaky teakettle. (How that cat can keep a prolonged growl going without taking a breath is a marvel- wonderful breath control, he should be an opera singer.) None of them seem to be in the least afraid of her; rather the opposite. She does keep a wary distance between herself and Arthur, who is the master of the drive-by clawing. And Blondie has observed Arthur actually stalking her, or laying in ambush.

We bought a couple of the different smoked dog-bones which seem to help with the chewing problem: the small ones barely lasted a day or so, the large one is now in two pieces, but she’s been working on it for a couple of weeks. I bought a bottle of the bitter-tasting spray compound, which might have induced her to let the porch furniture and the garden trellis alone, but alas for the plants not killed by the December frost. The backyard is pretty well devastated…. In the spring I will have to come up with some dog-proof landscaping. I’m afraid that large rocks and a lot of gravel will feature heavily.

The halti-harness/restraint worked out after a some false starts: First, she chewed through the safety strap that links the halti to her collar: off to the hardware store for two sprung rings and a short length of chain. And one morning, she took off after a squirrel, like a rocket accelerating. The leash with the patent reel ran out all the way and then snapped, and she kept going. Well, at least she came back after the squirrel shot up into a handy tree, and there weren’t any cars on the street at that hour of the morning. That flimsy leash is replaced with a chain leash… gnaw on this, Weevil! She has caught on to that whole “heeling” concept quite splendidly, and paces along at a trot, with her head just by my left knee for most of our morning run, although the first block or so is taken up with the puppy-wrestling match. She takes an end of the leash in her teeth and pulls vigorously, dancing at the end of it like a dervish. This used to last until the top of the hill, now she minds her manners and falls into the proper mode after the first block. I suspect she might be a little older than we first thought, and that someone, early on, had begun training her. She is bright enough, but no dog Einstein, not enough to have figured it out between one day and the next.

(To be continued)

06. February 2006 · Comments Off on Jesse James – Hero? · Categories: Domestic, General, History

PBS: American Experience is discussing Jesse James. In the opening sequence, talking heads say, among other things…

“he was about little people going up against things bigger than they were.”

“ultimate rebel, who fights, fights, goes down not by the system he fights against, but by a Judas in his own midst.”

Ummm… he was a bankrobber, a murderer, and a thug.

more later – I need to see where they’re going with this.

update:

I guess that was their way of hooking folks to watch the show – interesting that I had never heard those stories about him before, but they’re saying that Jesse tried to paint himself that way, to be more appealing to the masses.

31. January 2006 · Comments Off on The Best Thing About This Year’s “State of the Union” · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, General Nonsense, Politics, That's Entertainment!

…it shortened a horrific American Idol by an hour.

And yes, I’m saying this BEFORE the speech.

Update: Okay, not a bad speech all in all. Beautiful Wife loved Laura looking at him mouthing, “Thanks Babe.”

29. January 2006 · Comments Off on When the Going Gets Wierd · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, General, Media Matters Not, That's Entertainment!

The weird turn pro, and apparently write a memoir about it, which is all very nice when it sells a LOT of copies, and the writer becomes FAMOUS and sells a mega-jiga-million copies, and everyone remembers that they knew you when… maybe. Journalistic fabrication is so last year (Stephen Glass, Janet Cooke, whatsisface at the NYT), the current flave of the moment must be the memoir…. One’s own life, but with with improvements.

The fun begins when everyone who knew you when— the people next door, brothers and sisters, employers, co-workers, ex-spouses, friends and former friends score a copy and begin to realize that there is a whole ‘nother reality reflected there, one with which they were completely unacquainted. So having the Oprah Winfrey/James Frey imbroglio all this week— hell, even Cpl./Sgt. Blondie has heard of it, and she is more of an HGTV fan than anything. The lesson ought to be for memoirists to linger meaningfully in the general vicinity of verifiable facts, either that or wait to write it all when everyone else is dead and can’t argue the point with you. If you really can’t wait that long, perhaps it would be less embarrassing to just call it fiction, loosely based on your own life…. Even if the stuff that really happens is sometimes stranger than you can ever make up.

Then, of course, on the second page of the paper this morning, there is a story about another writer— somewhat less well known since Oprah didn’t personally have to rip him a new one on national television— who wasn’t a Native American at all. What is it with wanting to be a Native American, all that mysticism and wilderness wisdom? And Timothy Barris wasn’t the first, (Grey Owl, anyone?) only being a porn writer may have been a little less embarrassing than the resume and club membership of this best-selling but unfortunately fraudulent Indian. And Carlos Castenada and Rigoberta Menchu still have passionate defenders willing to deny or discount certain uncomfortable findings.

Really, I feel quite sorry for people who begin with a little fib, a touch of exaggeration and eventually wind up believing it… some of them do not take contradiction well, and it is way too late in the game to get a writer and memoirist like Lillian Hellman a little painful cross-examination (But Mary McCarthy tried, anyway.)

Fraudulent memoirists like Frey and Barris may be a passing evil, best selling or not. Grey Owl and Asa Carter, although not as advertised, were possessed of a lovely and sympathetic writing style and may even have done good with their output, in the long run. But Menchu and Hellman, with the deeply politicized aspect to their writings and public personas probably have not. After contemplating how their books inflamed or warped the perceptions of certain public issues, it is a positive relieve to contemplate Ern Malley and Penelope Ashe, two last literary frauds which were done for no more reason than to make a point, and for their perpetrators to have a little fun putting one over; A self-consciously literary magazine called “Angry Penguins” is just begging to be sent up, and as for “Naked Came the Stranger”… it was proved in 1969, and for a hundred years before and ever since, that trash with a naked woman on the front cover will sell.

(PS My own memoir is still for sale, with the following corrections noted: Mom says the Toby-dog got stuck on the fence in the morning, not evening… and Pippy says that her rabbits’ name was Bernadette Bunny. Not just Bunny.
Please buy a copy! I had a small fenderbender with the VEV, which broke the front grille and both headlights, and the insurance company probably won’t pay for anything but junking the VEV entirely, so I am having to pay for all the purely cosmetic repairs out of pocket! Thanks!)

23. January 2006 · Comments Off on Adventures With the Lesser Weevil- Pt. 1 · Categories: Domestic, General, Pajama Game

Well, I took the advice about the kong rubber toys last week: somewhat mixed results on that. Lesser Weevil has two of them now, but she keeps misplacing the damned things, once she has sucked the peanut-butter/kibble filling out of them… I don’t suppose there is a clever invention thingy to sort of attach them to her, the way that babies have their pacifiers attached to them by way of a short length of ribbon and a safety pin? No, I didn’t think so. And I think that the peanut butter gives her the trots.

The other announcer at TPR (on duty in the news/information station at the same time that I am on duty in the classical music station) who works as a veterinary technician advises making available those monstrous whole bones, which are sold at local grocery chain, in the pet products aisle. They apparently are cow shin bones, although they look like mastodon bones, something that Fred Flinstone would throw to Dino for a good crunch and munch. She says her dogs take a couple of weeks or so to reduce them to atoms… and they do polish their teeth nicely, as well. We tested this out with something alleged to be a pig shin-bone, which she has been happily crunching away on for the last 24 hours, and seeming to ignore everything else. I have painted everything left in the garden that might be a chewing temptation with a spray-bottle of stuff that is supposed to taste even worse than bitter apple. So we shall see, and now on to the mastodon bone, hopefully before she has quite demolished the current bone to the sub-atomic level. My friend the vet tech and radio announcer says it takes her dogs a couple of weeks to demolish one, and it has the added benefit of keeping their dear little destructive teeth gleaming and shiny white.

The halti-collar, which I bought and tried out this morning, did not work quite as well— she managed to scoop it off her face whenever I slacked off of it. On the other hand, she was not pulling like a tractor at the other end of the leash; it may yet have some benefit in a training situation— not on the morning run, however. This week we were working on the fine technique of walking or trotting on a close-hauled leash, at my knee, which works well sometimes, and at other times only as long as I am chanting, “Heel Weevil, heel, dammit! Good girl, dammit, heel!”, and have the leash doubled around my fist and holding her in position with bodily strength. Perhaps I should just consider this as an upper-body workout—she weighed 47 pounds when we took her to the vet before Christmas, and she has filled out a little since then; say fifty pounds and strong with it. The book about boxer dogs that Blondie bought on sale says that they tend to be very clever, quite willful unless strictly schooled, and very, very powerful for their size.

It is clear from the pictures in the book, though, that Weevil is definitely not within a country mile of pure boxer breed. She has the color, the temperament and the intelligence, but at least half of her genetic makeup is something else, something taller, leggier and leaner. She has an interesting whorl, or cowlick in the fur on the back of her neck, and on occasion, her fur nearly stands straight up, all the length of her backbone— so it does with most dogs, when agitated, but a couple of neighbors have commented that the whorl is a characteristic of Rhodesian ridgebacks… and there are a couple of the breed in the neighborhood, so there is something to make a comparison too.

She is making up to some of the cats: Sammy the Gimp, the three-legged white cat who moved from across the road upon falling deeply in love with Blondie last year, and Percival, the shy and semi-feral little grey catling whom I tamed and moved indoors to a life of privilege the year before seem to be the closest to breaking down and being best buds. She will break down and chase them when they loose their nerve and run away, but they don’t actually seem to be afraid of her. Sammy will sit on the back of the armchair, and Weevil will boldly and repeatedly nudge him with her nose:
“Run! Play with me! Run!”
In response Sammy will bop her on the head with his good paw, claws barely sheathed.
”I do not care to run.”

And this will go on until both of them are quite tired of it. She tries this with Percival, too— Blondie says he nipped her on the ear this morning. Of the other cats, only Little Arthur is hostile: Blondie has observed him stalking Weevil, and she is quite properly terrified of him. Morgie and Henry are magnificently indifferent, apparently feeling that the dog has her place… and it is well beneath their lordly notice.

21. January 2006 · Comments Off on Mawwidge, That Bwessid Awangement · Categories: Domestic, General

Well, yes it is, mostly, for a lot of my friends, my sister and brothers, and most notably my parents. I have always had a deep and abiding respect for the institution, especially other peoples’… especially the marriage of the sort of man who would sidle up to me at the NCO club of a Saturday, and eventually say something like “I am married… but my wife doesn’t understand me. “ To which my usual response was “Oh, I am so sorry, have you ever considered marriage counseling? Why don’t you introduce me to her, I can suggest it.” Those fortunate individuals with a solidly good marriage can count themselves as, well, “bwessid, in that dweam wivin a dweam”, and the not so fortunate rest of us are usually thought to be wistfully pressing our noses against the pure crystal windows of the Castile of Marital Bliss, longing for admission. For the last couple of months no less a person than Maureen Dowd has been publicly and tediously bewailing her single estate and the long string of elgible men left under-whelmed by her “mature” * attractions. Columnist Nora Vincent has even gone undercover as a self-made man, and emerged lamenting the treatment of the average Joe by predatory females of our species; All in all there is a good rousing kerfuffle going on, with much breast-beating about essentially, a “marriage strike”. It appears that modern men (or women, depending) can get all the economic and material advantages (not to mention sex and/or companionship) which used to accrue to the married state, without all the risks and drawbacks… so, ummm… why bother to buy that set of gold rings and schedule that hasty trip to the courthouse? goes the reasoning.
More »

19. January 2006 · Comments Off on On Tee-Vee Tonight… · Categories: Domestic, General, General Nonsense, That's Entertainment!

Three reasons * to watch “My Name is Earl”

1. It’s the ultimate in raunchy, coarse, politically incorrect and insensitivity on broadcast TV…
2. The protagonist is neither a doctor, cop or lawyer…
3. It’s funny, and doesn’t feel the need to wallop the audience over the head with a laugh-track.

* So that adds up to more than three reasons, depending on how you count. This here blog is not the New York Times.

19. January 2006 · Comments Off on Where Are We Headed? · Categories: Domestic, Home Front, Politics, Rant, Stupidity

Things are not right in the great country that we grew up in: Right on the heels of a Vermont case where a man was convicted of child rape and received only 60 days in jail, comes a case in Massachussetts where a man was convicted, and plead guilty of raping a 15 year-old boy, receiving no jail time at all, only probation. Details of the latest case are sketchy, however, in the earlier Vermont case, a former high school math and science teacher was convicted in January 2004 of child rape by Judge Delvecchio of the Vermont District Court.

The significance of these cases points out the desperate condition of the court system in this country and the quite valid reason for the President to appoint as many conservative judges (who apply, not make, law) as possible during his term in office. Before I start getting piles of howling protest comments from the moonbat left screaming about imperial US power and civil rights, let’s take a deep breath and demand that the government use some common sense. This kind of madness from our courts must stop or we are doomed as a nation. Or is it too late?

17. January 2006 · Comments Off on Relics · Categories: Domestic, General, Memoir, Pajama Game

One of the first things my youngest brother Sander said to me after Mom and Dad’s house burned in the Paradise Mountain fire, two years and three months ago in Northern San Diego County was “”Well, that solves any dispute between us over who gets what!” Because there is now pitifully little of the “family things”, the accumulation of this, and that, bits of china and knick-knacks, furniture and linens— all those tangible records of our ancestors’ taste and purchasing ability, all those familiar things that were just always there, in Granny Jessie’s or Granny Dodie’s house, or in Mom and Dad’s. When Blondie was still my parents’ only grandchild, and looked in a fair way to inherit the entire accumulation for good or ill, Mom remarked once, “Well, I hope she likes dusting!” Their house had lately become full of things that Pip, JP and I had been used to seeing at our grandparents, in addition to all sorts of things that had always been there— the red Naugahyde upholstered club arm-chair, the India-brass coffee table with the blue iris bowl on it and a fan of magazines and books arrayed around it, the spiky and uncomfortable teak Danish Modern dining room table and chairs, Mom’s wedding-present silver place settings— all those things that had moved from Rattlesnake Cottage, to the White Cottage, to the Redwood House and Hilltop House and their eventual resting place in the house Mom and Dad built together, the house that burned to the ground, all those things reduced to a pile of rubble and ashes, scraped up from the concrete pad by a bulldozer blade and carried away to be dumped… but not before the ashes had been combed and sifted by various volunteers, family members and neighbors.

The house is mostly rebuilt, now— Mom and Dad moved in several months ago, happily abandoning the RV which they bought to replace the one loaned to them by friends. The veranda, and solarium were still incomplete, the area around the garage was still piled with gravel, roof tiles, and squares of terra-cotta saltillo tiles, but the main house was completed, and all the stored furniture (nearly every scrap of it second-hand and gently worn) moved out of where it had been stashed for the last eighteen months… all the linens and clothes, bric-a-brac, bedding and kitchen things put away, and Blondie and I went around for a day, armed with a hammer and picture hangers, and deployed pictures in pleasing and eye-catching formations on certain of the walls. This iteration of Mom and Dad’s house is much more comfortably arranged for visitors, and for entertaining, with a lovely and generous kitchen arranged around a wood-topped central island and stocked with all the cleverest recent developments in storage— a pull-out cabinet with two trash cans, a drawer with a sliding cover for crackers and bread, a shallow drawer especially for cookie sheets and racks, and a spice shelf with an array of smaller hinged shelves tucked inside of it. Clever and ingenious as it all is, we were constantly going to the wrong cupboard for the commonly used things— mugs and silverware, glasses and plates. Invariably, we would first go to where they had used to be, in the house before. What used to be Mom’s studio is now a sort of entryway and secondary living room, which can be closed off with sliding wooden doors to make a second guest bedroom, and the guest bathroom is much larger, with a tall wooden linen closet built in, and a dressing area.

Besides hanging pictures and clearing the last of their things out of the RV, Blondie and I took on another dispiriting chore that I think Mom and Dad just didn’t want to deal with; the last of the remains salvaged from the ashes; six or seven heavy boxes consigned to the shed, filthy with ash and grit from the fire, and disgusting from having been nested in by mice.
Neighbors, friends and family had gone over the site with hope and enthusiasm; some of the things— mostly china, metal and glass— were wrapped in newspaper. Plain white kitchen plates, fairly undamaged, a rectangular enamel casserole which used to be turquoise blue, now it was greenish, and the enamel bubbled and crazed… a set of eight fragile demitasse cups and saucers, the pastel colors of flowers and leaves mutated by fire, but otherwise whole and un-chipped… a little china bulldog chasing it’s tail, also un-chipped but slightly blackened with a deposit of soot and crud from the tarpaper. A silver cigarette case, and a pocket-watch, a little tin box full of cut and unset gem agates, another of coins… about half the pieces from the blue iris bowl, not enough to reconstruct….two handfuls of corroded silver-plate spoons, knives and forks, a kitchen-knife with the wooden handle all burned away. Two irregular conglomerations of smashed wedding china stuck together with melted glass… one of them with the remains of a serving fork imbedded in it. A couple of heavy cut-crystal decanter stoppers, slightly deformed. The antique teapot with the curious lid, an ornamental platter painted with birds on a cactus plant, and a green and blue ewer with a silver-plate lid, not much damaged, as Mom had put them in a bathtub full of water, not realizing that the roof tiles would smash down on top of it all— but at least all the pieces were in one place, and only a little of the soot and tar crud on them. Those three can be repaired, Pip and I will see to it. It was fascinating, in a faintly gruesome way, sorting out what things actually were, and wondering in some cases, how they had survived in a recognizable form.

But all the rest reminded me of nothing so much as the cases of relics dug up from Pompeii, all laid out carefully under glass, with little labels pinned to the fabric on which they lay: the fragile glass and the corroded spoons, fire-blasted pots, with blobs of melted sand stuck to them, the humble and prosaic, the occasional small luxury, all gritty with soot and a dusting of ashes, but more imperishable than memory.

11. January 2006 · Comments Off on Mere Doggerel · Categories: Domestic, General, Pajama Game

Oh, good lord, after 20+ years of dedicated cat ownership (having freely acknowledged that a cat or cats more or less owned me as their human-hot-water-bottle, their provider of companionship, clean litter-boxes and finest gourmet cat kibble) I have descended—as Morgie, Henry VIII, Little Arthur, Percival and Sammy would see it— to ownership of that lesser form of companion-animal life, a mere dog. Yes, a mere dog, in the form of the Lesser Weevil, chosen for me by Cpl/Sgt. Blondie. Owing to a small spate of petty crime, or attempted crime in my otherwise fairly regulated neighborhood, my daughter issued an edict; that as I generally live alone, I should have either a dog, or a gun. I chose the dog as the lesser of two weevils. Not only is it rather harder to kill someone by accident with a dog, but one of the local patrolling SAPD officers cheerfully noted when asked for his opinion, that he had oftener been chased out of a back yard by a dog than he had been by a gun. The initial expense and upkeep, training and licensing, plus ammunition or food and vet bills may work out to about the same amount, in the long run. And a dog is generally more charming and affectionate… and the Lesser Weevil is all that… charming, happy, affectionate, quite intelligent as dogs go (some of my parents’ dogs were certifiable idiots), and rather attractive… again, as dogs go.

She is mostly and obviously boxer, with a quarter to a half of something else; what that something else might be is a mystery for geneticists, but her resulting general appearance is of a leggier, slender boxer. She is fulfilling the basic requirement of being a watch or alarm dog, in that she does bark at strangers coming to the door, or crossing the green belt too close to the back fence, but displays a pleasingly intelligent discretion in that she does not bark endlessly over trivial or distant provocations, and stops barking once Blondie or I tell her to stop. The bark is evidence of some other ancestry; a deep sonorous bay, reminiscent not of Jengiss-Khan, but something more like a bloodhound or beagle. She is intelligent, in that she has caught on to the concept of “sit”, “stay”, “get in the car”, “behave”, “on the right, Weevil!” and manages mostly to obey, and to not pee inside the house too much… well, only once or twice in the last 48 hours. We started letting her inside the house after we came home from California: she was allowed inside there, and spend nights in the guest room with us, so it was just too cruel to banish her to the yard again.

The cats are handling this thing very well; they have the upper hand inside, and they know it and she knows it. Touchingly, she seems to want them to play with her. I have observed her often crouching down, tail wagging, just inviting them to a romp, but only Blondie’s cat, Sammy the Gimp (who was raised with dogs, albeit much smaller ones!) is interested in accepting the invitation. Percival and Morgie are distantly interested, Henry VIII is just disinterested, and Little Arthur is the only one actively hostile— he snarls, hisses, and makes a barbed one-paw swipe at her at every opportunity. But none of them are afraid of her, really. This evening, she was sniffing at Henry, who was his usual bored and languid self, sprawled half on his back in the hallway, hardly a defensive posture. All he did was bare his teeth and hiss; somewhat crushed, she let him alone. I don’t really think she sees cats as an alien species to her, just some sort of odd, non-barking and snobbish dog, who mystifyingly, do not want to play with her.

And she is a friendly and open-natured dog. Hostility from other dogs freaks her out, and then she displays a overwrought tragic and woebegone countenance that would do Sarah Bernhardt proud. At a rest-stop beside the highway near Ft. Stockton, she was snapped at by a bad-tempered poodle while Blondie had her on the leash in the pet area and I was in the restroom. When I came back, Blondie was sitting on one of the benches, with an utterly distraught Lesser Weevil gathered up in her lap… if Weevil had been a small child, she would have been sobbing uncontrollably.

And lest this seem like an utter paragon of a dog, there are some small considerations to hold against her. The veterinarian guessed her age at anywhere between 6 and 18 months, and at this point I would tend towards the younger end of that sliding scale. She tends to be over-excitable, especially when Blondie and I come home after a time away from the house, and the first half-mile or so of my run in the morning is a prolonged wrestling match with a rowdy puppy, pirouetting like a maddened dervish, until she settles down to a steady reliable trot… there was an accident on the rug not twenty minutes ago… and she chews things. My god, does she chew things. A partial list of casualties so far includes all three pillows off the porch furniture, two of the wooden outdoor chairs, a plastic garden sprayer, one garden hose, my gardening hat (which was practically trashed anyway), the bottom of the trellis gate arch, a bamboo outdoor table with glass top (she knocked it over and the glass shattered on the stone pathway) a rose bush, a butane lighter kept on the back porch to light the oil lanterns with, her own leash, and a pleather handbag of Blondie’s forgetfully left in reach.

My neighbor Judy advises me that this will go on for another year or so; I only hope I have some garden left at the end of it.

07. January 2006 · Comments Off on Weekend Recipe: Catalan Fish Medley · Categories: Domestic, Eat, Drink and be Merry, General

(Source for this recipe was probably the Stars & Stripes newspaper— I have no idea where they took it, as I copied it out into my own little book of recipes)

Chop finely:
2 large onions
4-5 large cloves garlic
2 red bell peppers
2 Tbsp smoked dried ham such as proscutto, or Spanish jamon serrano

Slice and set aside: 6 Medium tomatoes

Clean and devein: 1lb whole shrimp

Grind to a fine cornmeal consistancy enough shelled almonds to make 1/2 cup of ground nutmeats. Set the tomatoes, shrimp and almonds aside.

Sautee the onions, garlic, and ham in a large sautee pan or dutch oven in 1/2 cup olive oil. (Oil quantity can be reduced somewhat, to 1/3 cup)
When onions and peppers are soft, sprinkle over them:

1 tsp mild paprika
1 tsp hot paprika

Stir and cook for 2 minutes, then add ground almonds, cooking and stirring for another minute. Stir in the tomatoes and bell peppers, along with:

1 crumbled bay leaf
1/8 tsp crumbled saffron threads

Simmer for five minutes, and stir into the pan:

1 1/2 lbs sole, turbot, perch or red snapper filets, cut into 2-in chunks
1/2 cup white wine
juice of one lemon.

Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer and let cook for to minutes. Add the shrimp and simmer for another 3-4 minutes. Serve immediatly, garnished with fresh parsley and lemon wedges.

It’s good served with jasmine rice. This recipe may be halved, to better suit a small family… and may also be done in a microwave, with everything added in the same order, and nuked appropriatly.