Michele is still live-blogging Idol if you care to join in the snarky fun. You’ve got about 5 minutes.
I do wish she’d go back to blogging. I miss her.
If you could have your choice of a 100 pt. vintage Austin Healey 100-6 (or 3000 mk. 1), or a new Caterham 7 CSR, what would it be?
Tom: “I don’t need no goddamn shotgun to give you a heart attack.”
Since my last effort was deemed by the cartoon cricket that lives in my head to be too tasteless due to a silent heart attack, (wussy cricket) and also because the media is practically ignoring the fact that former VP Al Gore trashed our country for money over the weekend, I offer this as a humble substitue.
Winners Friday Morning.
Other Bloggy Caption Fun:
Hedline from CNN’s main page, 1500 Central.
Are you sure it was because of the cartoons and not because some hash-baked kid stopped listening to Islamo-trip-hop long enough to screech, “I’m sooooooooooo baked and this crap still tastes like…CRAP! The Colonel, the Clown and Pizza the Hut must DIE”?
Or maybe someone figured out there was no way in hell that stuff was halal.
Special Edition. Winners on Thursday.
Other Bloggy Caption Fun:
I’m suspending this one due to the minor heart attack suffered by Mr. Whittington (the gentleman VP Cheney accidently shot).
Fun’s fun, but this has turned a bit more serious than I expected so…come back Friday for our regular captioning fun.
The White House press briefing today was some of the best comedy I’ve seen in a long while, with the best question coming from some female journalist who inquired as to whether the V.P. was considering resignation after the hunting accident this past weekend. A close runner up was the question, repeated more than a few times, of when exactly did the president know that Cheney was (and I quote) “the shooter”.
Well, let me set the record straight. There wasn’t a covey of Quayles, er, I mean quails. The place was thick with illegal immigrants. While Cheney was drawing down on them with a 28 gauge shotgun loaded with deadly number 7 ½ shot, their ACLU lawyer jumped out of brush with some sort of legal papers. Cheney froze, as the lawyer stood with the sun at his back and the eerie sound of the theme from the good, the bad and the ugly entrancing the entire hunting party. Just then, a shot rang out from the nearby grassy knoll and the lawyer went down.
Later, on the way back to the ranch, they came across John Kerry, bedecked in the most manly of hunting attire. He claimed to have bagged a trophy Quayle, I mean quail, but everyone but the Washington press corps checked the total bird body count and concluded that Kerry missed.
The president was wise enough to not comment on the ensuing fray because, once again, the CIA got it wrong about the presence and location of Quayles, I mean quails, that led to the hunting trip in the first place. Had it not been for the NSA wiretapping of the local game warden, the whole incident would never been exposed to the light of day. As I post this dispatch, Hillary is working herself into a righteous indignation while Bill is eyeing the cleaning lady while quietly singing to himself “… I ain’t nothin’ but a bird dog… “.
There, you now know what really happened.
Radar
1. DemoMan: “Oh, and ME? Um, haha, I’m wearing a tactical load bearing vest, a kevlar helmet, an M-4–wait, this won’t show up on my regular phone bill, right?”
2. Cpt Loggie: “yes dear, uh huh, yes dear, yes dear, no dear….yes dear, now thats one loaf of bread and one gallon of milk….yes dear……”
3. Seadog: “Can you hear me now?”
Honorable Mention because I never would have gone there:
Sgt Mom: “Lady, I want ya t’ believe me, when I tell ya this ain’t the $#&*@!! Victoria’s Secret!!!”
Subject: VP Cheney’s Hunting Accident
Look, you don’t want to know what the President knew and when he knew it, you want to know how come you all weren’t told right away.
I wasn’t even there and right off the top of my head my reaction is, “Oh I don’t know, perhaps folks were more concerned with the gentleman that was peppered with a 20 gauge than alerting the media.” I’m not a gun nut and even I know that while birdshot isn’t life threatening, it stings like a mother (hush my mouth).
Did the VP have a hunting license? Oh for-the-love-of-Mohammed-on-a-MoPed, who freaking cares?!
I can’t help but think that 20-30 years ago, this story would have been an interesting aside on the evening news at best.
Best thing I’ve heard so far: “I’d still rather go hunting with Vice President Cheney than go driving with Senator Kenedy.” Attributed to Rush Limbaugh…but still funny.
Interesting quote from an Air Force Retiree News Service story today (“DoD proposes Tricare hikes for younger military retirees”):
When the Tricare health care program for active duty and retired military members and their families was established in 1995, retirees then were contributing about 27 percent of the cost of their benefit, Dr. William Winkenwerder Jr., the assistant secretary of defense for health affairs, said during an interview with Pentagon Channel and American Forces Press Service reporters at the Pentagon.
However, military health care costs doubled from $19 billion in 2001 to just over $37 billion in the 2006 defense budget, Winkenwerder said. And today’s average military retiree contribution for health care coverage has dropped to about 10 to 12 percent, he said.
“Their contribution did not change, while the value of the benefit continued to rise,” Winkenwerder said. If approved by Congress and signed off by the president, the proposed Tricare rate hikes for retirees under age 65 would be phased in over fiscal 2007 and 2008. That should bring up younger retirees’ share of Tricare costs closer to the 1995 level, he said.
(emphasis mine)
Does he think we’re stupid? Anyone remember what the cost of health care was for retirees
For more information, see Timmer’s post here.
(U.S. Air Force photo by Capt. James Bressendorff)
Paul’s made me chuckle: “Despite his heroic efforts, SSgt. Toynbee was unable to resuscitate the fallen sandbag. ”
DemoMan wins the Geeky Obscure Star Trek Reference Award (GOSTRA!) with: “Ugly bag of mostly water experiments with pre-warp era disrupter technology.”
Amusingly, that lugubrious old talking prune, NPR’s Daniel Shorr was coming out on the side of being all sensitive and being responsible about “using the power of the press” as regards the Matter of the Danish Cartoons. (Doesn’t that sound like a very dull Sherlock Holmes adventure, or the worst name for a war since the “War of Jenkins’ Ear”?) Just like the pet professor of international relations whom my local paper keeps on hand to drivel on about the Moslem world and international relations, and how the US must…must…zzzzz… oh, sorry. Dozed off there for a moment. I do that when reading the gentleman’s editorials, but so do probably most of his students.
Anyway, predictable, dull, predictable… oops, did I say that already? Anyway, both these prize examples of overpaid old media had pretty much the same take… the cartoons were horrible! Vile! Insulting! And the major media had done a Good Thing by not putting them out in front of us proles so we could make up our own mind… which is that they are only a little more tame than a Dick and Jane grade school reader. Poor, innocent and clueless Mr. Shorr also alledged that said cartoons were very difficult to find and view… at which statement I can only shake my head in pity and hope that someone in the NPR studio will either enlighten him about this internet and search engine thingy, or hand him a box of Kleenex to wipe off the senile drool.
And besides, if the Danish Cartoons were the far end in vile insult to Islam in general, then a great many parties are in for a most awful shock. Oh, yes, in accordance with my call to comic arms of several years ago, we have just begun to take the piss, point the finger, and laugh, laugh, laugh.
(The Dutch website would, of course be far more amusing to those who actually can speak Dutch, but some of the entries are in English… and some of them are quite understandible, as well as being not work-safe, in the strict meaning of the word. I really have to admire the mad Photoshop skilz, though. Thanks to Rantburg and Silent Running, and the Instapundit, whose thunderous tread shakes the whole blog-world.)
Well…this is about as exciting as the first half. And they’re singing the Windows Commercial.
People actually spend money to watch these guys?
(U.S. Air Force photo by Capt. James Bressendorff)
I’m going to stick with a military theme from here on out so if you see a good one, please send me a link.
Winners Monday.
More Bloggy Caption Fun:
Wizbang
Outside the Beltway
Anyone who runs into Chris Muir, please buy him a beer for me…a good one, don’t be cheap.
That just goes so well with Mom’s post below.
…it shortened a horrific American Idol by an hour.
And yes, I’m saying this BEFORE the speech.
Update: Okay, not a bad speech all in all. Beautiful Wife loved Laura looking at him mouthing, “Thanks Babe.”
The winner and clearly a man after my own … heart is:
SFC B with: “Laura Bush prepares to demonstrate how her third date with George ended.”
Hey, you want better quality captions, play the game.
Couldn’t help it, had to do it:
Winner(s) Monday.
Other Caption Blogginess:
Wizbang
Outside the Beltway
Stuck on Stupid
CLOSED. Play next time.
Three reasons * to watch “My Name is Earl”
1. It’s the ultimate in raunchy, coarse, politically incorrect and insensitivity on broadcast TV…
2. The protagonist is neither a doctor, cop or lawyer…
3. It’s funny, and doesn’t feel the need to wallop the audience over the head with a laugh-track.
* So that adds up to more than three reasons, depending on how you count. This here blog is not the New York Times.
1. President Bush relives his last debate with John Kerry. Rodney Dill.
And ya give me more than 10 next time, I’ll give ya more than one winner.
Other Captioning Silliness:
Wizbang
It Comes In Pints?
Outside the Beltway.
If you’re doing caption fun, email me or trackback.
I guess I’ll go through and pick the “best of” on Sunday Night/Monday Morning.
Over at It Comes In Pints.
Curse you Ken Summers.
Warning. Extreme screen and keyboard damage is probable. Remove all liquid from your immediate vicinity.
Comments closed do to idjits (Robin’s back Mom) giving away the punchline.
Let’s look at the official response from the good reverend’s website:
ISRAEL
Robertson Spokesperson Addresses Comments Made by Pat Robertson Regarding Ariel Sharon
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA., January 5, 2006—Pat Robertson expresses his deep sadness over Ariel Sharon’s life threatening stroke and concern for Israel’s future security.
On The 700 Club broadcast this morning Robertson said he has met with Sharon at significant times and considers him a friend. Robertson, an ordained minister and bible teacher, has been a life long supporter of Israel and has continually expressed grave concern over dividing the land of Israel. Robertson pointed to the book of Joel in the Old Testament to show a biblical perspective of God’s view of Israel and efforts made from people who try to divide God’s land:
“In the book of Joel, the prophet Joel makes it very clear that God has ‘enmity against those who divide My land.’ God considers this land to be His. When you read the Bible, He said this is my land. For any Prime Minister of Israel who decides he will carve it up and give it away, God said, “No, this is Mine.”
According to his spokesperson, Angell Watts, Robertson is simply reminding his viewers what the Bible has to say about efforts made to divide the land of Israel.
She also expressed Dr. Robertson’s outrage at People for the American Way, who have a clear left-wing political agenda and who, on an ongoing basis, lift his comments out of context and widely circulate them in an attempt to discredit him.
Okay, so because a book that was composed around 400 B.C. says that the Hebrew God doesn’t like anyone carving up His backyard, somehow this is explanation for what’s happened to the Prime Minister of Israel? Nothing personal, the Bible says it. Oh, and because it’s a liberal group pointing out that this bullshit is bullshit, we’re supposed to be mad at THEM instead.
The Reverend Robertson’s dogma has been run over by his kharma…again.
A lengthy, but essential post from James Waterton at Samizdata:
I believe that the Chinese banking sector’s dire straits constitute the gravest threat to global stability in the coming years. The Chinese government is always harping on about its “deepening” banking and state-owned industrial enterprise reforms, and this is a mantra is being repeated across the world. Unfortunately, the Chinese state is so opaque that it’s impossible to verify the veracity of such claims, and the unrealistic numbers being thrown at us by the Communist party (like the drop of NPLs from 25% to 12% in less than five years) and the shonky juggling of bad debt from one insolvent bank to another woefully undercapitalised holding company do not inspire much confidence in the nature of the reforms. Frankly, I believe the banking sector is too far gone to reform without collapse. In international terms, the crisis in the Chinese banks and SOEs is an elephant that stands in the middle of the room, but everyone is either perceiving it as a mouse or trying to pass it off as a mouse. I believe the Australian government is in the latter category, as are a great many others around the world.
I have been cautioning against this for years – urging those interested in “emerging markets” to look to the more stable and liberalized nations of Ireland and Eastern Europe. The Chinese economy is as flimsy as rice paper. This is akin to Japan in the late ’80s, but far worse. Japan has a substantially free market. The free market in China is a sham.
It positively escapes me why such normally intelligent libertarian investment advisors as Capitalist Pig’s Jonathan Hoenig have been so bullish on China.
Mentioned only tangentially by James in this article is the fact that, while their holding have been greatly reduced this past decade, the Red Army is an economic entity unto itself. If the domestic financial situation takes a sour turn, it may feel the need to engage in foreign adventurism – particularly if it could be “profitable”. Ownership of the Spratly Islands in the South China Sea have long been a point of contention
“Without going to the Spratly (Nansha) Islands, you would not know the magnitude of the threat and challenge to China’s maritime territory and interests” – People’s Liberation Army Daily reporter
Oil and Gas reserves in the region are unknown, but suspected. If the Red Army suddenly becomes unable to supply its fuel needs due to an economic downturn, the pressure to secure control of the region will increase greatly.
As James makes quite clear, even if no blood is shed as a result of the Chinese bubble bursting. the global economic effects would be harsh. Australia (James’ homeland) would be particularly hard hit, as much of it’s economy revolves around supplying China with raw materials.
I know I’ve been quiet. It’s been one of those weeks where I’ve started to write on this or that or the other thing and just couldn’t get myself to publish any of it. I saw Ken grab ahold of this meme and figured why not? No tags. You’re all it.
Four jobs you’ve had in your life: 1. Mover. 2. Hot tar roofer. 3. Chemical Engineer and Mass Developer (Color Prints) for a Commercial Photo Lab. (Remember those lovely photos you had taken in school?) 4. Bartender. (And those were the GOOD jobs I had before I joined the Air Force.)
Four movies you could watch over and over: 1. Silverado. 2. Mickey One. 3. Angels With Dirty Faces. 4. The Last Waltz.
Four books you could read again and again: 1. LOTR. 2. Time Enough for Love. 3. The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. 4. The Tao of Pooh.
Four places you’ve lived: 1. Chicago IL. 2. Ramstein Germany. 3. Anchorage AK. 4. Honolulu HI.
Four TV shows you love to watch: 1. Battlestar Galactica. 2. American Idol. 3. Grey’s Anatomy. 4. Two and a Half Men.
Four places you’ve been on vacation: 1. New York NY. 2. Silver Dollar City Arkansas. 3. New Orleans LA. 4. Disneyland.
Four websites you visit daily: 1. Day By Day. 2. Protein Wisdom. 3. It Comes In Pints?. 4. Deviant Art. But there a a LOT more I manage to hit daily.
Four of your favorite foods: 1. BBQ Ribs. 2. Steak. 3. Gyros. 4. Kim Bop.
Four places you’d rather be: 1. North Shore of Oahu. 2. West Shore of Maui. 3. Kenai Alaska. 4. Lincoln Park, Chicago IL.
Four albums you can’t live without: 1. Dark Side of the Moon. 2. Soundtrack from Dazed and Confused. 3. Physical Graffiti . 4. Homebrewed.
But four is nowhere near enough.
Ever get one of those words in your head that just won’t go away? Or a tune that keeps on running through your head, and you can’t banish it no matter how hard you try? This long word did it for me. After seeing the GEICO Insurance commercial with the word in it for several thousand times, I just had to know what it meant. Yep. It’s a real word, for sure. A noun, the meaning is that it is a nothing word. Each element of the word has a meaning of nothing, or intense triviality. This leads to the word meaning something of really low importance, or low/no use. That gives floccinaucinihilipilification a humorous overall meaning in the context of the commercial and the product they are trying to sell. I really got a good laugh out of it when I looked it up in an online dictionary.
So there! Getting the new year off to a rousing, “my head hurts” post, we who are about to go back to bed salute you!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!