02. August 2006 · Comments Off on I’m really not that squeamish… · Categories: General, Memoir, Pajama Game

But then again, I’ve always had a problem with rats. It probably stems from the early-mid 1970s, when we moved to our house in the country. Before we built the house on our land, it had been a soybean field. In fact, when they were digging the basement, there were still soybeans around the edge of the field, left over from harvest, available for anyone to glean, or for the wild critters to add them to their winter stockpiles.

We built a large house – I’m hazy on the square footage, as I was only 12-13 when we were first planning it, but thanks to the internet I can confidently declare that it was over 3900 sq ft (I’m sure that includes the full basement), with 8 rooms, 4 of which were bedrooms, and 2.5 bathrooms, with an attached 2-car garage. Our dream house, this was supposed to be, but it quickly became the nightmare instead. But that’s another story, full of unfulfilled dreams, broken health, and failing finances.

This story is about rats. BIG rats. Field rats, that looked to be 12 inches long BEFORE adding in the length of their tail. The soybean field was THEIR home, and we dared to intrude. Normally, in a well-built house (which ours was), that wouldn’t be a problem. Why be normal?

In October 1974, our house was still just a shell. In a stroke of brilliance, we had had the house company build the parts that had to be inspected, and planned to finish the rest of it ourselves, leisurely over the winter and early springtime, always sparing time to work in the half-acre garden that would provide us with delicious fruits and veggies over the summer and the coming winter. So when the shell was finished, with the roof shingled, and electric boxes peeking at us from the bare studs, and an extension ladder serving as the basement staircase, we gathered our friends and family and began finishing out the house. My dad was a truck-driver, and instead of working 70 hour weeks, he chose to only work 40-50, so we could spend as much time as possible working on the house.

In February, the shell looked more like a house, but was still without plumbing, electricity, or sheet-rock. We needed to wait for spring to drill the well, as I recall, once the dowser found the proper place for it. And the septic tank still needed to be installed, once we knew where the well would be. Even so, we knew it was coming together nicely, and we knew that older houses such as the one we were living in took longer to sell, so we put our 1930’s city home on the market.

Imagine my parents’ shock when a nice family viewed it during an open house, and made an offer on it within a matter of days. They offered us $100 over our asking price, and wanted to close on it by the end of Feb. Early March at the latest. More »

13. July 2006 · Comments Off on Stolen Kisses at the Skylark · Categories: Air Force, General, Memoir, Military, Pajama Game

There has always been this stereotype of the women’s services as a stronghold of lesbians; and there might, I say just might sometime in the distant past, have had some validity to this stereotype, depending on the times and in some places. There was a gay activist I recollect reading some years ago, who insisted that 100% of the women in the WWII services were lesbian, a dubious factoid that may come as a considerable surprise to male veterans of that era, especially those who romanced and/or married a pretty nurse, typist or vehicle driver whom they met whilst both were in uniform. I would tend to agree that during the long decades after WWII when female service members were forbidden to marry or have children, those women who decided to devote themselves to a military career may possibly have contained a slightly higher proportion of those whose amours were of the Sapphic variety… or possibly just unenthusiastically heterosexual.

In my own service, I was acquainted with a bare handful of women who I would not have been surprised to learn that they were gay… frankly, I preferred not to know, and refrained from speculating, lest I ever be hauled up before the local AFOSI and asked point-blank and asked to choose between either lying outright, or narking out a friend. And the services did embark on those lesbian hunts, vigorously, thoroughly and with every evidence of keen enjoyment. A number of my female mid-rank and senior NCO friends all thoughtfully agreed during the early days of the Clinton administration, that “don’t ask-don’t tell” banished that particular nightmare for us. Frankly, I was surprised as hell that I was never accused of being a lesbian— there certainly were people that hated my guts and took note of my conspicuously unmarried state. I can only suppose I was saved by my notorious disinterest and demonstrated incompetence at any sort of organized team sports.

It would be my personal, scientific wild-ass-guess that the lesbian proportion among women serving in the US Armed Forces these days is no more than the representation in the general population— and that would be the 3% that is the small “c” conservative estimation. It may even be less than that, actually. I’d be basing this on the admittedly anecdotal experience of basic training, and a good few years of living in the barracks, where there are no secrets. Let me reiterate: thanks to thin walls, shared rooms and gang latrines, there are damn few secrets in a military barracks, least of all about ones’ sex life.

And for Air Force basic military training, about the only thing the women in my training flight had in common aside from XX chromosomes and a taste for adventure, was some kind of interest in the male of our species, ranging from the intense to the mildly intellectually curious. (Or as my daughter would put it; “strictly dickly”.) Guys, guys and only guys; and watching the other girls put on full-date makeup, carefully arranged hairstyles, and most perfectly arranged Class-A uniforms on the occasion we were allowed to go down to the training-side BX annex… on liberty… by ourselves (or in pairs, anyway) for the period of one hour to purchase such small personal items as toothpaste and deodorant was sufficient to convince me of that. Other girls in the flight became ostentatiously and suddenly religious… because we could go to services on Sunday, and at least sit in adjacent pews. As we advanced in training, we were permitted certain periods of base liberty, to frolic chastely and pursue and be pursued in such venues as the bowling alley, the library, the BX annex and snack bar, and the Skylark Recreation Center.

Prior to being allowed such dizzying freedoms, we were given a stern lecture about the guys… well, those that we would be encountering. Not the usual common or garden American guys, though. There would be foreigners… with strange and potentially alluring ways. Or maybe not, since there were some very, very different cultural differences involved.

Lackland AFB was, and still is a major military training center for more than just Air Force basic. The AF security police tech school, and the basic officer training course were there…. And there was some kind of tech school training course for foreign military enlistees, distinctive by their somewhat colorful uniforms and occasionally very crude behavior in formation and out of it. Our TI, Sgt. Petre, kept an admirable poker face when she gave us the lecture; no, some of the strange stories we would hear about the Saudi Arabian and Iranian students were absolutely not true. They were strangers in a strange land, and we should be polite, of course, but we should keep in mind that as far as cultural mores went, as military women we would be even stranger to them. And we should be careful about giving any encouragement, because the gentlemen trainees from Saudi and Iran had a tendency to assume a great deal from it. Sgt Petre told us about a female trainee who collected such a single-minded and persistent admirer that he was camped out on the sidewalk in front of the squadron training building waiting for her every time her flight had base liberty, which so rattled the poor girl that she stopped leaving the building at all.

(to be continued)

11. May 2006 · Comments Off on Plundered · Categories: General, History, Memoir, Pajama Game

A number of summers ago, when I was still stationed in Spain, I packed up my daughter, and a tent and all the necessary gear, and did a long looping camping tour of the southern part of Spain, down through the Extremadura, and to the rock of Gib al Tarik, and a long leisurely drive along the Golden Coast� I had driven from Sevilla, past the sherry-manufacturies around Jerez La Frontera (on a Sunday, so they were closed, although the Harvey�s people should have given me a freebie on general principals, I had sipped enough of their stuff, over the years), made a pit stop at the Rota naval base for laundry and groceries. I had driven into Gibraltar, done a tour of the historic gun galleries, seen the famous Gibraltar apes, and then waited in the long customs line to come back into Spain. We had even stopped at the Most Disgusting Public Loo on the face of the earth, at a gas station outside of San Roque, before following the road signs along the coastal road towards Malaga and Motril, and our turn-off, the road that climbed steadily higher into the mountains, the tall mountains that guarded the fortress city of Granada, and the fragile fairy-tale pavilions of the Alhambra.

The road followed the coastline, for the most part, sweeping through towns like Estepona and Marbella as the main thoroughfare, always the dark blue Mediterranean on the right, running wide of the open beaches, hugging the headlands, with new condos and little towns shaded by palm and olive trees, splashed with the brilliant colors of bougainvillea, interspersed with the sage-green scrublands. The traffic was light enough along the coastal road, and I began to notice a certain trend in place names; Torre de Calahonda� Torremolinos, Torre del Mar, Torrenueva� and to notice that most of the tall headlands, rearing up to the left of the road, were topped by a (usually) ruinous stone watchtower. Forever and brokenly looking out to the sea, and a danger that might come from there, a danger of such permanence as to justify the building of many strong towers, to guard the little towns, and the inlets where fisher-folk would beach their boats and mend their nets.

This rich and lovely coast was scourged for centuries by corsairs who swept in from the sea, peacetime and wartime all alike, savage raiders with swords and torches and chains, who came to burn and pillage� not just the portable riches of gold, or silver, but those human folk who had a cold, hard cash value along the Barbary Coast, in the slave markets of Algiers and Sale. It was a scourge of such magnitude that came close to emptying out the coastal districts all along the Spanish, French and Italian coasts, and even reached insolently into Cornwall, Wales, Ireland and Iceland. The raiders from the port of Sale (present-day Morocco) grew fabulously wealthy form their expertise in capturing and trafficking in captured Christians from all across coastal villages in Western Europe, and from ships� crews taken in the Mediterranean and the coastal Atlantic waters. This desperate state of affairs lasted into the early 19th century, until the power and reach of the Barbary slave-raiders was decisively broken. For three hundred years, though, families all along this coast and elsewhere must have risen up from bed every morning knowing that by the end of the day they and or their loved ones might very well be in chains, on their way to the slave markets across the water, free no longer, but a market commodity.

This kind of life-knowledge is out of living memory along that golden Spanish coast, but it is within nearly touchable distance in Texas and other parts of the American West, where my own parent�s generation, as children in the Twenties and Thirties would have known elderly men and women who remembered the frontier� not out of movies, or from television, but as children themselves, first-hand and with that particular vividness of sight that children have, all that adventure, and danger, privation and beauty, the triumph of building a successful life and community out of nothing more than homesteaded land and hard work.

There was no chain of watchtowers in the harsh and open borderlands, watching over far-scattered settlements and little towns, and lonely ranches in a country never entirely at peace, but not absolutely at war. The southwestern tribes, Comanche, Apache and their allies roamed as they wished, a wild and free life, hunting what they wanted, raiding when they felt like it, and could get away with it. Sometimes, it was just a coarse game, to frighten the settlers, to watch a settler family run for the shelter of their rickety cabin, fumbling for a weapon with shaking hands, children sheltering behind their parents like chicks�. But all too often, for all too many homesteading and ranching families, it ended with the cabin looted and burned, the adults and small children butchered in the cruelest fashion, stripped and scalped.

And the cruelest cut of all, to survivors of such raids in Texas and the borderlands, was that children of a certain age— not too young to be a burden, not too old to be un-malleable (aged about seven to twelve, usually) were carried away, and adopted into the tribes. Over months and years, such children adapted to that life so completely that even when they were ransomed back, and brought home, they never entirely fitted in to a life that seemed like a cage. They had been taken as children, returned as teenagers or adults, to an alien life, to parents and family they could no longer see as theirs. Some of them pined away after their return, like the most famous of them, Cynthia Ann Parker, others returned to their Indian families. For parents of these lost children, that must have been so cruel, to lose a much-loved child not just once, but to finally get them back, and then to discover that they were no longer yours, they had not been a slave, in captivity, but that they longed to be away, roving the open lands as free as a bird.

(The connection between these two topics is that I was reading Giles Milton�s �White Gold�, and Scott Zesch�s �Captured� at more or less the same time.)

28. March 2006 · Comments Off on New SuperCuts Commercial · Categories: Memoir, Military, That's Entertainment!

ROTFL A new SuperCuts commercial typifies their competitors with this haircutting automoton saying (in a mechanical voice) “how about a number 2… number 2… number 2…” This has got to be a crack-up, at least to guys who served in my day. The “number 2”, named for the clipper guard they put on just before they shear you like a sheep, leaves you with about as much hair as a “Pinger”, right out of Basic.

26. March 2006 · Comments Off on The Fantasy Country · Categories: European Disunion, General, History, Memoir, Pajama Game

With a bit of surprise, I tallied it up today, and realized it has been slightly over 20 years since I was in France, actually, driving across Europe in the VEV (Very Elderly Volvo) with a nearly-5-year old Blondie tucked up in the back seat with a couple of pillows, the tattered striped baby blanket that was her woobie for more years than she is comfortable admitting and a stock of Asterix and Obelix comics. I took a zig-zaggy course across Europe in the autumn of 1985; the car-ferry from Patras to Brindisi, then up the boot of Italy, over the Brenner Pass, across the narrow neck of Austria, west across Germany with a stop in the Rhineland and a charming small town along the Moselle – and because the major roads across France were toll-roads, and (to me) hideously expensive, I went across France entirely on secondary roads, guided by my invaluable road atlas, the Hallwag Euroguide.

I hit a couple of places in France that I had visited 15 years before, as a teen-aged Girl Scout on a sub-budget, Youth-Hostel & Eurail-Pass tour of Europe, and a great many more that I had not, thanks to a slightly higher expenditure allowance (the going rate for the Youth Hostel & Eurail Pass summer vacation trip in 1970, which now seems as far distant as the proud tower of pre-WW1 Europe, was $5.00 a day.)
England— halfway home, deja-vu familiar, Germany— slight distrust, being an enemy and the land of Mordor, metaphorically speaking, for two generations, but won over by overall tidiness and devotion to children .Italy— charming, slapdash and slightly grubby. But France—there was ambivalence.

France meant so much to us, after all, and not just when it came to cooking, and an appreciation for fine food and wines. It meant marvelous architecture and interior decoration, translated into the American landscape, gallery after gallery of paintings, the Impressionists and Moderns and all. France was Monet’s Gardens, salons filled with witty conversation, the fountain of elegance in couture clothing, Madeline and the old House in Paris Covered in Vines, Chartres and the soaring galleries of the Louvre. France was the very last word in sophistication. It was where our aspiring artists and intellectuals went to acquire their training and polish, and American tourists tried for a bit of the same— although always with a feeling that such heights of worldly savoir-faire were well beyond them — and being pretty certain that the headwaiters were laughing at them anyway.

France was my collection of cookbooks, and Peter Mayle in Provence, Van Gogh’s fields of sunflowers, Chartres floating like a stone ship in a field of golden wheat, me negotiating country roads and traffic circles in tiny towns, and Blondie’s Asterix and Obelix comics. It was buying a copper pudding mold at Dillerhain, and carrying a heavy box packed full of porcelain cooking things on packed subway train car, and watching a street musician plug his electric guitar onto a portable amp, play some fast boogie-woogie, pass the hat and dash off at the next stop. France was also fields of lavender in Provence, and fields of crosses in Flanders and Normandy. We had a history with France, after all.

It’s been an on-again, off-again history at that, more troubled than most Francophiles like to admit. France is usually visualized— starting with Henry James– as the elusive and mercurial girlfriend, but it strikes me these days that France is more like an erratic and long-time occasional boyfriend. Most women have had a brush with that sort: the guy who swoops in and sweeps her off her feet, because he is attractive, and lots of fun, sometimes handsome, always cultured, at home in the world. It never lasts, because he starts to make her feel lumpish and homely by tactlessly criticizing her clothes, or preference in books and friends. Or he is denigrating her in front of his friends, laughing at her behind her back, even while he helps himself to anything he pleases of hers. And then he borrows a lot of money— never repaid— or throws a horrendous scene in a public place, and is off again for a good long time, leaving her furious and embarrassed, and wondering if he really some sort of sociopath after all. Eventually, after a couple of rounds of this, she deletes his phone number, and doesn’t answer his messages.

Which is by way of leading up to these essays written over the last half-decade or so, by an American medievalist, fluent in French, who visits often. They make depressing reading; and I look at my collection of cookbooks, and memoirs by people like Peter Mayle, and wonder if that France, of vineyards and old houses, and cafes full of charming people talking about art and history is now a fantasy itself.

21. February 2006 · Comments Off on My Old AF Buddy Just Paid… · Categories: Memoir, My Head Hurts

… $1226.00 for an old frickin’ Valiant we would have considered a $100 “beater” back when we were stationed together at Castle.

I, I, I’m just flumixxed – I can’t wrap my head around it.

20. February 2006 · Comments Off on The Ancient Lore of My People: Granny Clarke · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, Eat, Drink and be Merry, General, Memoir, Pajama Game

Granny Clarke was the mother of my mothers’ dearest friend from the time that JP and I were small children, from that time before Pippy was born, and my parents were living in a tiny rented cottage in the hills part of Beverly Hills… a house on a dirt road, with the surrounding area abundant in nothing much else but chaparral, eucalypts and rattlesnakes. Mom and her friend, who was eventually of such closeness that we called her “Auntie Mary” met when Mom began to attend services at a Lutheran congregation in West Hollywood, rather than endure the long drive to Pasadena and the ancestral congregation at Trinity Lutheran in Pasadena.

Auntie Mary Hammond was a little older than Mom, with four sons, each more strapping than the other, in spite of Auntie Mary’s wistful hopes for one of them to have been a girl. The oldest were teenagers, the youngest slightly younger than JP… although Paulie was as large and boisterous as his older brothers and appeared to be more my contemporary. They lived all together with Auntie Mary Hammonds’ mother, Granny Clarke, in a townhouse in West Hollywood, an intriguing house built on a steeply sloping street, up a flight of stairs from the concrete sidewalk, with only a tiny garden at one side, and the constant background noise and bustle of the city all around, not the quiet wilderness of the hills, which JP and I were more used to. But there was one thing we had in common with Paulie and his brothers— an immigrant grandparent with a curious accent and a long career in domestic service in Southern California.

It is a little known curiosity, outside Southern California (and maybe a surprise to even those inside it, in this modern day) that there was once a thriving and very cohesive British ex-pat community there; one that revolved around the twin suns of the old and established wealthy families, and the slightly newer movie business… united in their desire for employment as high-class and supremely competent domestic service, or just residence in a place offering considerably nicer weather. They all met on Sundays at Victor McLaughlin Park, where there were British-rules football games, and even cricket matches, all during the 20ies and 30ies. (My maternal and paternal grandfathers may even have met there, twenty years before their son and daughter resolved to marry their respective fortunes together).

All unknowing, my own Grandpa Jim and Auntie Mary’s mother, Granny Clarke, represented the poles of that lonely expat community. Grandpa Jim worked for nearly three decades for a wealthy, well-established Pasadena family of irreproachable respectability… and Granny Clark, for reasons that may be forever unknown, sometime in the mid teens or early 20ies of the last century, took it into her head to work for “those Hollywood people”. According to my mother, who took much more interest in Granny Clarke and held her in considerable reverence, this was an irrevocable career move. In the world of domestic service in Southern California in the late teens or early 20ies, once a domestic had “Hollywood” people on the professional resume, they were pretty well sunk as far as the other respectable employers were concerned. It is all rather amusing at this 21st century date to discover that the Old Money Pasadena/Montebello People looked down on the New Money Los Angeles People, who all in turn and in unison looked down on the very new Hollywood People… who had, as legend has it, arrived on a train, looking for nice weather and a place to film those newfangled moving picture thingies without being bothered by an assortment of … well, people that did not have their best economic interests at hand, back on the Other Coast.

So, while Granny Clarke might have been originally advised that she was committing professional suicide by casting her fortunes with “those Hollywood People”, it turned out very well in the end, for her, even though she appeared, personally, to have been the very last likely person to take to the waters of the Tinseltown domestic pool with any enthusiasm. She was a being of the old breed, a stern and unbending Calvinist, the sort of Scots Lowlander featured in all sorts of 19th century stories; rigidly honest and a lifelong teetotaler, fearlessly confident in the presence of those who might have assumed themselves to be her social and economic betters, honest to a fault… and thrifty to a degree that my mother (no slouch in that department, herself) could only genuflect towards, in awe and wonder. One of the first things that I remember Mom telling me about Granny Clarke was that she would carefully melt and re-mold the half-consumed remnants of jelled salads, pouring the liquid into an even smaller mold, and presenting a neat appearance at a subsequent meal. Neither Mom nor Grannie Jessie ever had felt obliged to dress up leftovers as anything else than what they were, but Granny Clarke was a consummate professional.

Her early employers, so Mom related to me, were so enormously and touchingly grateful not to be abused, cheated and skinned economically, (or betrayed to the tabloids and gossip columnists) that no matter how personally uncomfortably they might have felt in the presence of someone who was the embodiment of sternly Calvinistic disapproval of their personal peccadilloes, Granny Clarke was fully and generously employed by a long sequence of “Hollywood people” for the subsequent half-century. Granny Clarke managed to achieve, I think, a certain ideal, of being able to tolerate in the larger arena, while disapproving personally, and being respected and valued in spite of it all. She was painfully honest about household accounts, and ran the kitchen on a shoestring, buying the least expensive cuts… and with magical skill, conjuring the most wonderful and richly flavored meals out of them.

She was for a time, employed by Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks at the legendary Pickfair mansion, before moving on to her longest stretch of employment, as housekeeper and cook for the dancer and star, Eleanor Powell. According to Mom, she only and regretfully left service with Ms. Powell after the formers’ marriage to Glenn Ford. The impetus was that Granny Clarke collected stamps and so did Mr. Ford, and after the marriage of Mr. Ford and Miss Powell, Granny Clarke no longer had an uncontested pick of the many exotic stamps that came in attached to Miss Powell’s fan mail. She went to work for James Mason, instead. Presumably, he didn’t grudge her the stamps from his fan mail.

In retirement, she lived with her daughter and son in law, and their four sons, which is when I knew her. We were all only aware in the vaguest way that she had been the housekeeper to the stars; that all paled besides the wonderful way she cooked, and the way she cosseted us smaller children. I wish I had thought to ask for more stories about Hollywood in her time, for she must have been a rich fund of them. One hot summer day, when we were at their house for dinner, Mom was not feeling very well, and when she confessed this, Granny Clarke said, sympathetically,
“Oh, then I’ll fix you some poached eggs in cheese sauce.”
It sounded quite revolting to Mom— I think she may have been pregnant with Pippy— but when Granny Clarke set down a beautifully composed dish of perfectly poached eggs, bathed in a delicately flavored cheese sauce, Mom was able to eat every bite, and keep it down, too. She had never tasted anything quite so delicious, and when she said so, Granny Clarke allowed as how her poached eggs in cheese sauce had been a favorite among certain guests at Pickfair. Those movie moguls and directors and that, she said, all had ulcers and stomach upsets, through being so stressed… but they were all, to a man, very fond of her poached eggs and cheese sauce.

I rather think it must have been something rather like this cheese sauce, taken from Jan & Michael Sterns’ “Square Meals” savory cheese sauce:

Melt 2 TBsp butter, adding 3 TBsp four, 1 Tsp salt, a dash of pepper, 1 Tsp prepared mustard and 1 Tsp Worchester sauce, and whisk until smooth. Stir in slowly;
2 Cups milk, and add 1 cup grated American or cheddar cheese. Simmer 5-10 minutes, stirring constantly until sauce is smooth and thick. Makes about 2 cups of sauce, enough to puddle generously around 4 poached eggs— two servings of 2 eggs each. Depends on how much you like cheese sauce, I guess, or how much you like eggs… or have toast fingers to dunk in the cheese sauce.

The trick to poached eggs is to break each egg into a small bowl, and to pour it into a pot of boiling water after you have taken a spoon and whisked the water to make a small whirlpool… or to use one of those patent egg-poacher saucepan inserts so beloved of outlets like Williams-Sonoma.

11. February 2006 · Comments Off on The First Time I Disobeyed a Direct Order (and almost peed myself a little) · Categories: Memoir, Pajama Game

Note: I’ve stripped this and changed some of the details in order to ensure that OPSEC is maintained. I know one of the Presidents declassified most of this but old habits die hard. Shrug. Most of this happened the way I put it down here as best as memory serves.

So it’s in the late 80s and I’m part of a deployment “somewhere south of the Mexican border.” I’ve got all of two stripes and I’m mostly typing out message traffic on an old manual with OCR font built right onto the strikers when I’m not filling sandbags or rearranging rocks. No, I didn’t do anything wrong, that’s just what most of the support folks were doing. I’m mostly there to support the Lt Col who’s in charge of the base but he doesn’t have a lot to do either so we mostly kept as busy as we could to make the days go by. I don’t care if you’ve summered in Alabama; no place has ever been hotter or muggier than this place. It’s the kind of place where mosquitoes are rumored to have stolen small children right from their parent’s sides.

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04. February 2006 · Comments Off on When we all come home · Categories: Air Force, Memoir, Military

Tonight while watching the current Military Channel program about submarines, when the program got to the part where the patrol ended, the scenes brought back a lot of memories.

In 22 years in the AF, I served six overseas tours, for a total of just over seven and a half years out of the US. Only one of those tours was accompanied, two years in the Philippines, at Clark AB. That means that the rest, five and a half years, was very lonely, separated from family. Then, at the end of each tour was the sheer joy and excitement of coming home!

Let me see if I can stir some distant memories in the hearts of my comrades who experienced like joys and sadnesses. My first set of orders out of Keesler was to the 6314th CAMRON, Osan AB, Korea. In fact, when my Army son-in-law finished his AIT many years later, his first overseas tour was Korea. Why does the US government love to torment us so? Well, it does seem that way. I remember that Korea in those days, only 8 years or so from the so-called end of hostilities, was a 13-month isolated assignment. I don’t know what it is today, but in those days the country was pretty badly torn up, and one did not go off base out of uniform. At least that is what the rule was. I don’t know how many people followed it, but…..well. Since I arrived in December and left in January, I had the dubious honor of being a 62-64 man. At a glance, it looked like 2 years, but it was, after all, only 13 months. And I darn near missed my flight home from Kimpo, as the day that I was scheduled to leave, there was an MPC change, which locked all the bases down, everyone restricted to base while the military payment certificates, which was what we used for money, were exchanged for new ones. This was to limit the black market, and it was always done as a surprise so, if you left your money off base, it was gone!

However, I managed to cadge a pickup truck from the motor pool, a friend to drive it back, and we managed to talk our way off base from the SP’s on the gate. I was desperate, I did not want to get stuck there and have to get new orders!! We managed to get to Kimpo, I got on my flight, and in a couple of days, I was putting my feet under Mama’s dinner table again. I wasn’t married then, Jen and I were engaged, and it was pure heaven to get my arms around her again! I was then assigned to Tyndall AFB, FL, and we were married in November of 1964.

We had just enough time to get married, have a baby, and then I was slapped with orders again. This time, to the PI. After 8 months of wrangling, Jen and L’il Joe were getting off a Pan Am 707 in Manila. We spent a few days with some missionary friends of mine before the trip up to Clark, Clark was an interesting tour, I was in an Air Rescue unit flying Grumman HU-16’s. They were durn near older than I was, and the radar system got off the Mayflower! We did a lot of sightseeing, had a lot of friends, and other than the ever-present violence, it was a pretty fun tour. I remember that my younger brother was at the time stationed in Vietnam, and he managed to get sent to Clark for a 2-month field training school, during which time he stayed with us. This kid, who had been in Vietnam, was scared to death of the Philippines. When he would go out the main gate after school, he would hit a run, and not stop until he got to our gate. We lived only a couple of blocks outside the gate, and we found this amusing. During this tour, I spent a couple of 30-day TDY’s to DaNang, we had a FOB there, and everybody had to do his part. That was one thing I didn’t like, leaving my wife and baby son in the PI, but we had close friends who took care of her. Then, when the tour was over, we were sent to Pease AFB, NH, a very lovely place, and one of our most enjoyable tours. Man, I’m getting old! Pease, and most of the other bases where I served, are now closed. Ugh!

The next call of duty was to Taiwan, where I spent 15 months at CCK, Ching Chuan Kang AB. Pease had gotten me into SAC, and once they got their mitts on you, you were stuck there! CCK, located about 75 miles south of Taipei, at Taichung, was a very safe, pleasant tour. We had KC-135’s there, used to fuel B-52’s from Guam flying to you-know-where. We lost one aircraft and crew while I was there. They were flying back from their mission when the plane just blew up over the Pacific. That was a sad day.

Then the happy day came in May 1970, when I flew home from Taipei, with orders to Wurtsmith AFB, MI. Another now-closed base. Man, the joy and excitement of meeting my wife and kids – my daughter had been born at Kittery Navy Yard in Portsmouth, NH, and my family had stayed in NH while I was in Taiwan, just hoping I would get sent back there. No, in the wisdom of the AF, they sent me to Michigan and another guy went from CCK to Pease. Don’t ask me why. SAC knew it all.

More in the next post of my tours in Thailand and in the UK, and Turkey. And of the sweet homecoming from those tours. Wow, it was so nice, and almost surreal, to be home again! It had gotten so bad, so lonely, that I almost began to believe that I’d never get home to my loving family again!

That’s all for this time. Hope I brought back some great memories of now-distant homecomings for you!

28. January 2006 · Comments Off on The “I Peed Myself a Little” Story · Categories: Memoir, Pajama Game

Okay, so you guys want more military memoirs, here’s one I’ve threatened to tell since I got here and never got around to it.

This is mostly from a letter I sent home from the end of January, 1991. Thanks to Paddy for saving it. The rest is from memory, and you know how that goes. And I make no apologies for the rough language, it’s the way I talked back then.

Operation Desert Storm, January, 1991. Southwest Saudi Arabia, Team Stealth. F-117s in the hangars and surrounded by Arabs.

As is always the case on a deployment, the cops are overworked and getting a little crispy around the edges because they’re working, they’re trying to eat, they’re trying to keep their uniforms somewhat professional looking, some of them are trying to keep their PT up, and oh yeah, when there’s time left, they try to sleep through all the prayer calls. Cranky cops are okay for a little bit but you don’t want youngsters with guns with bad attitudes wandering around a foreign country…especially Saudi Arabia where the locals are a bit more…sure of themselves…have a healthy sense of self-esteem…oh fuck it…where the locals are the most arrogant sons a bitches you’d ever want to meet. And I know from arrogant, I used to think it was a positive character trait instead of defect.

Back then when the cops got a bit over-worked, we augmented them. By that I don’t mean we attended traffic pattern safety school and put on an orange vest and got RSD from waving cars in the gate, I mean we grabbed a gun, flack jacket and helmets and we sat posts or rode patrols and we basically did what the cops did. We watched, we reported, we told the locals, “Stay away from our airplanes.”

More »

23. January 2006 · Comments Off on Random Rants from the Road · Categories: Ain't That America?, Memoir, Rant

So I went to see my Mom in Chicagoland this weekend, driving out Friday Morning and back today. I thought I’d share some of the random flotsam that goes through my brain when I’m running I-80 through the “scenic” Iowa and Illinos farmlands.

Attention Flatbed Drivers. For the love of GOD, please make sure that your load of empy 50 gallon drums are ALL secure before you head out on the hiway. I’m still pulling pieces of upolstery out of my ass. But ya know, thanks for the fact that it was empty, all that bouncing helped me miss it…I think…I’m still unsure of HOW I missed it.

Why is it every package of beef jerkey you can purchase in a truck stop is stale?

I have no idea why so many RVs were on the road. Isn’t it January? Who RVs in January?

Attention Country Radio. Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flats IS a killer song, but perhaps you should consider toning down how many times an hour your play it.

Attention all drivers on the hiway: 1) PICK. A. SPEED. 2) Slower drivers to the left, faster drivers to the right is NOT the recommended practice. 3) Merge does not mean I need to get the hell out of your way, it means you need to adjust your happy self into the flow of traffic. 4) 18-Wheelers are bigger than we are. That in itself deserves some respect. Considering the taxes that truckers pay compared to us, yes in fact they DO own the road, a couple times over I might add. Give them a freakin’ break. 5) PICK. A. SPEED. Yeah, one and five are the same, some folks need to be told twice.

Iowa rest stops are quite clean and well-kept, good on Iowa.

People in Iowa are very very very friendly to an old fart in an Air Force hoody. People in rural Illinois are also very friendly. This friendliness begins to fade as you get closer to Chicago.

Family members and friends who have lived in Chicagoland all their lives or most of their adult lives have NO idea what the hell is going on in the world other than Bush sucks and all our troops need to come home and lock down our borders.

17. January 2006 · Comments Off on Relics · Categories: Domestic, General, Memoir, Pajama Game

One of the first things my youngest brother Sander said to me after Mom and Dad’s house burned in the Paradise Mountain fire, two years and three months ago in Northern San Diego County was “”Well, that solves any dispute between us over who gets what!” Because there is now pitifully little of the “family things”, the accumulation of this, and that, bits of china and knick-knacks, furniture and linens— all those tangible records of our ancestors’ taste and purchasing ability, all those familiar things that were just always there, in Granny Jessie’s or Granny Dodie’s house, or in Mom and Dad’s. When Blondie was still my parents’ only grandchild, and looked in a fair way to inherit the entire accumulation for good or ill, Mom remarked once, “Well, I hope she likes dusting!” Their house had lately become full of things that Pip, JP and I had been used to seeing at our grandparents, in addition to all sorts of things that had always been there— the red Naugahyde upholstered club arm-chair, the India-brass coffee table with the blue iris bowl on it and a fan of magazines and books arrayed around it, the spiky and uncomfortable teak Danish Modern dining room table and chairs, Mom’s wedding-present silver place settings— all those things that had moved from Rattlesnake Cottage, to the White Cottage, to the Redwood House and Hilltop House and their eventual resting place in the house Mom and Dad built together, the house that burned to the ground, all those things reduced to a pile of rubble and ashes, scraped up from the concrete pad by a bulldozer blade and carried away to be dumped… but not before the ashes had been combed and sifted by various volunteers, family members and neighbors.

The house is mostly rebuilt, now— Mom and Dad moved in several months ago, happily abandoning the RV which they bought to replace the one loaned to them by friends. The veranda, and solarium were still incomplete, the area around the garage was still piled with gravel, roof tiles, and squares of terra-cotta saltillo tiles, but the main house was completed, and all the stored furniture (nearly every scrap of it second-hand and gently worn) moved out of where it had been stashed for the last eighteen months… all the linens and clothes, bric-a-brac, bedding and kitchen things put away, and Blondie and I went around for a day, armed with a hammer and picture hangers, and deployed pictures in pleasing and eye-catching formations on certain of the walls. This iteration of Mom and Dad’s house is much more comfortably arranged for visitors, and for entertaining, with a lovely and generous kitchen arranged around a wood-topped central island and stocked with all the cleverest recent developments in storage— a pull-out cabinet with two trash cans, a drawer with a sliding cover for crackers and bread, a shallow drawer especially for cookie sheets and racks, and a spice shelf with an array of smaller hinged shelves tucked inside of it. Clever and ingenious as it all is, we were constantly going to the wrong cupboard for the commonly used things— mugs and silverware, glasses and plates. Invariably, we would first go to where they had used to be, in the house before. What used to be Mom’s studio is now a sort of entryway and secondary living room, which can be closed off with sliding wooden doors to make a second guest bedroom, and the guest bathroom is much larger, with a tall wooden linen closet built in, and a dressing area.

Besides hanging pictures and clearing the last of their things out of the RV, Blondie and I took on another dispiriting chore that I think Mom and Dad just didn’t want to deal with; the last of the remains salvaged from the ashes; six or seven heavy boxes consigned to the shed, filthy with ash and grit from the fire, and disgusting from having been nested in by mice.
Neighbors, friends and family had gone over the site with hope and enthusiasm; some of the things— mostly china, metal and glass— were wrapped in newspaper. Plain white kitchen plates, fairly undamaged, a rectangular enamel casserole which used to be turquoise blue, now it was greenish, and the enamel bubbled and crazed… a set of eight fragile demitasse cups and saucers, the pastel colors of flowers and leaves mutated by fire, but otherwise whole and un-chipped… a little china bulldog chasing it’s tail, also un-chipped but slightly blackened with a deposit of soot and crud from the tarpaper. A silver cigarette case, and a pocket-watch, a little tin box full of cut and unset gem agates, another of coins… about half the pieces from the blue iris bowl, not enough to reconstruct….two handfuls of corroded silver-plate spoons, knives and forks, a kitchen-knife with the wooden handle all burned away. Two irregular conglomerations of smashed wedding china stuck together with melted glass… one of them with the remains of a serving fork imbedded in it. A couple of heavy cut-crystal decanter stoppers, slightly deformed. The antique teapot with the curious lid, an ornamental platter painted with birds on a cactus plant, and a green and blue ewer with a silver-plate lid, not much damaged, as Mom had put them in a bathtub full of water, not realizing that the roof tiles would smash down on top of it all— but at least all the pieces were in one place, and only a little of the soot and tar crud on them. Those three can be repaired, Pip and I will see to it. It was fascinating, in a faintly gruesome way, sorting out what things actually were, and wondering in some cases, how they had survived in a recognizable form.

But all the rest reminded me of nothing so much as the cases of relics dug up from Pompeii, all laid out carefully under glass, with little labels pinned to the fabric on which they lay: the fragile glass and the corroded spoons, fire-blasted pots, with blobs of melted sand stuck to them, the humble and prosaic, the occasional small luxury, all gritty with soot and a dusting of ashes, but more imperishable than memory.

14. January 2006 · Comments Off on Another Brush With History · Categories: General, History, Israel & Palestine, Memoir, Military, World

I had long put it out of my mind, and was only reminded when I ran across this picture at Chicago Boyz… that I actually went to see one of these men speak. For some reason (probably because he had recently resigned from the government) he came to speak at Cal. State Northridge, sometime in the spring of 1975 or 1976, under the sponsership of (I think) the campus chapter of Hillel.

I an fairly sure it was spring, because it was raining cats and dogs, and I was still inexperienced enough a driver to be mildly terrified of the ordeal of driving across the Valley in a downpour, what with the lights reflecting off the water in the road making it hard to see where the lanes were. On the whole the drive was a titch more unsettling than getting into the campus theater was. Each of us lined up to go into the theater— and there was a fair turnout— was patted down, briskly and effeciently, and all the women’s handbags were opened for inspection. Now that was unsettling. It hadn’t been unheard of, that kind of precaution, after all, it was only a half-dozen years after Bobby Kennedy’s assassination, a dozen since Jack Ruby walked into a police station in Dallas and killed another Kennedy assassin… but still.

Even on a wet and unpleasant evening, there were protestors, or course…. practically the only time I had ever seen such on campus with my own eyes… chanting dispiritedly “Palestina! Palestina!” in the downpour that the weather gods save for those who are convinced the sun always shines in Southern California. (There was hardly any campus culture of protest after about 1972, and anyway, Northridge was a commuter school— most students going there had jobs and real lives, and just wanted the damned education, thank you very much.)

I think most of the other people in the audience were, like me, curious and interested… and polite. The person we had come to hear speak was famous, of course, mostly for winning wars— something that our own generals had not lately had much experience with. He had been on the cover of Time, and all. There was an air in the audience of pleasant anticipation, not excitement as if for a rock concert, but more like that in a classroom, when a really rivetingly good lecturer is about to begin. And there were good lecturers at Cal State, and there was a history prof at Glendale JC who was so fabulous that people sat out in the corridor to audition his classes. This man was truely a historic person, well worth driving across the Valley in driving rain to see and listen to.

For a hero, though, he was pretty short, and rather modestly ordinary looking, for all the world like a small local business owner at a Rotary or Lions meeting, wearing a plain tan-colored suit and a wholly lamentable tie. Perhaps I should have looked back in the diary I kept at the time before writing this because I would have written about what he said, because I can’t really remember any of it. But I am good with voices and accents, and they stick in my mind more tenaciously, and I thought it was curious how he spoke English well, but with sometimes a very pronounced accent, alternating jarringly with some words and phrases in perfectly fluent British English— as if he had once spoken English often and comfortably, but not lately, and so become rusted linguistically.

Exept for the eye-patch, one would have hardly noticed Moshe Dayan at all, in that campus theater; he had, I think now with my own experience in the military, perfected the art of putting aside the command presence that a military leader must have in order to lead… but that only the very finest of them can put aside when the occasion demands, and appear to be only ordinary.

(I saw Ray Bradbury lecture once, in the same theater, and remember that he told the story of being arrested for walking in LA, but I think he’s been telling that one for years.)

29. December 2005 · Comments Off on You’ve Got to Laugh (051229) · Categories: Air Force, Memoir, Stupidity, The Funny

There was a particularly contrary officer that worked in my area. He wasn’t in my chain of command, but I had to deal with him on a regular basis. His problem: He simply didn’t trust anything enlisted people said. He wanted chapter and verse and a copy of the page where it’s written. And sometimes even when he’s wrong he’ll argue that it didn’t apply to us because we weren’t assigned to the Air Force at the time. He made me tired.

After two plus years and two hours of going around on one issue in particular, I threw up my hands in exasperation and simply said:

“Sir, I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter what I say to you, I’m going to be wrong.”

Without any irony whatsoever his response was:

“Now that’s just not true.”

Luckily we were interrupted by one of the older civilian guys dragging me away because he needed something and I didn’t ruin the rest of my time there by laughing in the man’s face.

11. December 2005 · Comments Off on RIP Richard Pryor · Categories: Ain't That America?, Memoir

You were one funny mother fucker.

09. December 2005 · Comments Off on The Chalk Giant · Categories: Domestic, General, History, Memoir

Granny Jessie, tiny and brutally practical, was not particularly given to fancy and fantasies. When she talked of old days and old ways, she talked of her girlhood on her fathers’ ancestral acres, a farm near Lionville, Chester County, Pennsylvania; of horse-drawn wagons, and cows and cats, and how pigs were cleverer than dogs. Of how she and her sister and brother would have to stop going down to the pig-pen early in the fall, lest they become too fond of an animal whose fate it was to be butchered for ham, and bacon, roasts and sausage and scrapple to last the winter through. Of how she played on the Lionville boys’ baseball team, since there were not enough boys, and she was a tomboy and skillful enough to play first-base, and how her grandfathers’ house was once a fall-back way-station on the Underground Railway. (It was the inn in Lionville itself was the main way-station, with a secret room and a concealed access to the woods, or so said Granny Jessie.) It was all very prosaic, very American, a breath away from the Little House books and so very familiar.

Granny Dodie’s stories, even if she did not have a spell-binding repertoire, were touched with fire and enchantment because of the very unfamiliarity of the venue… a row-house in Liverpools’ Merseyside, a few streets away from there the Beatles had come from, where Granny Dodie had grown up the youngest of a family of nine, sleeping three in a bed with her older sisters. “The one on the side is a golden bride, the one by the wall gets a golden ball, the one in the middle gets a golden fiddle, “she recited to me once. “Although all I ever got of it was the hot spot!” All her brothers were sailors or dockworkers, and her ancestors too, as far as memory went. Even her mothers’ family, surnamed Jago, and from Cornwall— even they were supposed to have grafted onto their family tree a shipwrecked Armada sailor. Granny Dodie insisted breathlessly there was proof of this in the darkly exotic good looks of one of her brothers. “He looked quite foreign, very Spanish!” she would say. We forbore to ruin the story by pointing out that according to all serious historic records, all the shipwrecked Spaniards cast up on English shores after the Armada disaster were quickly dispatched… and that there had been plenty of scope in Cornwall— with a long history of trans-channel adventure and commerce—to have acquired any number of foreign sons-in-law. She remembered Liverpool as it was in that long-ago Edwardian heyday, the time of the great trans-Atlantic steamers, and great white birds (liver-birds, which according to her gave the port it’s name) and cargo ships serving the commercial needs of a great empire, the docks all crowded and the shipways busy and prosperous.

One Christmas, she and my great-Aunt Nan discovered a pictue book— John S. Goodalls’ “An Edwardian Summer”, among my daughters’ presents, and the two of them immediately began waxing nostalgic about long-ago seaside holidays; that time when ladies wore swimsuits that were more like dresses, with stockings and hats. They recollected donkey-rides along the strand, the boardwalks and pleasure-piers full of carnival rides, those simpler pleasures for a slightly less over-stimulated age. But the one old tale that Granny Dodie told, the one that stayed my memory, especially when Pip and JP and I spent the summer of 1976 discovering (or re-discovering) our roots was this one:

“There are places,” she said, ” Out in the country, they are, where there are stone stairways in the hillsides, going down to doorways… but they are just the half the size they should be. They are all perfectly set and carved… but for the size of people half the size we are. And no one knows where they lead.”

Into the land of the Little People, the Fair Folk, living in the hollow hills, of course, and the half-sized stairways lead down into their world, a world fair and terrible, filled with faerie, the old gods, giants and monsters and the old ways, a world half-hidden, but always tantalizingly, just around the corner, or down the half-sized stairway into the hidden hills, and sometimes we mundane mortals could come close enough to brush against that unseen world of possibilities.

From my journal, an entry writ during the summer of 1976, when Pip and JP and I spent three months staying in youth hostels and riding busses and BritRail… and other means of transportation:

July 9- Inglesham
Today we started off to see the Uffington White Horse, that one cut into the hillside in what— the Bronze or Iron Age, I forget which. We started off thinking we could catch a bus and get off somewhere near it, but after trying quite a few bus stops (unmarked they are at least on one side of the road) we took to hitch-hiking and the first person took us all the way there. He was an employee of an auctioneering firm, I guess & I guess he wasn’t in a hurry because he asked where we were going (Swindon & then to the White Horse) & said he would take us all the way there. It was a lovely ride, out beyond Ashbury, and the best view of the horse is from the bottom, or perhaps an aero plane. It’s very windy up here, very strong and constantly- I think it must drive the grass right back into the ground, because it was very short & curly grass. We could see for miles, across the Vale, I guess they call it. After that we walked up to Uffington Castle, an Iron Age ring-embankment, & some people were trying to fly a kite-it’s a wonder it wasn’t torn to pieces.
We sat for a while, watching fields of wheat rippling like the ocean & cloud-shadows moving very slowly and deliberately across the multicolored patchwork.
The man who brought us out advised us to walk along the Ridgeway, an ancient track along the crest of the hill, and so we did. It was lovely and oh, so lonely. Nothing but the wheat fields on either side and looking as if they went on forever.
We looked at Wayland’s Smithy, a long stone barrow in a grove of trees & when we got to Ashford, we found the Rose & Crown pub and had lunch. It was practically empty, no one but an elderly couple and their dog, a lovely black & white sheepdog, very friendly. Then we set off to walk and hitch-hike back to Highworth, but we picked the two almost deserted roads in Oxfordshire to do it, because it took nearly forever to get two rides. One got us from Ashbury to (indecipherable) and the second directly into Highworth. Both were women, very kind and chatty; I wish I knew what impulse people have which make them pick up hitch-hikers. What I do know is that the loveliest sight is that of a car slowing down and the driver saying “Where are y’heading for?”

Thirty years later I remember how charmed we were by the people who gave us rides— the auctioneers assistant who was so taken in by my reasons for seeing the White Horse that he decided he had to see it himself, and the two women— both with cars full of children— who were either totally innocent of the ways of this soon-to-become-wicked-world, or had unerring snap-judgment in deciding to slow down and pick up three apparently innocent and apparent teenagers. (I was 22 but was frequently and embarrassingly informed that I looked younger than the 16 year-old Pip, and JP was 20, but also must have looked innocent, younger and harmless.)
With their assistance, we spent a lovely day, in the sun and wind, in the uplands along the Ridgeway, examining the form of a running horse, cut into the turf on a chalk hillside, an ancient fortress, a legendary dolman tomb, and an ancient highway along the backbone of Britain… always thinking that just around the next bend would be the stairway into the hollow hills, and the giants and fair folk of old… Adventure and peril just as Grannie Dodie said it would be in the lands of our ancestors… always just around the corner.

07. December 2005 · Comments Off on Another Shot of the Arizona Memorial · Categories: Memoir

…from the deck of the Battleship Missouri, summer 2000.

You’re already taken aback by the museum on the island of Oahu. When you take the boat out to the memorial, they ask that you treat it as you would a cemetary, for that’s what it is, with reverence. Even so, when you get to the memorial you’re simply not prepared unless someone has told you and even then your heart leaps into your throat as you step into the memorial proper.

27. November 2005 · Comments Off on Small Children/Public Spaces · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, General, Memoir

So there is a kerfuffle (expounded on here, with links) about small children behaving badly in public places, and how on earth two different sets of people can peacefully co-exist; those people who would like to enjoy a cup of coffee or a fine meal, or an excursion to someplace of interest in peace and quiet… and those people who would like to do so, accompanied by children. And there is the third set of people, those owners and proprietors of such places, who want very much to cater to both sets, and somehow avoid the incoming fire from both parties as well as lawsuits, should misbehaving little monsters somehow manage to injure themselves or others.

Honestly, it’s not really about children, actually – it’s more about parents who can’t or won’t insist on a certain degree of decorum from their offspring, little caring that while they will put up with a lot from their offspring, other people are not so obliged. I speak of one who has been there, in all three capacities; as the parent of a willful child of a particularly tempestuous nature, as a horrified witness to parental malpractice in public spaces, and as a contract employee in a department store, observing children who were charming, well-behaved and polite, and others who were clearly running amuck.

I worked once with another single-parent female NCO whose kindergarten age son was a horror— she would never, ever, follow through on a warning or a threat when he disobeyed. Every other experienced parent within earshot would cringe, whenever she said, in that uncertain, pleading voice “Sugar, don’t do (whatever he was heading straight for doing) – you don’t want to be in time-out, do you?” Whereas it was perfectly clear he didn’t give a shit for time-out or any other of her pathetic threats, and I would think, despairingly, ‘If he doesn’t have any respect for you now, what in the hell are you going to do when he is a hulking teenager and a foot taller than you?’ She never, ever, delivered on any threat made in public hearing, and of course, her son was a willful little monster – and one with plenty of company, as I saw in that brief season when I worked retail, and observed the horror of snotty-nosed, sticky-handed small children heading straight for the designer clothing racks. I had a special technique for those children, though; I would appear noiselessly among the racks, and murmur confidently; “Darling, you had best go back to your mommy – do you know what we do with unattached children at closing time? Security takes them away, and those who aren’t adopted by store staff are raised to be sales associates; where do you think we get new store staff?” This would usually reattach them to their parental unit as if they had been velcroed there, although there were a small percentage of children and parental units who upon hearing this, looked hopeful and said “Really??!!” (Working at the same department section, Blondie was much less subtle— she would tell the same sticky-handed small children that the fur coats were only sleeping, that they were chained to the racks to prevent them from waking up and leaping down to fall upon and eat small, disobedient children.)

At the end of the day, my sympathies are split, but with a large chunk of it being with those parents who have children to do behave well in public (or mostly behave well) but catch it in the neck, anyway. There’s nothing quite as agonizing as going into an upscale San Francisco restaurant with a toddler — who for a change is behaving rather well — and being treated like some sort of leper by the waiter. Whom I left with a 25 cent tip, by the way. Unlike the waiter in a similar restaurant the night before, who fussed over my daughter, and brought her some crackers and finger food along with my menu, to while away the minutes until my order was ready. I have always counted myself lucky that Blondie’s terrible twos coincided with our PCS to Greece, where it seemed that children were admired, and petted and indulged universally – but usually managed to behave themselves in public.

The occasional horrific temper-tantrum— like the time she threw a glass on the floor in a pizza restaurant in Glyphada, screamed her head off, and bit me on the forearm so hard I had a lump there for months — were passed over with equanimity by the waiter and everyone else present. ‘Children— eh, they will be children,’ seemed to be the waiter’s attitude, as he swept up the glass, and no one turned a hair when I spanked her just outside the front door. I couldn’t help noticing how differently children, and their parents were treated in Greece, how much less nerve-racking going out into public spaces in Greece with her actually was, even though I still couldn’t count on much beyond fifteen or twenty minutes of good behavior from her in any one venue. I couldn’t help noticing how everyone noticed children, paid attention to them, petted them, indulged them with treats and admiration, gave extravagant notice of how important they were, how special and cherished – valued not just by their parents, but everyone, from the granny in the hardware store where I bought propane bottles giving her a bit of penny candy, to the priest in the square by the Metropolitan Cathedral, giving her a blessing and a little icon the size of a baseball trading card. I also couldn’t help noticing that children in Greece were confident and secure – sometimes a little brash – but almost always quite well behaved and out and about with their parents everywhere.

It was such a contrast to what it had been in the States, before we transferred. It just seemed like they liked children a whole lot more, and were a lot more indulgent about bad behavior – but there was a lot less bad behavior around. Were children liked and indulged because they were fairly well-mannered. Or were they well-mannered because they were liked and indulged? I’ll leave the sociologists to figure out that one.

24. November 2005 · Comments Off on YAHOO, YAHOO, YAHOO!! · Categories: Eat, Drink and be Merry, Good God, Memoir, That's Entertainment!

Happy dayze is a-comin! Yahoooo! Sweet li’l daughter is a-gittin’ married next Friday! And we are a-leavin’ for Colorado first thing Wednesday morning! After Nurse Jenny finishes work on Tuesday, we’re headed out for Hotlanta, where we will be jumping up and….wait a minute…. easing ourselves onto a great big bird for the short 3 1/2 hour ride to Denver, and we get to spend a glorious week in our favorite of all states! We’ll be renting a car in Denver and driving the rest of the way to Florence, just south of Colorado Springs, where Sheryl lives. I guess we have to make a quick stop at Monument and see our old house, and maybe visit with my old pals at the fire house, where I once was the only paramedic. A couple of miles south of there is the AF Academy, and we plan to meet our son and his family at the gift shop at Focus on the Family’s huge campus.

(A great place to visit, I was involved in some of the initial construction phases there, and it was my privilege to furnish the radios used in the dedication day festivities back in 1993.)

Sheri had one of those disasters that sometimes happens from her first marriage, but she has three of the most wonderful daughters from that time around. This time she gets another Joe…..Too many Joes in this family! Her Joe is Joe Caruso, one of those great Italian guys, and we believe she has the grand prize winner this time! Joe is a really super guy, and he’s gonna be a teriffic son-in-law, for sure. They’ve been dating for about two years now, so they should be pretty much getting used to having each other around by now. All I can say is that Joe had better mind his manners, because she’s a small package of high-explosive dynamite. I oughta know – I raised her! Whooff!

The hard part is that I gotta walk her down the aisle and give her away: And I happen to be one of those old softies with emotions on my sleeves! Somebody’s gonna have to help the doddering old man back to his seat!

We’ll be taking tons of pictures, as this will be the first time in many years that – wait a minute! This will be the first time EVER that we’ve had both our children and ALL of our grandchildren together at the same time! Wow! Last time we were together, two of the granddaughters were with Sheri’s ex, he had absconded with them, starting an eight year battle that she finally won just weeks ago. But what a happy family reunion this will be, us, five grandkids, and our two wonderful children, both with the best spouses anywhere! Who could ever ask for anything more?

Friends at the Brief, join us in wishing them all the best in the world!

21. November 2005 · Comments Off on Myths, Rites and Legends #17: Unspeakable Latrines · Categories: General, General Nonsense, Memoir, Military

It is a truism that travel broadens the mind, and brings the adventurous traveler in contact with many, many things— some of them elevated and educational and some of them mundane – and one of the mundane adventures is the exposure to the many, many different ways that human waste can be disposed of, ranging from the elaborate to the unspeakable.

The United States being, as Europeans are so tiresomely fond of reminding us, a relatively new country, our indoor plumbing arrangements are fairly recent and relatively standardized; rare (at least on the West Coast, and outside the historical districts) it is to encounter the old-fashioned toilet with the water tank up near the ceiling and a chain-pull hanging down, which releases the water, sending it thundering down the pipe to flush the bowl in one mighty, gravity-fed blast. But this was quite the usual sort I encountered in Europe- amusing, noisy, but fairly familiar and most usually clean.

Such is not always the case, as travelers find to their dismay- and even military standards of maintenance and cleanliness are not quite up to the challenge of keeping plumbing in a temporary building gone twenty-years over the originally expected lifetime up to par. This is, of course, a roundabout way of leading into my highly personal account of the Top Three Most Disgusting Public Lavatories I have ever encountered. No doubt, others have encountered worse, and are welcome to comment with the gruesome particulars.

The Third Most Disgusting was a little shed, an outhouse at the edge of a field, beside the road between Towada City and Lake Towada. There was actually nothing inside the shed save a hole in the floor of it and a fetid stench rising from the hole and the unspeakable pit underneath, a stench of such solidity in the heat of summer that you could practically see it, like the little ripples in the air over a cartoon skunk. And that was it— no paper of any sort, no water, just the little shed beside the road. It was the only thing resembling a public lavatory for miles – unless of course, you counted the benjo ditches, but not many Americans had the insouciance to use the ditches, not in broad daylight and in the open, anyway.

I regret to say that the Second Most Disgusting was actually the latrine at EBS-Zaragoza, a little cubicle at the end of a thirty-year old Quonset hut that housed the radio and engineering sections, which cubicle actually boasted a small window. The window saved it by a short head (no pun intended) from being a contender for First, in that it fresh air could be induced to enter, and dilute the potent reek emanating from the urinal. No matter how the cleaning lady scoured it, and no matter how many gallons of bleach and other cleansing agents we poured down it, on hot summer days the odor of crusted urine imbedded in thirty-year old plumbing beat them back and emerged triumphant, wafting down the corridor as far as the passage to the automation room. I hung a neatly lettered sign on the door to the latrine during one particularly hot summer; Warning: You are Now Entering The Bog of Incredible Stench, and everyone laughed their ass off, except for MSgt. Ken, the Station manager, who made me take it down.

The Most Disgusting Public Latrine in the west of the world actually was also in Spain; a service station restroom on the outskirts of San Roque, close by Gibraltar. I had to stop and fill the VEV’s gas tank, and both Blondie (then about 11 years old) and I badly needed to use the facilities. It was immediately apparent, from the moment that I opened the door at the back of the service station building, that the staff of the service station did not include any of the female persuasion. Not only was the toilet and sink caked with a unique assortment of filth, but a cardboard carton which performed as a waste basket – since a lot of facilities in Europe are incapable of digesting toilet paper it was full to overflowing with what in the good old US of A is normally flushed down the toilet – was covered with a moving carpet of enormous insects. Some kind of mutant daddy-long-legs was moving and seething, all over the carton of waste, the floor, the filthy sink and the walls. It looked for all the world like that scene in the first Indiana Jones movie with the cave full of tarantulas. My daughter took one horrified look at it, and said,
“Mom, I don’t have to go that bad!”
Unfortunately, I did. The bushes out at the back of the service station were thin and insubstantial, and I practically levitated a good ten inches over the disgusting seat. I have mercifully blocked out the name of the gas company – otherwise I would have advised nuking it from orbit, as the only way to make sure of it being cleansed from this earth.

Blondie has since made a practice of checking out the women’s restroom of any restaurant before she consumes anything from their menu, on the theory that if they can’t keep the can clean, the Deity knoweth what standards prevail in the kitchen. Words to live by, people, words to live by.

20. November 2005 · Comments Off on A Touch of the Flu · Categories: General, History, Memoir

It was a seasonal thing, the spring flu that hit in that particular year— everyone caught it, and almost everyone got better— the usual aches and temperature, headaches and lassitude. It didn’t seem much different from what strikes us every year; translating into a couple of days curled up at home in bed under the quilts, drinking hot liquids, sleeping a fevered and restless sleep and when awake, feeling rather feeble and wretched. These days— as then— only a relative handful of elderly and chronically ill see the usual flu turn into pneumonia, deadly, swift and terminal. The only curious thing noted in early accounts from Spain, in the northern resort city of San Sebastian, was that everyone exposed to the spring flu seemed to come down with it.

San Sebastian was (and still is) a charming, compact little city, built around an almost perfectly circular harbor. A generous pedestrian promenade runs nearly the entire circumference, adorned with elaborate light standards and a low balustrade along the edge, broken by shallow stairs descending to the beach level. The shortest way to commute across the downtown is in fact to walk along the beach; my daughter and I noticed many primly business-suited professional men walking home in the afternoon, carrying a briefcase and their shoes and socks, with their pant-legs turned up towards their knees, sloshing through the shallow water. The business commuters strolled by ladies of a certain, old-fashioned age, wearing modest one-piece bathing suits, and serious night-at-the-opera jewelry; an elaborate choker or paurure, long bracelets set with many stones, and cocktail rings.

San Sebastian was a place to be seen, gambling in the casinos, strolling along the circular promenade, even in 1918 while the last tattered glories of Belle Epoque Europe and all its old verities and optimistic assumptions were being smashed to microscopic fragments several hundred miles farther east. Spain was at peace, its’ newspapers uncensored, and although the city fathers of 1918 tried to downplay the spread of what otherwise seemed to be the usual three days of aches and fever— who wanted to come to a resort in the season, and spend ones’ holiday being sick— the spring flu struck across Europe. Government offices shut down, the British grand fleet couldn’t put out to sea in May because so many sailors were down sick, British and German ground offenses were put off, workers in vital war industries were unable to work- but then summer came, and the tide of illness— now termed the “Spanish flu” ebbed under the summer heat.

And then in August, the flu returned, crashing like a monstrous wave, nearly as communicable as it had been in the spring, but mutated during the interim— no one knows where by what means—into something deadly, something that killed large numbers of the young and otherwise healthy. It is estimated that in the United States alone, more than a quarter of the population caught the flu. Of those stricken, about twenty percent had a mild case and recovered without incident, but according to writer Gina Kolata, the rest became deathly ill. They died within days or even hours, delirious and gasping for air, their lungs filled with thin, bloody fluid.

Others, who seemed at first to have a manageable illness, would develop a deadly pneumonia, which if not fatal meant a protracted convalescence. And doctors and public health officials were all but helpless in the face of the deluge, a helplessness most particularly searing because the medical arts had just come off a seventy-year run of successes on all fronts. Miracles had seemingly been worked 2-a-penny: epidemic diseases like cholera, malaria, typhus had been banished or at least beaten back, anesthesia made complicated surgeries possible, antiseptics banished bacterial infection, childbirth made considerably less hazardous to the average Western woman, people no longer routinely died of appendicitis or a hundred other maladies that had kept human lives nasty, brutish and short. But the doctors were as helpless in 1918 as they had been a hundred years before; there was nothing they could do, as the strongest and fittest gasped out a last few agonizing breaths, their faces and extremities dark and congested from lack of oxygen. Hospitals filled up and up; as did the morgues and graveyards. Public health departments handed out gauze masks, and forbade spitting in public. Volunteers in places as far apart as Reading, England and El Paso, Texas set up temporary hospitals in schools and other public places.

I am fairly sure that my great-grandmother, Alice Page Hayes was one of those fearless and public-spirited women; according to her daughter, my adventurous Great-Aunt Nan (who did herself contract the flu), she had volunteered with the Red Cross and St. Johns’ Ambulance Service in Reading where she lived with her husband and daughter, all during the war. I have somewhere a tiny St. Johns’ Ambulance pin attesting to her service; of course, it was the done thing for middle and upper-class Englishwomen all during World War I. Alice Page Hayes, though, had an advantage over her peers, and that was that she had seriously trained as a nurse early in the 1880ies when it wasn’t quite the ladylike thing to do at all. Volunteer work made necessary by a war made it possible for her to continue with her calling, even though (as witness in her own copy of Mrs. Beatons’) nursing the sick was a particularly necessary part of ordinary household management, up until the day of inoculations and antibiotics. I am supposed to be like her, or so say a handful of family friends and connections acquainted with us both. Was she much like me? Managerial and confident, and just perhaps – one of those lucky people who never catch anything, or at very worst, a light case of whatever is going around?

One of the enduring puzzles of the 1918 pandemic was the mortality rate among the young and healthy, whereas the very young, the old and the chronically ill are the more usual victims. Some experts speculate that a previous flu in 1890 may have been just enough similar to the 1918 pandemic to afford immunity to those who had caught the earlier influenza variant – or that immunities acquired by those who were babies and small children at the time over-reacted with fatal results to the later epidemic. Nonetheless, I like to think of my great-grandmother, who had been exposed to and survived everything that the late 19th-century could throw at her, walking confidently into an emergency ward full of the desperately sick, knowing that she would do her best, that thanks to her work, some would live who otherwise would have died, that she would be OK, that she was one of the strong ones – and that I am one of her strong descendants.

11. November 2005 · Comments Off on Memories of Belgium · Categories: General, History, Memoir

Citadel and Cathedral, Dinant Belgium

In Dinant, Belgium, there is a cliff beside the River Meuse. At the base of the cliff is a cathedral, topped by an onion dome (onion domes abound in this town, for some reason). It is impossible to walk around the cathedral – the cliff forms its back wall. Atop the cliff, lining its edge, and at one point peering down on the cathedral dome, is a citadel.

If you go to Dinant today, and pay your few francs for the tour, you can either ride the cable car to the top of the cliff, climb the 408 stairs to the top of the cliff, or as I discovered on my final visit there, you can drive to the top of the cliff. I wish I’d known about the parking lot before climbing the stairs on my previous three visits.

As the tour guide leads you through the rooms, repeating himself in French, Dutch, German and English, depending on his audience, you learn that the Dutch occupied the citadel at one time, and that Napoleon stopped there, meeting his mistress who rode in a carriage from Paris. The carriage is on display in the citadel’s museum. You will traverse a catwalk, not visible in this photo, that takes you out over the cathedral. It’s larger than a catwalk, honestly – 2-3 people could walk abreast, but when you’re afraid of heights, it seems to be very narrow, and very fragile. My first visit, I stayed in the middle of it and scampered across as quickly as I could to reach the safety of the tunnel on the other side. Thank goodness I’m not claustrophobic, as well. By the time of my final visit, I had desensitized myself to where I could stand by the fenced edge, and take a picture looking *down* on the onion dome.

The citadel has been there since before Napoleon. The almost-twenty years that have passed since my visits there have dimmed my memory of its exact age. It has withstood countless attacks, and fallen to others. In 1915, with the town in flames from German bombs, it fell again.

It is a long citadel, as you can see in the picture. Inside there are many rooms, one after the other. Some paths lead you through rooms in a roundabout way bringing you back out into the center of the citadel, while others lead you into rooms that have no way out except to retrace your steps.

As you tour the citadel, the guide leads you through the rooms. In one, there is a display case showing mannequins with period uniforms/weapons of WWI. In the next room, there is a red plastic film over the window, to give the impression of the burning town. There is a diorama there, showing soldiers fighting. The soldiers are dressed like the mannequins in the previous room – this room represents 1915.

While the town burned below them, the defenders fought the Germans in the citadel. But it was not their town – not their fortress. They did not know that some paths led through rooms to a dead end. Fighting furiously, being pushed back from room to room, they learned the hard way that there was no way out.

It is a quiet group that retraces its steps through those rooms, back to the central, open area of the citadel.

After the tour ends, you are free to wander the grounds. I found myself wandering the military cemetery there, looking at “the crosses, row on row,” and murmuring portions of “On Flanders Fields” to myself, even though I was in Wallonia, not Flanders. There were Germans and Canadians buried there, but also Americans, from both wars.

Dinant was and is my favorite Belgian town. I’ve toured the citadel either 4 or 5 times, because we would take new arrivals there, for something to do on a Saturday.

It’s been 17 years since I last toured the citadel, but I still remember that red-tinged room, and the hopeless valor of those gallant soldiers.

31. October 2005 · Comments Off on Happy Blogiversary to Me · Categories: Memoir

29 October 2004 was my very first post here. The linkage it included has died so I’ll link back to A Brief Introduction. Wow…some things have changed a lot. Some things haven’t.

My legs now work. My lower back doesn’t want to and high blood pressure, the scourge of my family on both sides, has finally decided to settle in and stay. Meds are being taken and the headaches have been replaced with a spinning head when I work out. Me and the Doc are working on that. Although great for listening to Led Zepplin and Pink Floyd, dizzy spells are something I try to avoid these days. Being dizzy just doesn’t have the appeal it used to.

I still want to be a First Sergeant, but life happened a lot in the past year and that means that sometimes people you love and cherish die or get ready to die. That makes things hard. I didn’t want to be splitting my time between my family and my squadron. Not now. Not yet. I still have time. If it doesn’t happen I have no regrets over chosing my family first. I’ve watched guys pick their careers over their families. Not a one of them was ever happy about it. And I mean career, not duty. Duty is different and my family understands that which makes me a blessed man.

We thought we were going to Kadena next spring, then for Mt Home next month. Now we have no idea again. I’ve been here before, but I have to tell you, it’s starting to get old.

Life and death happens. One of my favorite books has a quote along the lines of, “If you truly believe in this spiritual life than you have to accept that dying is just as much a part of life as puberty…hopefully less dramatic.” That one makes me grin because it reminds me of that ol’ Marine Colonel I worked for, “You’ve got to have some vices otherwise God has to get creative when it’s time to take you home. Give Him something to work with otherwise he has to make things interesting. Nobody likes it when God makes death interesting. Tends to be dramatic.”

I need to thank some folks out there in this cartoon town of opinions we call The Blogisphere.

First of all the gang right here at The Daily Brief. Mom and the rest of you are just a barrel of laughs and a hoot and a holler all at once and it’s oodles of fun working with you. You do keep life interesting. Every now and then I wonder what the hell happened to Sparkey.

Stryker. My blogisphericalspiritual twin. Heh…that ought to make him gag for about a week…oh…wait…he has no gag reflex…he listens to Abba. Seriously though, thanks for the chats on Google and for letting me know, on occaission that I’m not as weird as I think I am…all the time.

And I could try to list all the people I read and try to draw material from, but there’s just too many.

Big thanks to the wingnuts on the far right and the moonbats on the far left for proving that sanity is a relative thing. Remember, as long as you guys are fighting, the terrorists are laughing.

25. October 2005 · Comments Off on Protected: Rosa Parks, World changer, and her influence on all of us! · Categories: Ain't That America?, Good God, History, Memoir


five × four =


25. October 2005 · Comments Off on Half Mast · Categories: Memoir

Beautiful Wife’s Father passed away yesterday afternoon. A Navy Chief Warrant Officer of 30+ years and always a gentleman.

We’re going to miss ya Bud.

28. September 2005 · Comments Off on My Gwee · Categories: Memoir

Beautiful Wife did laundry yesterday and changed out the linens. Yeah, clean sheets…love that feeling. She’d also managed to gather up the afghan Gorgeous Daughter had crocheted for my birthday a couple of years ago, but it wasn’t on the bed, under the bed or anywhere around the bed, but I was ready to go to bed. The nights here have been wonderful for sleeping lately, down in the high 50s/low 60s and with the bedroom window open, all you need is the spread and an afghan. I put my slippers back on and headed back downstairs.

Me: “Honey, where’s my gwee?”

BW: “I’m sorry, it’s still in the wash with mine. The one you’re Mom made you is in the gwee box.”

Some of you are scratching your head and wondering if I had a spell check malfunction. Others have it figured out. Some of you suspect. It’s family speak.

Every family has some. Made up words for everyday things. “Gwee” was a Boyo invention from back before he could walk. He was exploring the floor and had tuckered himself out. He was about to drop off right there on the spot but he kept stretching and crying and muttering “Gwee-gwee-gwee-gwee.” I looked at him…I looked where he was looking…I saw his baby blanket and I got up and picked it up…”GWEE-GWEE-GWEEEEEE!” I held up his blanket and asked, “Gwee?” “GWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!” After I picked up the fillings he’d loosened with his primal, dog torturing shreek, I handed him his gwee and from that moment forward, every blanket, comforter, afghan, beach towel used as a blanket because we’re too lazy to go find a real one has been “gwee.” Always will be as far as we’re concerened.

Give us some of your family speak in the comments. You know you have some. Woobies? Binkies? Ca-caroos?

25. September 2005 · Comments Off on Byzantine · Categories: General, History, Memoir

We bumptious Americans are always being reminded by everyone from Henry James on, that things in Europe are old, historic, and ancient. We are told that some places are piled thick in layers of events, famous people and great art, like some sort of historical sachertorte… and to a student of history, certain places in Europe are exactly that sort of treat. What they hardly ever mention is that most usually, the most ancient bits of it are pretty sadly battered by the time we come trotting around with our Blue Guide, and what there is left is just the merest small remnant of what there once was. The sanctuary at Delphi once was adorned with statues of gold, silver, bronze… and they were the first to be looted and melted down (all but one, the great bronze Charioteer) leaving us with the least and cheapest stone, sadly chipped, battered and scarred. (My daughter at the age of three and a bit, looking at a pair of archaic nudes in the Delphi museum asked loudly “Mommy, why are their wieners all broken off?”) The great Athenian Akropolis itself was half-ruined, many of the blocks of which it was constructed scattered across the hillside like gargantuan marble legos. In Rome, most of the ancient buildings had been stripped long ago of the marble and stone facings, leaving only the battered concrete and tile core to hint at what splendor had once been… and again, only the smallest portion left to us to admire, the smallest, cheapest portion, or that hidden away by chance.

But there was one place, just one place where the last few artistic relics of the classical world looked as fresh, as unmarred as if they had just been installed the day before, in the little provincial town of Ravenna, where the VEV needed a new air hose and some other essential innards, and fortuitously mushed to a halt right in front of the very garage capable of providing it, although the junior mechanic had to rush off on his Vespa to fetch the essential parts from another source. I was driving to Spain from Greece, having taken the car ferry from Patras to Brindisi three weeks before, in a bright orange Volvo sedan with AFG plates and all of my daughters’ and my luggage crammed into the trunk and the back seat.

We had just come from the grand artistic buffet that was Florence, crowded with tourists and tour guides, and touts, enormous motor-coaches everywhere, and everywhere the grasping hand, wanting a substantial payment to see this or that. It was actually a relief to get to Ravenna, which in contrast seemed like a graciously hospitable place, proud in a casual sort of way about the monuments and churches with their splendid late classical mosaics, imbedded into their pretty little town like raisins in a loaf of raisin bread. The Arian Baptistery was, if I remember correctly, down a little side street in back of a large chain drug store. Most of the other places that drew tourists were in similarly modest locations; no crowds, no touts, no being nickeled and lire’d to death. Local residents just seemed enormously pleased that people came all the way to Ravenna to marvel at their lovely, historical chapels and churches, and some smaller sites asked nothing more of the tourists than to feed come coins into a meter that would turn on the spotlights in the Mausoleum of Galla Placida, so we could better admire the mosaics in the ceiling.

There was no need for the meters and lights in the New Church of St. Appollinaire, with it’s splendid procession of saints and martyrs along the nave. Windows allowed the autumn sunlight to spill into the church, and outside when the winds rippled the tree leaves, the whole wall seemed to shimmer, in a blaze of gold and rich colors. Much of the mosaic was made of glass, tiny squares and slips of jewel-colored glass, or clear glass backed with gold-leaf. In San Vitale, Justinian and Theodora looked down from amidst their courtiers, generals, priests and ladies, and in the old sanctuary of St. Appollinaire-in-Classe (Classe, which had once Ravenna’s port on the Adriatic) the Savior was enthroned in a lush green garden, amid a flock of sheep under a golden sky full of angels… all of it as jewel-bright, new, and unchipped by time, as if the artists, and tile-cutters and plasterers had just finished the work last week, not twelve hundred years ago, a last splendid blaze at the end of the Roman Empire in western Europe. For a very brief time, this out of the way little provincial town had been the capital of the Western Roman Empire, the last flickering light of civilization in a darkening world, rent by war and barbarian invasion, and the memory of times when things had been much, much better.

When these mosaics were being installed, the dark ages were already falling, the Legions gone from Britain, the roads and forts and harbors falling derelict without the skill and direction to keep such massive works functioning. There was no one left to see to the waterworks, to protect the essential trade and communication which was the lifeblood of the Empire. Science and literacy were useless luxuries in the face of the brute barbarian tide, and the stifling hand of religious orthodoxy. The remnant of the Empire remained for a little while in the east, in Byzantium which was renamed Constantinople, the city of Constantine, but all it’s battles after that were defensive; static and scholeric looking to the past, to the way things had always been done. There is a sadness and resignation to the mosaics of Ravenna, as if those who were pictured, and those who did the work already knew their world was in twilight, and not much could be done to hold back the night, but it didn’t matter, because the next world would be a better one.

There was no confidence left in their society, no belief in their ability to make things better; all they had was a determination to hold on to what they had, to put off acceptance of the inevitable as long as possible. In the end, Constantinople would fall as well, and the last of the Roman Empire would be gone forever, but the mosaics of Ravenna remain. For now, anyway.