31. August 2005 · Comments Off on To Do List · Categories: General Nonsense

Needed something light and meaningless. From Ravenwood.

A List of Things Every Man Should Do Before He Dies

1. Shoot a gun larger than a .22. (Yep)
2. Teach a kid to shoot. (Define “kid.” Boyo hasn’t been shooting yet and guns aren’t allowed where we’re going so I’m gonna have to hold out.)
3. Cook a meal out in the open. (Done many times and not just “grilling” either.)
4. Kill an animal which can kill you. (No, and hopefully never will.)
5. Taste a good brandy (no French cognacs need apply) and a fine single malt Scotch. (I’ve overachieved this one.)
6. Visit at least eight countries outside your own continent, none of which speak your home language. (Only four so far.)
7. Read any six Shakespeare plays. (I’ve read them all at least once…some of them really shouldn’t be read.)
8. Win a solo sporting competition—anything that involves physical exercise. (When I was MUCH younger.)
9. Be part of a winning sports team. (Does bowling count?)
10. Make love with a woman in a forbidden place. (Yep.)
11. Have a strange woman invite you home with her; and refuse her, because you’re married. (Done more than once.)
12. Build something tangible—out of wood, steel, brick, whatever. (Done. That reminds me, we need new bookcases.)
13. Sit up all night comforting a sick child. (One of the times I KNEW I was a Dad.)
14. Tell the truth, where a lie would both be undiscoverable, and keep you out of trouble. (The truth’s just easier on my karma, besides being honest in these cases really freaks out some people so…bonus!)
15. Watch at least one real virtuoso play a musical instrument—in any kind of music. (I consider Eric Clapton such a man, done.)
16. Perform on stage (music, theater, whatever), to a large (500+) audience. (Many times.)
17. Play at least one musical instrument competently. (I fail miserably here, but still want to learn how to play the guitar.)
18. Make love to a woman at least ten years older than you are. (And that was long ago and far away as well.)
19. Tell a government bureaucrat to fuck off. (Do it all the time I’ve just learned to use words that won’t get me court martialled.)
20. And finally: tell a true story to your grandchildren. (Boyo technically is my grandchild but I’ll wait until he has kids to call this one done.)

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