Stryker mentioned it here, but I think it needs more discussion.

What in the name of holy HELL is with all the toy bondage? What could possess anyone to want to secure a toy to it’s container in a fashion that requires TOOLS in order to get them loose? Power Rangers. GI Joes. RC Cars. All of them! Bound to their containers using the nefarious wire surrounded by slickery, grey, flexible plastic that you simply can’t get a grip on. If that’s not enough, it’s supplemented with the invisible rubber bands that must have been created in the middle of the Nevada desert because those things are the stealthiet things I’ve come across in my entire life. You get done working on the twisty things with the wire cutters and you’re sure the toy is finally free and you practically take Duke’s head off because of the Rubber Bands of Satan.

“Some Assembly Required” I understand. Been doing that since my nephews were young. Did it for much of Boyo’s life.

“Batteries not included” I also understand. There’s not a Dad out there that has missed that little notice more than once. You try findng a pack of Triple A Batteries on Christmas Day in the middle of Europe only one time…your lesson is learned.

It’s not like we can stage a boycott or anything. For some reason, all the toys Boyo “must have” are subjected to a treatment out of The Story of O.

Do yourselves a favor. Earn yourselves a little goodwill. Stoppit.

Stop the toy bondage.

Stop the toy bondage.

STOP THE TOY BONDAGE!