22. July 2004 · Comments Off on Gladys Kravitz to the Rescue · Categories: Ain't That America?

Quotes from the most unintentionally funny article I’ve read in quite some time:

One wore a yellow T-shirt and held a McDonald’s bag.

The man with the yellow shirt and the McDonald’s bag sat across the aisle from us

The man in the yellow T-shirt got out of his seat and went to the lavatory at the front of coach — taking his full McDonald’s bag with him. When he came out of the lavatory he still had the McDonald’s bag, but it was now almost empty

After the Saga of the McDonald’s Bag, it becomes an espionage novel:

Before he could finish his statement, the flight attendant pulled him into the galley. In a quiet voice she explained that they were all concerned about what was going on. The captain was aware. The flight attendants were passing notes to each other. She said that there were people on board “higher up than you and me watching the men.”

Approximately 10 minutes later, that same flight attendant came by with the drinks cart. She leaned over and quietly told my husband there were federal air marshals sitting all around us. She asked him not to tell anyone and explained that she could be in trouble for giving out that information. She then continued serving drinks.

About 20 minutes later the same flight attendant returned. Leaning over and whispering, she asked my husband to write a description of the yellow-shirted man sitting across from us. She explained it would look too suspicious if she wrote the information. She asked my husband to slip the note to her when he was done.

Wait a minute–

The interrogators seemed especially interested in the McDonald’s bag

No one inspected the contents of the two instrument cases or the McDonald’s bag.

One thing’s for sure: It probably wasn’t carrying a McRib.

But I wonder, if 19 terrorists can learn to fly airplanes into buildings, couldn’t 14 terrorists learn to play instruments?

This one’s made the rounds at work and has become the comedy du jour of the moment. It’s been suggested that it be made into a Lifetime Movie of the Week, with a title like, “Not Without My Oboe” or “Big Mac Attack: Terror at 30,000 Feet” or “Incident at the Loo: A Woman’s Struggle” or “The Man in the Yellow T-Shirt: A Moment of Truth Story”.

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