05. November 2006 · Comments Off on Al, We Hear You · Categories: General

Although I still think the alleged DNC schedule is hilarious, I am somewhat biased and had therefore planned to write a corresponding schedule for the RNC. While I do believe that the Democrats are clueless as to a) geopolitical realities, b) economics (to name two), the Republicans have their share of buffoons and head-up-their-a** ideas (who could forget the bloviating that went on during the Clinton impeachment hearings – I mean, after all, he likely did what they said but it didn’t spell the end of the republic)

Loyal reader Al beat me to the punch with the following comment that was automatically deleted by our spam software. I am told that our technical staff (that would be Timmer) is working on this issue, but in the meantime I think it only fair and appropriate to share Al’s thoughts. Without further ado, here they are (Al, I apologize of the formatting is incorrect – it came to me via email which had added various symbols that I removed – let me know if corrections are in order).

“Followed by the Republican convention, no doubt:

11am: Ringing endorsement of the war by the Young Republicans
Noon: Military recruiters appear; everyone runs for the hills except Bob Dole & GHB
1pm: Recruiters gone; convention back on. Vote to ban gay marriage unanimously approved
2pm: Gay massage & amphetamine break
3pm: Time to construct a manifesto. Go through Democrat manifesto and insert phrase “Only terrorists and their sympathizers would…” before every proposition
4pm: Prize draw in which everyone nominates next country to invade when the economy’s tanking and everyone remembers you still haven’t found Bin Laden. Jamaica wins as it’s close enough to Cuba for core Republicans not to know the difference, but usefully completely unarmed.
5pm: Addendum to draft military spending proposition put forward to define abortion clinics in California as asymmetric acts of war; doctor-killing formally approved
6pm: President Bush appears wearing a scarf as it’s cold outside. Offers this as categorical religious and scientific proof that global warming is a fallacy. Woolly mass baaas (sic) loudly and approves this as policy.

…and so on.

Actually, the Democrat list was funny, but only if you realize that there’s a near-infinite seam of venal, thieving immorality on the other side which means that “fish” and “barrel” doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

Thanks Al.

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