27. April 2006 · Comments Off on Home On the Range (A Fisking) · Categories: General Nonsense, Rant

Oh give me a home,
Got that covered. We got into base housing within a week and I still feel icky that I get this many square feet because of my rank and one son while airmen with a pregnant wife have to wait until she actually has the baby to get a decent place to live on base. Off base seems nice but it’s expensive. Something about a jumping mouse living where developers want to build. Sigh.

Where the buffalo roam,
I don’t know about roam, but there’s plenty of buffalo in the meat section of the commisary and at WalMart. Tastes a lot like beef, but buffer.

And the deer and the antelope play,
Haven’t seen any deer myself but the antelope sure are feisty. What’s interesting is when they decide to head straight for the road en masse and don’t look like they’re going to stop. Since they’re protected on base, they have the right of way and I guess it’s your fault if they hit you. The First Sergeant says that he’s never seen that pushed, but for the love of all that’s holy, don’t YOU hit one.

Where never is heard a discouraging word,
Oh give me a freaking break. It’s an Air Force Base for goshsakes!

And the skies are not cloudy all day.
Well not all day. That seems to be true. It may be cloudy one minute and clear the next and then raining like hell in another few minutes and then there was the snow storm earlier in the week that came right after a 75 degree day…but no, not cloudy all day at all.

On an entirely different track and while I’ve still got your attention…it could happen… When did airmen get both so dumb and so smart? Seriously, there are some amazingly smart young folks that I’m meeting, but there are also some incredibly stupid ones wandering around. And what’s all this “Sir.” stuff? When did that become normal? I was only on J-Staff for eight years but there’s an entire generation of young folks, both smart and stupid, calling me “Sir” with a big smile on their faces.

And in the name of Mohammed on a Moped (PBUH) when did Lieutenants get so damn YOUNG? I swear one I talked to today doesn’t have to shave more than twice a week yet.

But I digress. It’s good to be back on the front range of the rockies. Comforting. Amazing skies. Prarie dogs frolicking happily on the road right before a semi flattens them into furry pizzas.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhh Home.

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