I’ve got 9 messages–Nine Freakin’ Messages!–on my machine from the Republican Party reminding me to vote.

I’m not a registered Republican. Why are you bothering me? So help me, if I get one more call, I will vote for the other Party out of spite. There’s a reason we have a National Do Not Call list: People don’t like getting a million phone calls from assholes they don’t know trying to sell them crap–that includes political parties.

Democrats: Don’t get any ideas, either.