26. July 2005 · Comments Off on First Cup of Coffee (050726) · Categories: General Nonsense

One of the small joys of life is knowing that you have to mow your lawn or risk getting a ticket from the lawn nazi, and it’s over 90 degrees outside with over 50% humidity and then a long-haired kid with a mower shows up about a half hour before you were getting your lazy butt out of your recliner and offers to do it all for 15 bucks. I gave him $20, that 30 degree grade in the backyard diving down into a culvert is a pain in the ankles…and dammit, it was just HOT outside. I got a bargain.

Adding to the joy factor was a line of thunderstorms that waltzed their way across our area last night. Okay, so they knocked out power fo a couple hours, but they also dropped the temperature by 30 degrees. I can reset the clock on the microwave all day long.

Yes I really do enjoy being bald. It’s relatively low maintenance because I can shave as much or little as I want, depending on my mood. What’s really fun is adding a particularly oily moisturizer to it when I know I’m going to be someplace where there are people who simpy HAVE to touch it. The look on their faces as they sort of look at their hand wondering what they’re supposed to do next is worth any nick or cut. Seriously folks, what makes it okay to walk up to a bald guy and rub his head? Friends, I don’t mind so much. Lady friends especially. Them I’ll warn. It’s the gals or guys I don’t know so well but act like they know me and they rub my head? I would like to say, “Yes, I just spooged in your hand, that’s what you get.” but I behave…most of the time…it’s me we’re talking about…shrug.

An executive officer asked me yesterday if I was always such a smartass…I paused a moment and asked, “Haven’t ya met me sir?” He smiled and I was dismissed. I love making Marines grin.

What if I don’t want Bill Gate’s frisking me? I swear to God if Apple starts getting any more games at all for their computers, we’re switching. I’m so tired of the arrogance of MicroSoft. “Billions of lost revenue.” That’s hard to swallow coming from one of the richest firms on earth. Check your key codes and get out of my box. …Which would be a really good name for an all-girl punk band… Apologies to Dave Barry.

Have I mentioned Radio Paridise lately? Commercial free, listener supported web-radio. There morning line-up is always pleasant and just enough to get things moving in my skull.

I’m liking the new Harry Potter book so far. No spoilers please. Let’s be civilized.

I’m looking forward to the latest by P.J. O’Rourke, which I somehow waited for to come out in paperback. What a great title for a book: “Peace Kills: America’s Fun New Imperialism.”

Coffee’s done and it’s time to suit up and show up. Happy Tuesday.

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