18. March 2008 · Comments Off on Rule Number Eighteen · Categories: General

Chris Gerrib writes

In the process of writing yesterday’s entry, I found the USMC Rules for Gunfighting. It’s both true and amusing.

Thank God I never had to apply these to ‘real life’.

Watch their hands. Hands kill.

Except that one, once. Kinda-sorta.

I was reasonably sure the guy wasn’t armed and he was what he looked like he was, which was a yokel from town delivering a new ditch witch to contractors aboard base.

But, god-damn. When a uniformed Marine roars up in a government vehicle that vaguely resembles a police car, parks it so the motor block is between you and he, unsnaps his holster and yells ‘show me your hands’ you do not stand there with your paws in the pockets of your overalls going ‘hunh?’

I did relish the look on his face when I un-holstered my M9 and chambered a round [1]. Hands were extracted and poked up in the air with gratifying speed.

For my enjoyment, even better was my next direction: to pick up the phone, mounted on a pole about two feet from his head, that had been ringing for five minutes.

If I’d been an ass I would have asked him to read the sign mounted above the phone:

VISITORS: ANSWER PHONE IF RINGING OR PICK UP PHONE TO CONTACT THE SENTRIES.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

[1] Readers might be wondering if drawing a pistol was a tad extreme. To this I will answer that this was not the main gate at Camp Lejeune but a rather more secure facility – we weren’t there to mess around.

An armchair grunt would also take issue with my not drawing the weapon as soon as I exited the vehicle.  To this I can only say that it wasn’t until I exited that vehicle that I observed he had his hands covered at which point the situation went from ‘drive out there and tell the asshole to answer the phone’ to ‘potential use of deadly force’.

04. March 2008 · Comments Off on Gary Gygax – RIP · Categories: General

And oh, the dice and hit-point jokes that will shower the land.

I never played D+D. I was such a dork in high school even the nerdly kids playing D+D shunned me.

I did start a D+D campaign – when I was twenty-four. Worked up a character and everything. Then the DM deployed to Saudi for Desert Shield so that kinda put a damper on the whole thing.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

20. February 2008 · Comments Off on Ol’ Yeller · Categories: General

Dude works for a big company. Blogs. Gets noticed. Gets fired. It happens.

Now, he claims he’s never seen an employee manual, which I find really hard to believe – those guys in HR are really into making sure people read those things. But, whatever.

Naw – my problem is his usage of metaphor ..

… that is until the day she was taken out into the figurative woods without any warning and given the Old Yeller treatment.

Dude. Ol’ Yeller wasn’t taken into the woods. Yeller was confined to a pen when he turned rabid and that’s where Travis did the deed. 

That and .. Ol’ Yeller had to die – he was rabid.  I don’t think the fellow is trying to make the point that his friend acquired rabies defending her boy against a wolf, and then had to be shot by his best friend.

Unless that’s really where he’s going; his friend got all weird in the course of her work so her corporate masters had to tearfully execute her.  Naw, that’s just too weird.

I call a metaphor penalty.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

16. February 2008 · Comments Off on Open · Categories: General

Because it’s the weekend. And it’s funny.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

via.

14. February 2008 · Comments Off on Spoilsports · Categories: General

The Air Force recently came by and did some simulated bomb runs on City Hall. The idea is that ground controllers need practice guiding air strikes in urban areas. Most bomb ranges are way the heck out in the middle of nowhere and lack urban terrain, so they come up here and do their thing.

Makes sense to me – you guys in blue do know how to rock on completely.

The paper described the AttackSimEx [1] as controversial but the only people who actually objected were six members from the Fox Valley Peace Coalition. One of whom was confused about what he was upset about.

“Apparently, this exercise is to improve the accuracy of bombs so they don’t have the ‘collateral damage,'” he said. “Collateral damage is a euphemism for killing innocent people, and I strongly object to my government killing innocent people. This is one small gesture on my part to at least make this known.”

Um, yeah. Actually the military [2] is all about killing as many people as possible; good, bad, innocent, guilty as sin, as long as the gun sight lays on ’em we’ll pull the trigger. Our only problem is we can’t slaughter them fast enough; they keep wiggling around and throwing off our aim.

No, it’s the nancy pants [3] in Accounting that insist we get as much bang for the buck as possible. While carpet bombing is a whole lotta fun and a terrific emotional release it’s just not effective enough. The taxpayer is footing the bill and it’s our fiduciary responsibility to make sure the bombs land as close to the actual target as possible. That way we can use less of them – it’s a win-win for everyone.

Except the guys who are actually the target. But we in the War Mongering business call this hard cheese.

That angular monstrosity is City Hall – the target. Talk about putting the ‘close’ in close-air support …

[1] I have no idea if the milspeak shorthand for this really is AttackSimEx or not – but if it were it would not surprise me.

[2] Sarcasm.

[3] You don’t really believe this, do you?

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

08. February 2008 · Comments Off on Join the Marines · Categories: General

Travel to exotic lands
Meet exciting unusual people
And kill them.

Protesters without a clue.

Berkeley, the famously liberal college town in California, has taken aim at Marine recruiters, saying they are “not welcome in our city.”

Unh, ladies?  The ditty you’re quoting isn’t a protest slogan.  It’s usually found on t-shirts and bumper stickers for sale outside the main gate and in Army-Navy surplus stores across the land.  It’s one of those yin-yang duality of nature mock-ironic things that service members do so well and clueless zealots just don’t get.

Instead of mindlessly repeating something you read on a recruiter’s bumper sticker, may I suggest a return to the classics?

1 .. 2 .. 3 .. 4
We don’t want your dirty war!

or

Hey, hey what do I say?
Kick the Marines into the bay!

or

Hey, hey, look our way!
We’re naive and we like it that way!

You’re welcome.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

06. February 2008 · Comments Off on Appreciating Winter · Categories: General

There is one nice thing about changing a tire in Wisconsin in February: all that ice and snow gives you good place to jab your tire iron so it stands upright.

This keeps it ready-to-hand and super easy to find.

03. February 2008 · Comments Off on The Boy is Back In Town and He’s Loaded for Bear · Categories: General

Cap is back .. and he’s packing heat.

 

Sadly, the article is short on details.  What kind of weapon is that?  Does he have to follow rules of engagement?  Is he available to be a spokesman for Colt?  Does Cap have a rifle in the truck of his Captain Americamobile?  Cause when you want to really reach out and touch someone a pistol just isn’t going to do.

I am morally certain that – this being Captain America – he’s packing am M1911, chambered in .45.  What could be more frickin’ American than carrying an All-American gun like that?

Subject Line Tip o’ the Hat to Thin Lizzy.

Friday night they’ll be dressed to kill
Down at Dino’s Bar and grill.
The drink will flow and blood will spill
If the boys want to fight, you’d better let them.

31. January 2008 · Comments Off on Rant · Categories: General

Half Sigma said [1]…

I am not impressed by McCain’s military experience. I worked for the army as a civilian, and it was the most poorly managed organization I ever worked for. Romney, on the other hand, has the proven capacity to run large organizations.

I think that whatever McCain’s failings, earning his wings as a Naval Aviator speaks volumes about young John McCain’s intelligence, adaptability and ability excel. Dummies don’t fly airplanes.

Now, I’m not sure when Half Sigma worked for the Army .. but generally he’s right.

The military is optimized to break things and hurt people. When it’s not actually doing this – and that was most of the time before between 1973 and 2001 – it’s incredibly inefficient.

The reason is that it’s really tough to run a lean military optimized for peacetime and then change stuff around in the span of a few months so you can destroy Iraqi mechanized armies with minimal waste. Or at least minimal waste on our side.

Nobody wants to replay Task Force Smith.

I was in a support role in 1991 and it’s amazing how many wasted cycles .. suddenly were not when we had to pack up people and gear and move them halfway around the world.

Did 3D FSSG need a whole bunch of desert camo in 1990? Going to the Middle East wasn’t our mission so you might think that the cubic set aside in the warehouses were wasted space.. But when we were tasked to send people the guys who went were pretty happy to be able to draw the gear they needed.

Likewise in 1990 3D FSSG didn’t need a DFASC [2] – mainframes in a trailer [3] – but when 1st and 2nd FSSG found theirs were breaking down (AC issues) we were able to ship them ours on a day’s notice.

Sorry for the rant – ignorance irks me.

Via.

[1] A rant is a terrible thing to waste so I’m recycling and editing a comment from another blog into a post.  Some editing for clarity, some to correct a faulty memory.

[2] Rumor had it that we were going to get rid of it someday and in the meantime we didn’t use it – or at least hadn’t in the year and few months I’d been assigned to that unit. After 1991 the mainframe guys routinely dragged them out and operated them on field exercises.

[3] Interesting beasts they were – two semi-trailers per DFASC, one for the mainframe, one for the operators and programmers.  Since my MOS was ‘programmer’ if we’d had to deploy ours I would have been put to work doing ‘programmer’ work.  Since I hadn’t done that since school that would have been interesting.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

28. January 2008 · Comments Off on Multi-Tasking considered harmful – not · Categories: General

In which the author blames multi-tasking for

The Iraq quagmire. The mess in Afghanistan. Failure to capture Osama. A car crash. The breakup with his girlfriend. Problems with his new girlfriend. Sexual disappointment. Failure to obtain cheap airplane tickets to San Francisco. His bosses failure to pay attention during a face-to-face. Enron.

The scientists call this ruinous mental lurching “dual task interference,” or just plain bottlenecking. I call it the reason Keven Federline cost me a cheap flight to San Francisco. (It also explains, perhaps, why sexual threesomes are often disappointing.)

I just wish the military understood the concept. They might understand then why “walking and chewing gum” in Afghanistan and Iraq is no way to catch bin Laden.

Right. ‘Cause we sure ’nuff had problems fighting Japan and Germany at the same time, fifty years ago. For that matter I worked for units that did complicated and diverse stuff all the time. It is as if getting stuff done across the world with hundreds of thousands of troops is just a bit more complicated than pulling a fum-ducker and driving your car off the road while looking a nekkid photo of your girlfriend on your cell phone.

I’m sure it plays well around the campfire with all the scouts nodding wisely and learnedly. But I ain’t buying it.

………..

It is true that when you try to multi-task it becomes enormously more difficult to do anything that requires actual thought.

Adults compensate for this by turning off the phone, not looking at email, setting distractions aside and getting on with stuff.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

28. January 2008 · Comments Off on That’s What I LIke About Texas · Categories: General

http://selenite.livejournal.com/207839.html

I ran into the lovely awamiba at Chikfila

Two things about Texas that I miss that I never thought I’d miss;

Chik-fil-a.

Jack in the Box.

Chik-fil-A for the food – about the best fast food you can find. And the cow advertisements – the idea of sentient cows selling out their fellow livestock (Eat Mor Chikin) tickles me.

Jack In the Box because the food is not at all good for you, it’s damned tasty, and Jack In the Box places don’t have playgrounds or pretend to be doing anything but moving fast food and getting people in and out.  And some of our first meals together were cheap burritos at Jack In The Box.

Mmmm. Burritos.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

05. January 2008 · Comments Off on FM 3-0 Operations (SAMS Edition) · Categories: General

FM 3-0 Operations (SAMS Edition)
Doctrine for Dummies
Illustrated by Mrs. Finklestien’s Third Grade Class

Introduction

You are students. This means you are supposed to learn things. Read this and learn it.

There will be a test. There are only two grades…”win”, or “lose”.

Come back with your shield, or on it.

I.M. Mean
General
Soldier in Chief

Excerpt

2. Whacking bad people is dangerous. It’s also hard. It’s easier and safer to whack the bad people if you do it from the air or the ocean. That’s because the bad people can’t afford the super weapons that do stuff from there. That’s why we have to be nice to the Navy and Air Force; so they will whack bad people with great enthusiasm.

Full text is here, includes a link to a PDF file.

Condensed version, with multimedia is here.

No one has produced an ultra condensed version in comic book ‘graphic novel’ format written at the 1st grade level for Marines. No doubt some very bright field-grade officers are working on that at Quantico.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

03. January 2008 · Comments Off on Don’t be an ass – the internet never forgets · Categories: General

Get caught doing the dumbs and you will never, ever live it down – the internet has a long memory.

Guy is caught keying a car – $2400 worth of damage. Guy has words with the car owner. Seems the guy keyed the car because the car owner has military tags and plates. The police are called. More words are tossed around. A citation is issued.

The details are at Blackfive.

A moment of ill-considered vandalism, a lifetime of crap.

The problem is, Google is good at finding stuff but not so good for measuring repentance. He could have a Come to Jesus moment a year from now, he could find himself a changed man a decade from now but Google will likely always pull this incident up, first.

It will also find the hatred and bile piled on by blogs and blog comments.

I have some sympathy.

A long time ago I made a foolish choice and screwed up. If I’d been a civilian I might have gotten fired and moved along to the next job.

I was enlisted in the Marine Corps. I got Non Judicial Punishment; docked a few months pay, reduced in rank.

Ambition

Yes, it sucked.

Every service member has a record book.  Your new commanding officer opens that sucker up and just about the first thing his eyeballs fall upon is Page 11; the list of all the Bad Things you’ve done. Later there is another page with all of the good things but by then it’s way too late.

If it you were a bad kid five minutes ago, or five years ago it’s all the same thing – condensed into neat tidy paragraphs for their reading displeasure. You know what’s coming ..

– We going to have any problems like this?

A small part of you may want to roll your eyes: I’ve heard this before. You want to say “That was five years ago and I regretted it about five seconds after the fact and long, long before the The Man had me standing tall in his office and oh boy have I changed, hey look at last quarter’s pro/con marks ..” but you don’t because all you can do is suck it up and demonstrate you’ve changed because Marines Don’t Whine.

You say ‘No Sir’ and get on with it. Because that’s what you do.

Chesty Puller
Five Navy CrossesNot a whiner.


At the risk of beating this into the ground …. this is a problem in the Real World where everyone is looking at your Page 11 and no one is going to be around to see what a good guy you actually are.  First impressions are last and final ones.

Google is great for finding information. It’s not so hot at measuring reputation capital – for telling people who you are now or how an otherwise ‘ok’ person had a bad day and fucked up his google rep for the next few years.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

02. January 2008 · Comments Off on Complacency kills · Categories: General

Fallujah is not exactly safe but it’s not the horror-show it was a year ago.

Several Marines were shocked that I was willing to walk around the streets of Fallujah without a gun, but I didn’t feel the slightest bit nervous. Complacency kills, and I get that. But I had Marines as bodyguards and I wasn’t allowed to defend myself anyway. So I figured I might as well relax.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

27. December 2007 · Comments Off on Gumption Trap · Categories: General

I’ve been fighting with my Windows XP desktops (one virtual, one hardware) for the last ninety minutes – I’ve gotten them to crash, reboot, restart, dump memory and do everything except what I wanted them to do – which was to a) run Outlook and b) run Hummingbird Exceed.

90% of the people in this country run some version of Windows at the office. How in the heck do y’all get anything done?

18. December 2007 · Comments Off on Not just a good idea, it’s the law · Categories: General

Mike Huckabee

I think we ought to be out there talking about ways to reduce energy consumption and waste. And we ought to declare that we will be free of energy consumption in this country within a decade, bold as that is.

Reason commenter ‘de stijl

In this election, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Best .. Response .. Ever.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

18. December 2007 · Comments Off on The Atlantic Ocean – with pasta · Categories: General

Since she had her heart attack we’ve been taking it easy on the salt – not just table salt but reading the ingredients on packaged food with diligence and care. This is what you do if you want to stay alive long enough for Medical Science to come up with a ‘cure heart disease’ pill.

Still – the kids don’t have to follow our diet. Little Monkey asked for this in the store so … why not? Two cans went into the basket.


The snack that bites back . . Now with sea water flavoring!

Older Monkey had a can for lunch today. He ate a bit. Ate a bit more. Made a face . . .

Him: I don’t want this.

Why not?

Him: I’m not .. hungry.

I tried a slurp. Ever gotten a snoot full of salt water at the beach? It tasted like the Atlantic Ocean off the Delaware beach, with pasta. Bleh.

I’ll bet the other can will work out well as broth over the dog’s food.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

12. December 2007 · Comments Off on Child Training · Categories: General

A fellow on his blog asked as an aside

Speaking of which, if anyone has any tips on getting a six-month old baby to stop waking up every two hours at night I’d sure be thankful.

To which one reply was

As far as the baby goes, if you get up and go to him when he cries in the middle of the night, you are encouraging him to cry for attention. It can be difficult but try to let him just cry himself to sleep. It takes a few days / weeks to train him but once you do, your life will be much easier. Promise!

Sweet Jesus on a ferris wheel.

The Drill Instructor
You call yourself a father, Private Pyle!?!

It’s a baby, not a dog. You’re raising a human being not crate training a puppy. He’s not crying for attention you, unremarkable stain, he’s crying because it’s dark and he’s alone and he’s scared. He’s an itty bitty primate and loves to be cuddled and held and sung to.

You want life to be easy? The moment your sperm lanced into her egg it stopped being easy and became a lifetime slog of burps, barf and heartache. The only consolation is to see your children grow up into self-sufficient adults.


This is what it’s all about.

I saw this as no particular expert in anything. I’m not the world’s best father and I frequently fall short of my own expectations in that regard; I have a bad temper, at times I have absolutely no patience with them.

But with all my faults I know that you don’t train babies to lie still and alone in the dark you hold them and love them.

Aside to Daily Brief readers – I had to get this off my chest – thanks for reading. Now back to your regularly scheduled Briefing.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

27. November 2007 · Comments Off on Drill Instructor · Categories: General

Let me tell you about my Senior Drill Instructor.

Throw out your preconceptions; Staff Sergeant King was not R. Lee Ermey, he was not Jack Webb.

What he was was the eptiome of ‘Marine Corps SNCO’. He walked the walk.  He talked the talk. He led by example.

He was the most unusual SDI at MCRD. Platoon 3099 was a herd of non-marching diddy-boppers, going into third phase. This was clearly unacceptable and if we kept it up we’d embarrass ourselves.

How bad were we? At one point SSgt Q. called out a command. First and second squad heard ‘By the Left Flank .. March’.

Third and Fourth squad heard ‘Column Half-Right . . March’

So .. ya. The platoon is rapidly marching away from itself. In front of a brace of Captains and a clutch of Majors and Colonels.  I was in First squad and had a perfect view of SSgt Q’s face. I thought his smokey-the-bear hat was going to pop off from the pressure.

We were pretty bad.

SSgt King brought a metronome in and installed it by the DI Hut, had it on 24×7.  Soon we’re all marching around in time in the barracks. My dreams were in time with a steady ‘click-click-click’.  He borrowed a bass drum from the band and had a pair recruits from the sick, lame and lazy section out beating on it while we drilled.

But they could not carry it around (sick, lame and lazy) so they stood in one place, beating away while we marched around them.

BOOM. BOOM. BOOM …. BOOM
…. BOOM

“FASTER!”

BOOM.BOOM.BOOM .. BOOM .. BOOM

“SLOWER!”

BOOM. BOOM. BOOM .. BOOM .. BOOM

“JUST LIKE THAT!”

I don’t have a lot of fond memories of boot camp – it’s not summer camp – but that scene is one of them. Thanks, SSgt King.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

20. November 2007 · Comments Off on FALCON – America’s newest weapon in the war on everyone else · Categories: General

Intrepid activist Bruce Gagnon bravely writes in from Bushitler’s Amerika to warn us

Each year the Space Command performs a war game set in 2016. In that war game the new military space plane, the Falcon, flies across the planet at six times the speed of sound and delivers 12,000 pound bombs against the “Red” team. Red team means China in Pentagon language.

I do not think that phrase means what you think it does.

In wargaming, the opposing force in a simulated military conflict is known as the Red Team, and is used to reveal weaknesses in current military readiness.

And .. what a new space plane?  How cool. Except, not so much.

The FALCON project includes:

Calling FALCON – a program with 6 vehicles (and one cancelled) in test – a new space plane is stretching the truth a bit.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

20. November 2007 · Comments Off on There will always be an England · Categories: General

I found this note on how the RAF used to arm their nuclear weapons to be charmingly English . . .

Newsnight reveals that RAF nuclear bombs were armed by opening a panel held by two captive screws – like a battery cover on a radio – using a thumbnail or a coin.

Inside are the arming switch and a series of dials which are turned with an allen key to select high yield or low yield, air burst or ground burst and other parameters.

The bomb is actually armed by inserting a cylindrical bicycle lock key into the arming switch and turning it through 90 degrees.

There is no code which needs to be entered or dual key system to prevent a rogue individual from arming the bomb, although RAF crews were supposed to always work in pairs if they were near the bomb or had the keys for the bomb.

Opening up the hatch with a coin – then using an allen wrench (for the love of mike) to adjust the darn thing – and then launching with a bicycle key – is a touch worthy of Monty Phython. Mary Poppins would appreciate the thriftiness demonstrated; Yanks would spend billions on a special key system from Boeing. The Brits just ran down to the hardware store one day and called it good.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

18. November 2007 · Comments Off on So it’s strictly one step at a time for Bangladesh · Categories: General

Bangladesh has been hit by a cyclone

DHAKA, Bangladesh (CNN) — More than 1,000 people have died in Bangladesh after a devastating tropical cyclone ripped through the western coast of the country, and the toll is expected to rise, a government spokesman tells CNN.

15,000 people hurt, 1,000 missing – it will be worse before it gets better. Villages are flattened, wells poisoned by salt water flooding, crops ruined .. ugh. Puts natural disasters in the West in perspective, hunh?

Oh and the fleet will be ashore soon

U.S. military officials said Friday that Defense Secretary Robert Gates was ready to dispatch Navy vessels carrying 3,500 Marines to the region to help in recovery efforts.

It is expected that the USS Kearsarge and USS Wasp would move from the Gulf of Oman. The USS Tarawa recently left Hawaii, and it could go to Bangladesh as well, officials said.

Semper Fi – again. I’m sure the Army barracks we used at the airfield in Dhaka in 1991 are still there, as are the spiffy flush toilets connected to the open sewers.   Watch your step at night, is all I can say – in a country that is pool-table flat the sewage doesn’t flow so much as amble.

Subject line hat tip
Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

14. November 2007 · Comments Off on 232 Reasons Why the Marine Corps Kicks Ass, · Categories: General

232 Reasons Why the Marine Corps Kicks Ass, from the Marine Corps Times.

Cherry picking, we have …

2. Civilians have to find time to go to the gym. Marines get paid to go.

4. There’s no such thing as an “ex” Marine.

8. “Every Marine Into the Fight.”

18. The lance corporal underground.

22. “No better friend, no worse enemy.”

23. Typhoons approaching Okinawa often spark islandwide beer runs

26. 10 rounds from the 500-yard line.

36. Running cadences that mention napalm. And Eskimos.

55. As if ranks that include the words “master” and “gunnery” aren’t intimidating enough on their own, the Corps uses them both. At once.

60. Marines predicted the WWII campaigns in the Pacific years earlier and prepared for the inevitable. So when a Marine says, “Hey, I’ve been thinking .” perhaps you should take notes.

61. Give a Marine some free time, and he’ll rip down your dictator’s statue.

83. Chuck Norris was in the Air Force. Steve McQueen was a Marine.

90. Arty guys who do civil affairs. They blow it up, then they fix it.  Circle of life.

140. Gunnery sergeants. Don’t know the answer? Ask the gunny. Need something? Ask the gunny. In trouble? Avoid the gunny.

153. Shirt stays. Or garters. Whatever you call them, they’re a triple whammy, keeping your shirt tucked, your socks up and removing all that unwanted leg hair.

199. “8th and I.” Ten bucks says you have no idea where the Army chief of staff lives. Commandants don’t hide.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

Via.

01. November 2007 · Comments Off on Y’all cut that out · Categories: General

Professor Barry Sanders* is back with a reply to his critics: “Y’all quit picking on me!”

Kidding. I am sure that Professor Sanders is sophisticated and would never be caught dead throwing ‘y’all’ about in conversation.

His reply does seem a tad whiny. It’s not his fault, you see, because the military operates behind a scrim of secrecy and it’s really difficult to get information out of them. You’d think the military is some kind of bureaucracy or something.

That and people were correcting his mistakes in a way that was not respectful. Shame on y’all. Professor Sanders is from the academic world where people are more polite and don’t call bullshit in such vulgar ways.

Let me begin by saying that this is a new world for me, the world of blogging.

One could be unkind and reply that the world of logic, facts and clean prose is new to him as well.

As a friend told me from the outset, one cannot take on the military in this country, without getting knocked about.

Is there a lot to criticize about the military? Darn right there is. My own beef is not that he is taking on the military but that he did so with a poor logic and ratty data.

As for the Standard, Goldfarb does not like the line, “The USS Lincoln helped deliver the opening salvos and air strikes in Operation Iraqi Freedom.” He says the Lincoln has no “guns.” I took that line from the Navy’s own web site. If I am wrong, the military has it wrong.

Reading comprehension is clearly not Professor Sanders strong suite – the Navy web site doesn’t mention guns but ordnance. Ordnance is typically defined as ‘stuff that goes boom’, but they don’t mention guns. Clearly the Navy is wrong for not being specific and inserting verbage like this

Lincoln delivered a big bunch of boom stuff by airplane. Because that’s what aircraft carriers do.

Or something like that.

He (Goldfarb) claims that only one aircraft carrier is not nuclear powered and so my claim about “ship tracks” is wrong. First, does he not think that nuclear power pollutes, or that no danger exists from an accident? What does he think one should do about spent fuel rods?

The article is titled ‘The Military’s Addiction to Oil’ so the confusion might be understandable. Goldfarb took his argument from the title – if he is wrong, Professor Sanders has it wrong.

The USS Independence did move out to the Gulf in the first Gulf War, in 1991. I mixed up the dates for the two Gulf Wars and inserted the wrong one.

The article centered around current activities and never mentioned a conflict more than a decade in the past. Yet one key point was meant to jump back sixteen years and talk about a now decommissioned ship. Maybe – he’s clearly not the most organized thinker.

Also, I inadvertently left out the word battalion in the sentence, “a pair of Apache helicopter battalions can devour more than 60,000 gallons of fuel in a single night’s attack

The sentence as published was “Just one pair of Apaches in a single night’s raid will consume about 60,000 gallons of jet fuel.”  Ya – inserting battalion in the middle of that makes a whole bunch more sense.  Sure, Ace.  And I am Marie, Queen of Romania.

Let’s now turn to the question of the number of carrier task forces in the Gulf. First, from Reuters: “On January 20, 2007, the USS Stennis set sail for the Persian Gulf as part of an increase in US military presence within the Middle East. The Stennis joined the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower in the United States Fifth Fleet of operations. On May 23, 2007, the Stennis, along with eight other warships including the carrier USS Nimitz and amphibious assault ship USS Bonhomme Richard, passed through the Strait of Hormuz. US Navy officials said it was the largest such move since 2003.”

How many ships does this total? Ten or Twelve? How many “carrier task forces” does that constitute?

This is not difficult – only an academic would make it so. A ‘carrier task force’ requires a carrier.

Now – all of this has a shooting fish in a barrel feel. I wrote this as a follow-up for yesterday’s post out of a sense of obligation and in the hope that by showing people like Professor Sanders he can’t use obfuscation and bad data in his arguments we’ll get honest data and real discussion.

If not we’ll get to make fun of them, which ain’t bad either.

*Take a look at his bio page: the title of two of his books is spelled wrong. I don’t know where the Huffington Post gets this data but one suspects that Professor Barry Sanders lack of attention to detail is to blame.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

31. October 2007 · Comments Off on The Problem with Barry Sanders · Categories: General

Barry Sanders – author, educator and tool – recently took aim at the big green machine, how much fuel it consumes and how wasteful all of this is and how this contributes to global warming. Sort of – it’s hard to work through the thicket of obfuscation and ratty data.

That armored vehicles are fuel hogs and that POL is a huge consumer of logistic assets is not news. Should we work on this? Log officers the world over would love to have a fuel efficient HMMWV – and it would cost a lot less to operate.

Of course this would make our armed forces yet more lethal and efficient at the business of breaking things and killing people so this might not have the end result Mr. Sanders desires. So it goes.

I’d be a poor blogger indeed if I didn’t – along with about eleventy-dozen other bloggers – point out where Mr. Sanders went off the rails.

The Army tries to keep its entire inventory of Abrams tanks up and running in Iraq–all 1,838 of them.

As opposed to just parking say, half of them in a depot. Tanks are heavy fuel eating monsters – I doubt even the Army would ship 1,838 of them to Iraq unless they really needed all of them.

Feeding the appetites of these voracious machines, with gasoline or diesel or kerosene, requires intricate logistical planning and support from some 2,000 trucks, a battery of computers, another 20,000 GIs, and, according to an Associated News report for September 2007, as many as 180,000 workers under federal contracts–more contract workers, in fact, than soldiers. Of the twenty-eight private security companies operating in Iraq, the major ones are Blackwater USA, Triple Canopy, Kellogg, Brown and Root, DynCorp International, and the Vinnell Corporation. The largest of them is not even American, but British, named the Aegis Corporation.

Many of the contract workers are former military Special Forces troops, such as Navy Seals and the Army’s Delta Force.

We jumped – in one paragraph – from talking about logistics to talking about trigger pullers. Rangers and SEALs might be able to handle fuel and logistics but they probably wouldn’t sign up for that job. But hey – logistics is boring and Blackwater and their fellow contractors are hot hot hot.

What contractors have to do with fuel and global warming … I have no idea.

He (Erik Prince – Blackwater) intends to expand into a “full spectrum” defense contractor, offering “one-stop shopping” for anything and everything the military might need, from unmanned planes to tanks and ammunition.

Lousy running-dog capitalist.

On its way to the Persian Gulf in 2002, a trip that took fourteen days, the Independence went through two million gallons of fuel.

Independence was decommissioned in 1998. For a ship laid up at the yard I’d say that’s pretty good fuel consumption.

Already sitting in the Gulf were ten other “Carrier Task Forces” built around the aircraft carriers Kitty Hawk, Constellation, Enterprise, John F. Kennedy, Chester W. Nimitz, Carl Vinson, Theodore Roosevelt, George Washington, Harry S. Truman, and the Abraham Lincoln.

And this happened when? Twelve carriers in the Gulf at the same time? You could walk from one side to the other on the flight decks.

The USS Abraham Lincoln, familiar to us as the ship on whose deck President Bush declared to the nation, on May 2, 2003,”Mission Accomplished,”

Huffington Post Style Guide Rule 12: at least one obligatory slam against President Bush per post. No exceptions.

The USS Lincoln helped deliver the opening salvos and air strikes in Operation Iraqi Freedom. From March 2003 until mid-April of that same year, during its deployment in the Gulf, the Navy launched 16,500 sorties from its deck, and fired 1.6 million pounds of ordnance from its guns.

This was after her refit when the Navy mounted two turrets from the USS New Jersey on her flight deck, aft of the island, creating the first carrier-battleship hybrid. Next year they’re going to put wheels on her so the Navy can drive around on land like the Army.

Just one pair of Apaches in a single night’s raid will consume about 60,000 gallons of jet fuel.

This is the famous Whale variant that carries a 30,000 gallon external fuel tank.

Any of the large helicopters–the Sea Stallion, Super Stallion, Sea Dragon, or Pave Low III–sucks up five gallons every mile.

Surely this isn’t because the referenced models are, essentially, the same machine with different hardware and missions?

With its afterburners fired up, the F-16 Fighter Jet uses 800 gallons per hour, the F-15 about 1,580 gallons per hour.

Frick: Captain you’re using up 800 gallons per hour on afterburner! Frak: That’s ok, Colonel, I’m not going to be flying that long.

More dramatically, the F-4 Phantom Fighter

Do we even FLY these any more?

To keep the B-52 or F-111 in the air for extended periods of time requires in-flight re-fueling. Even though the B-52H holds an enormous 47,975 gallons of fuel, it requires mid-air refueling.

You’re repeating yourself. Someone call an editor for Mr. Sanders!

That’s the job of the aerial refueling tankers, the KC-10, which burns 2,050 gallons per hour, and the larger KC-135 Stratotanker, which itself carries 31,275 US gallons of fuel, and sucks up an impressive 2,650 gallons per hour; and the KC-10.

He’s doing it again – where is that damned editor!

We can assume, with confidence, however, that those bases run through a considerable number of barrels of fuel.

You know what they say when you assume …

The only way I know how to make military pollution in any way tangible here is through numbers,

It would help if you would use correct numbers when you have them available.

It’s not that his argument has no merit – it’s that it’s hard to take a fellow seriously who make mistakes with his basic facts and figures. What else is hiding in his prose? What else is he fudging or obscuring? If he’s dishonest he’s not worth reading. If he’s just dumb he’s fair game for mockery – and also not worth reading.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

29. October 2007 · Comments Off on AFP’s caption generator goes hawire · Categories: General

AFP’s caption generator goes on the fritz, hilarity ensues.
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A US airman with a machine gun in Indian Springs. Burglars in the United States could once sue homeowners if they were shot, but now a growing number of states have made it legal to shoot to kill when somebody breaks into a house(AFP/Getty Images/File/Ethan Millar)

Next up – a story by AFP about the growing tend of homeowners to utilize M60s and claymore mines for deliberate ambush in their front yards.

Cross posted to Space For Commerce.

11. October 2007 · Comments Off on Carnival of Space for Thursday, October 11, 2007 · Categories: General

The Carnival of Space for Thursday, October 11, 2007 is up.