Here’s something that completely blew my mind recently. Apparently it’s common practice in some circles for women to carry their cell phones, and I shit you not about this, in their panties right up against their coochie. There’s a plethora of jokes to be made about the phone in vibrate mode etc., but I’m going to leave those alone and talk about why this is just a BAD idea. The cell phone is a small computer with all sorts of chips and electricity running through those chips, not to mention a lithium battery that’s meant to hold enough power for up to a four hour phone call. Do you really think it’s a good idea to keep an electronic device that isn’t made for that part of your body down there? Never mind the fact that it’s not good for your phone, would you put a computer down there? No, you wouldn’t. You would intuitively know that it’s a bad idea. Yet, I’ve learned that there are a LOT of women who do this every day. Don’t even get me started about the fact that you’re going to be putting that near your mouth. And for God’s sake don’t tell me that you wash it regularly, your phone I mean. I assume everyone practices decent hygiene…well at least in this country…mostly.

This is something you couldn’t talk a guy into doing. “You want me to put a cell phone in my shorts next to Mr Happy and The Twins? I don’t think so sparky. I know those things give off some sort of radiation and I’m not about to risk anything nuking my package. Aren’t I worried about my brain then? I’m a dude, why would I worry about that?

Ladies, please, think before you store your cell phone in what, on a good day, could become a warm and wet environment. At the very least you’re risking shorting out your phone. And NO, it’s not covered under the warranty…which quite honestly is the phone call I got this past week which triggered this rant.