I just saw a commercial, sponsored by Anheuser-Busch, which touted beer-drinkers as “the nation’s best moderators.” Oh, give me a break.

Survey after survey has shown that, even among hard-core boozers, those with the greatest tendency towards moderation are those who drink it “straight”, or nearly so – “say, scotch-on-the-rocks, or a very-dry-martini.”

The fact is, the harshness of high-proof beverages produces a self-moderating effect. Save for a few real zoners, the hard-core drinkers consume at 30 proof or less.