13. June 2005 · Comments Off on Michael Jackson Aquitted of All Charges · Categories: Ain't That America?, Stupidity, That's Entertainment!

In a move that literally stunned millions who have been watching, pop singer Michael Jackson was today aquitted of all ten counts with which he had been charged. The jury sent word of a verdict around 12:15 PM, PT, and the verdict was read when all the principals were in place at 2:00 PM, 5 PM ET. Thousands of fans were gathered outside the Santa Barbara County courthouse listening to their pocket radios when the verdict was read by the court clerk, and they erupted in shouts and screams of joy as the “not guilty” verdicts were read.

The Jackson family emerged from the courthouse minutes later, looking much more confident than when they entered. They all entered their characteristic black SUV’s and headed for Jackson’s Neverland Ranch.

Tom Sneddon, the District Attorney for Santa Barbara and Santa Maria, responded to questions in a short news conference after the trial. When asked if he was finished with his chase of Michael Jackson, he responded, “No comment.”

So, what happens next? No one knows, we shall see.

31. May 2005 · Comments Off on “Deep Throat” Revealed After 30 Years · Categories: Ain't That America?, General, Politics

According to this story the identity of the person known as “Deep Throat”, a term coined by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein of the Washington Post during the Nixon Impeachment times, has been revealed as 91-year old W. Mark Felt, the FBI’s number 2 man during the early 1970’s.

The question today is, does anyone really care today?

28. May 2005 · Comments Off on You’d Think She Is Dealing With The Government · Categories: Ain't That America?, General

You would think that admitting Ligaya Lagman, whose son was killed last year in Afghanistan, into American Gold Star Mothers would be a simple matter. Public sentiment is certainly with her. But, as these two conflicting AP reports (here and here) show, it ain’t that simple:

“We can’t go changing the rules every time we turn around,” said Herd, the national president. “When we have problems within our organization with people not abiding by the rules, we just get it straightened out, we don’t change the rules.”

Mrs. Lagman may not be a citizen. But she has been a legal resident here for over twenty years. But most importantly, her son, Army Staff Sgt. Anthony Lagman, gave everything in the service of America. This should be a no-brainer.

Then again, one has to wonder why Mrs. Lagman would even want to be part of such a stick-up-the-ass organization.

26. May 2005 · Comments Off on So Much For Agreements · Categories: Ain't That America?, Cry Wolf, General Nonsense, sarcasm, Stupidity

It seems the “gentlemen’s agreement” reached by the alleged “gentlemen” of the US Senate does not hold water. In fact, instead of leaking like a sieve, it apparently elicits waterfalls on its own!

On Thursday evening, just days after a group of Senate “moderate centrists” patted themselves on their backs, (breaking at least five arms in the process) congratulating themselves profusely for having saved the empire union from certain destruction by elimination of blusters filibusters, Senate Democrats totally surprised the entire world by breaking the agreement and blocking a cloture vote on” Mr. Nice”, John Bolton, the President’s pick to kick ass represent the US at the UN – or something like that! While Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist was receiving medical assistance in the cloakroom (or was it bathroom?) for having passed out in shock over the event, Majority minority leader “Dingy” Harry reid was grabbing every microphone in the corridor, while his associates and acolytes rounded up all the TV camers so he could gloat assure all of the rest of us that this was not really a filibuster.

Mr. Bolton will now have to go back to the end of the line to await his turn, and recess may be over by then, so he may not get to play at all.

Sorry for all the strikeouts, Nurse (sister) Jenny kept hitting me on the hand with a ruler.

20. May 2005 · Comments Off on We Suck! Yeah! · Categories: Ain't That America?

One of the reasons I can’t hang with most liberals any more are the negative pep rallies.

It’s like,

“Yeah, I’m an American, and my country really sucks.” “RIGHT ON.”

“Our country is the worst in the freaking world!” “TRUTH TO POWER.”

“We suck worse than anything the Soviet Union ever did.” “TELL IT MY BROTHER.”(yelled by a balding white guy with a pony tail)

“Bush is a bible thumping warmonger who wouldn’t know the truth if it went ‘nuclar’ on him.” “BUSH LIED PEOPLE DIED

You want me to pay attention? Quit already. We’ve got a rule in the Air Force…it’s unwritten…but it’s there none-the-less, if you’re going to stretch a meeting out longer by bringing up a problem, then you’d best have at least a possible solution to it for discussion…otherwise, STFU, my son’s got TaeKwonDo.
—-

Update: Or you can read Annika’s response to Pepsico’s CEO.

Mostly unrelated but don’t want to waste more space: Ever since I discovered Diet Coke with Lime…I haven’t touched a Pepsi Product. No…the Pepsi version ISN’T the same. Just sayin’…

16. May 2005 · Comments Off on Request For Information (ROI) 050516 · Categories: Ain't That America?

A comment from another post has had me thinking all day. That’s tiring and it’s interrupting my full enjoyment of Firefly (How the HELL did this get taken off television?) so I’ll be asking you all to do my thinking for me for this one:

Which freedoms have you personally lost since the Bush Administration took office? Please provide details.

And while I’m thinkin’ ’bout it, never trust a redhead you’re previously accidently married…it can only lead to trouble.

09. May 2005 · Comments Off on Goombye Raymond! · Categories: Ain't That America?, General Nonsense, That's Entertainment!

Well, they had the next-to-last “Everybody Loves Raymond” episode tonight, and if this was any hint of next week’s 90-minute nuthouse, I’d better bandage my ribs ahead of time! Anyone who loves family comedy will mourn with me when Ray Romano kills my favorite rib-buster next week. Oh, he won’t kill anyone, they will just pack up the insane asylum and move to the Jersey Shore…..

Not that there’s anything wrong with the Jersey Shore, but have you been there? What with all the oil refineries and waste dumps….Oh, right, that’s north Jersey. Ah, well, guess I just like Lon-gisland, nothing personal.

But I’m gonna miss the whole bunch of nuts!

09. May 2005 · Comments Off on True or False? 050509 · Categories: Ain't That America?, That's Entertainment!

I’ve served drinks to at least three of the people on Arianna Huffington’s new webpage, and been completely *-faced with another.

Hey! She didn’t blogroll us!

Doesn’t she know who we are?

She does?

That’s the problem?

Oh…carry on…

02. May 2005 · Comments Off on Chicago Photo-Blogging 2 · Categories: Ain't That America?

Here’s a shot we took on the Chicago River Architecture Tour which we highly recommend. E-mail me if you want it full-size.

Oh…I forgot last time. Shot with a 5 megapixel Kodak EasyShare DX4530.

02. May 2005 · Comments Off on It was a good party when….. · Categories: Ain't That America?

The Monday following the blowout weekend party is usually the best for storys about who did what, who drank what, and who streaked around base housing at 1am in the morning.
The best stories start like this:

5. “Dude!!!!”

4. “Holy S**t…..look at the size of that hicky….what was she related to…… JAWS!!!!”

3. 10am….*ring* blurry reaching for cellphone
“ugghhhh”
Voice on other end, ” uh Cpl…where does so-and-so live?”
Me: “Insh a housh…I tink.”
Voice on other end: “Uh Cpl…I got locked out when I went outside to use my phone…I’ve been wandering around trying to find the way out of base housing!”
Me: “Soookay so-and-so lives in base housing just follow this road and ish will take you to Mainside.”
Voice on other end: “Uh…..Cpl I don’t have any pants on and the neighbors dog has been chasing me for the last three blocks.”
Me:….blink blink blink…”F**k I’m on my way”.

2. “He could’nt stand for s**t but he sure did piss a perfect ring around the outside of the toilet”.

1. “See what has happened was…….”

27. April 2005 · Comments Off on Wounded Warriors Need Your Help! · Categories: Ain't That America?, Veteran's Affairs

Blackfive’s on top of it.

BACKGROUND:
On Thursday April 21st the United States Senate passed legislation yesterday creating Traumatic Injury Insurance that will issue active duty service members a payment ranging from $25, 000 to $100,000, should they incur a life altering injury while serving their nation. This legislation, known as the Wounded Warrior Bill, was introduced as an amendment to the Emergency Supplemental Funding Bill by Senator Larry Craig (R-ID), Chairman of the Senate Committee on Veterans Affairs, at the urgent request of three injured soldiers from the Wounded Warrior Project. The Traumatic Injury Insurance will make an immediate payment to the service member and their family within days of sustaining their injury to support them during their hospitalization. Additionally, the legislation passed will make Craig’s measure retroactive to the start of Operation Enduring Freedom, which began in Afghanistan on October 7, 2001.

Go read the rest of it and do that hoodoo that you do…

17. April 2005 · Comments Off on WHO NEEDS COMMERCIAL STUFF WHEN SCROUNGES RULE? · Categories: Ain't That America?, General, War

I started this out as a comment on Kevin’s post below, but it got too long, so here we go again. During the cursed 60’s, when I was a young airman in the “theater,” a lot of us were desperate to hear the voices of our loved ones back in the land of the golden BX. You know,where they had paved roads, fresh eggs, (heck, even fresh chickens!) and real, working telephones.

There were no cell phones, no satellite relay systems (unless you worked in COMM, or were a general) no commercial telephone systems that worked, and not even direct-dial long distance in the States. Yes, Virginia, there was a time when you went through a live operator just to make a long distance call. All we had was that damnable back-scatter over-the-horizon single-sideband system that was notoriously badly mistuned, leaving one, sounding like Donald Duck, with a costly session consisting mostly of “Can you hear me, Mom?”. My first OS call, from Korea, sitting inside a soundproof box, was just such a call, trying to find out if my girlfriend had received the engagement ring I had sent her, so I’d know if she was my fiance yet. After some 5 minutes of her crying, me snuffling, and the frequent “What did you say?”, I paid the princely sum of some $150 out of my monthly $178 A2C salary for a call where I still wondered if I had even talked to the right girl.

After this incident, being a “ham” operator already, I got involved with Air Force MARS. No, not space cadets, the Military Affiliate Radio System. Officially, it was the backup for the “official channels” of radio communication, and it was used for that sometimes, but mostly it was a bunch of ham operators tinkering around with AF radio equipment, playing with our hobby at taxpayer expense. It was with MARS that I got to be the king of all AF scrounges. We operated the best means of communication with the “world,” making contact with Stateside MARS stations who would put through collect calls to our homes via a “phone patch,” a device that hooked the radio up to the phone lines.

We could get anything from anyone on base. Not just supply. Midnight, in the middle of a 24-hour period of placing calls, and hungry. Call the chow hall.

Me: “Anybody there want to call the States?” Minutes later: C/H: “Hey, you guys, the MARS station has a connection to the states. Fix them a dozen ham sandwiches and get the SP’s over here to deliver them! And whoever wants to make a call get in the office here!” (Then we’d put through a call for the guy from Security Police, too.)

I got us a 15,000 watt amplifier for our radio when the Comm SQ turned one in (MO’ POWAH!). We got good, comfortable office furniture, for those long sessions sitting in front of radios. Most of what we had, though, was cast-off, second hand stuff, because officially, we were the purple-haired stepchildren of the Air Force. We worked based on how long the atmospheric propagation would allow us to have 2-way conversations with the States, and I think my record was something like 28 hours. Some days, nothing. Some days, Katy-bar-the-door, until everybody on base who wanted to call had gotten through, some more than once.

God bless one man, not with us any more: Senator Barry Goldwater (R-AZ) had about the best ham station on earth. And he had volunteers to staff it. On holidays, he would place our calls for free, and everybody got to call home without the expense of a collect call. Now, that was a man who cared about the GI’s. And everybody in the service at the time knew it.

Not only MARS operators, but a lot of folks in the service learn to be good scrounges. Sometimes I think the military really works on the backs of its best scrounges, because they know how to find what they need, be it DRMO, supply, or whereever. They are the ones who get things done, and it’s “full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes!” Here’s a salute to those unsung heroes of the war effort, I know that today they are just as important to getting things accomplished as they were back in the “old” days!

06. April 2005 · Comments Off on Hanoi Jane, Again… · Categories: Ain't That America?, General, Media Matters Not

Ordinarily, NPR is the news venue most useful for minimizing exposure to fading celebs with mounds of baggage, flogging their new doorstop around the usual book-flogging “tour d’lame” circuit. But Jane Fonda was interviewed this morning, on Morning Edition… and I was so sunk in ennui, indifference and disinterest that I didn’t even bother turning the radio up to listen… or down so I didn’t have to. My well of “just don’t care” is practically bottomless as far as she is concerned, as a singular person. She does interest me in a mild way, as being typical of a certain sort of activist dilettante, flitting from one trendy cause du jour to the next. There never seems to be any deep and abiding commitment to one particular cause amongst this sort of person, just a vague attachment to the currently most fashionable of them, as if to cover up a lack in themselves by making an ostentatious show of “caring”.

I suppose I could go back and review her notorious propaganda trip to North Vietnam, remind myself of why practically all the older guys— Vietnam-era veterans all— in my early service life despised her, and boycotted those few movies that she did appear in, in the late 1970ies. I could recall again how very, very few of those celebrity/activists who protested the war vociferously in 1968 were still around in 1975 to help pick up the pieces and resettle the refugee population from South Vietnam that their own good intentions helped create. (Buffy St. Marie is the only one who comes to mind, incidentally.) By then, Ms Fonda had already moved on to being a diet and exercise guru and from there to being a corporate media wife, and fashionable feminist. And I— along with most the rest of the world, have moved on. A good chunk of that world, if they think of her at all, think of her as someone on their mom’s excercise tapes.

The woman has been everything by turns over the last thirty-five years, but none of it for too long, or too deeply. It’s hard to feel anything much about someone so shallow, who seems to drift according to the orbit of whatever husband she was with at the time, or the whim of fashion. Bothering even to work up a dislike feels like beating up on marshmallow fluff; a waste of energy, because it’s mostly air over a creamy and attractive surface.

Bet you the book will be on the remainders table, marked down %50 in six months.

03. April 2005 · Comments Off on Humility And The Definition Of Marriage · Categories: Ain't That America?, General

Megan McArdle posts a good essay on the definition of marriage:

My only request is that people try to be a leeetle more humble about their ability to imagine the subtle results of big policy changes. The argument that gay marriage will not change the institution of marriage because you can’t imagine it changing your personal reaction is pretty arrogant. It imagines, first of all, that your behavior is a guide for the behavior of everyone else in society, when in fact, as you may have noticed, all sorts of different people react to all sorts of different things in all sorts of different ways, which is why we have to have elections and stuff. And second, the unwavering belief that the only reason that marriage, always and everywhere, is a male-female institution (I exclude rare ritual behaviors), is just some sort of bizarre historical coincidence, and that you know better, needs examining. If you think you know why marriage is male-female, and why that’s either outdated because of all the ways in which reproduction has lately changed, or was a bad reason to start with, then you are in a good place to advocate reform. If you think that marriage is just that way because our ancestors were all a bunch of repressed bastards with dark Freudian complexes that made them homophobic bigots, I’m a little leery of letting you muck around with it.

Is this post going to convince anyone? I doubt it; everyone but me seems to already know all the answers, so why listen to such a hedging, doubting bore? I myself am trying to draw a very fine line between being humble about making big changes to big social institutions, and telling people (which I am not trying to do) that they can’t make those changes because other people have been wrong in the past. In the end, our judgement is all we have; everyone will have to rely on their judgement of whether gay marriage is, on net, a good or a bad idea. All I’m asking for is for people to think more deeply than a quick consultation of their imaginations to make that decision. I realise that this probably falls on the side of supporting the anti-gay-marriage forces, and I’m sorry, but I can’t help that. This humility is what I want from liberals when approaching market changes; now I’m asking it from my side too, in approaching social ones. I think the approach is consistent, if not exactly popular.

I strongly suggest you read the whole, rather lengthy, thing – as well as the numerous comments. It’s a very good lesson in intellectual discipline. That is, with one glaring exception: Megan establishes the existence of a time-honored “institution” of marriage by observing the innumerable domestic relationships throughout history which fit her predetermined definition of marriage, and discounting, out of hand, all the myriad other domestic relationships which have existed, without any deeper analysis to determine if, in certain key elements, they are all of a kind.

Hat Tip: InstaPundit

30. March 2005 · Comments Off on New Definition of “Split Second” · Categories: Ain't That America?, General

Remember the old joke about the definition of the phrase “split second” being the time between the light turning green and the guy in back of you beeping his horn?
Well, the new definition is me, reading this in a e-mail

“I am the chairman of the contract award committee of the petroluem and
natural resources ministry here in Nigeria…”

And hitting the “delete” key.

(Actually, just seeing the word “Nigeria” triggers the delete reflex for most people.)

29. March 2005 · Comments Off on Grad Night · Categories: Ain't That America?, Domestic, General

My high school had a football team, and a senior prom, a (suspected) gay drama teacher, and the usual dramatic mix of brains, stoners, soshes, gangsters and outcasts amongst the students, but everyone gave each other lots of elbow room. The boys in the drama class gave their teacher an especially wide margin when it came to those after-school workshops, taking care to always be in groups of three or more. The coterie of brains— a loose alliance of juniors and seniors taking Honors and AE (Academically Enriched) courses— met at the third table over in the lunch room at noon, and in Herr Goulding’s third-year German class, and had nothing but lofty derision and scorn for such things as school spirit, the football team, student government, and the “soshes”— the school social set.

They were the glamorous, attractive, and popular kids who rated not only pictures of their chic selves in singles and couples in the pages of the school annual, but appeared multiple times in the various group photos of various clubs. We brains derived sardonic amusement out of noting that if there were twenty brains and one sosh in a club, invariably the sosh would be the president of it. We derived even more amusement from the suspicion that for a lot of soshes, high school would be the peak of their whole lives. Like the stoners, gangsters and the outcasts, we were only putting up with it, as long as our parents, teachers and truant authorities all variously insisted we had to be there. We could hardly wait for the day that we could pack up our high GPAs and our outstanding SATs and swap the Depression-era Spanish Colonial precincts of Verdugo Hills High for college! For real academic challenges! For a bigger library than the single long, book-lined room, where I had already read every bit of fiction and most of the interesting non-fiction. Not for us all that pseudo Ken-and-Barbie stuff; we had plans! Real plans, beyond this conformist sports-letter and student-council sucking up to the oppressors in this soulless teen-aged concentration camp, moving like automatons from class to class every 55 minutes… oh, yeah, by the calendar, the 1960ies were official over, but the aftereffects still lingered.

And there was a bigger problem for us, with that whole prom mind-set. It was a couples kind of thing… you know, for people who were going steady or dating. The brains who were my friends, the coterie around the lunchroom third-table-over were overwhelmingly male, three our four girls to a dozen or twenty boys… and boys who were, to be fair, not at the peak of their physical attractiveness, or social assurance. (The male of our species is NOT at his best at the age of 14-18. Trust me on this. Or look at your own high school annual.) And besides that, we were all friends; it would be icky to pair off with one of them— like dating your brother.

It really never occurred to any of the rest of us to go stag, or with a mixed circle of friends. Tradition still had enough of a hold that we didn’t even consider it. And it was a sosh kind of party; all rented tuxedos for the boys, and for the girls, shiny sateen prom dresses, towering architectural hair, stiff with hairspray, and a spackling of Maybelline over an acne outbreak, raccoon eyes shadowed and mascaraed to a farethewell. It didn’t really look like all that much fun, and the costs— dress, tux, tickets, even in those fairly undeveloped days— were something to consider. We were above it, anyway. And grad night, which cost only half as much as a prom ticket… no contest as far as the chance of having fun and not looking like a dork went.

Grad Night at Disneyland had only been started a few years before, so it was still being held on one single night, usually the evening after commencement exercises. Graduating seniors converged on Disneyland from all over California for Grad Night, from San Diego, from the string of towns along the Central Valley— there was even a graduating class that flew in from Honolulu. The parking lot in Anaheim became a shoal of yellow school busses, bringing in more and more grads, all neatly and formally dressed; the theory is that if you are dressed in your best, you will tend to behave. I wound up sharing a seat in the grad night bus with John W., whom I had known since 5th grade, when he was plump and pallid and looked like he had been carved out of a potato. He didn’t talk much then (or ever) but he had built a whole model of a frontier fort out of wooden matchsticks, everything beautifully detailed, with tiny trees and little hills and a gravel road, and after that everyone knew he was super-intelligent, but since he never talked much… well, no one had any idea of exactly how intelligent. In junior high, a good friend of mine who had ambitions to be the Dolly Levi of the 8th grade, had tried to match us up, on the grounds that we were both so brainy, we must have lots in common… but yeesh! She was talking inarticulate, potato-boy here, not Shawn N. (on whom I had an enduring crush, from about the 7th grade on, until well after high school graduation). My friend’s clever matchmaking scheme didn’t work— until the bus ride to Disneyland, and we had to share a seat because we were the only two not paired with a friend, already.

It actually turned out to be quite pleasant; John actually warmed up and made intelligent conversation, now that we were both sprung from constraints of high school— nothing like what anyone had ever expected from him. They herded us unto Disneyland, and locked the gates in mid-evening, and after that the whole place belonged to the seniors, until sunrise the next morning; all the rides were free, there were shows and music, and fairy lights glittering in the trees, the arcades and restaurants were open all night. Although most of the kids started to drag, along about four in the morning, and recumbent bodies strewn everywhere— sleeping on the benches, or on the soft grass, under the stars and the lights—Oh, it was wonderful, and fun, and a great way to celebrate leaving high school behind. I don’t have any pictures, and I never saw John again, as he was off to study nuclear engineering at a state university somewhere, but I’ll hold that there is no possible way that any prom, anywhere in the world, could ever beat Grad Night, 1972.

07. March 2005 · Comments Off on What is AIDS? · Categories: Ain't That America?

Dean’s posted a very good email conversation that he’s been having with Chuck Ortleib on what AIDS is and isn’t.

I’ve lost four people from my life to this thing. I’ll reserve my own comments because frankly, I get too angry to see straight if I go there.

19. February 2005 · Comments Off on The Latest Word In One-Upmanship · Categories: Ain't That America?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the International RXT:


International RXT

The International RXT represents a whole new game for truck owners who demand, well, everything. Sleek and refined looks. Powerful performance. A remarkably spacious interior. A smooth, comfortable ride. Excellent hauling capability. The RXT is a complete player. And like a superstar athlete, this truck is sure to attract a crowd wherever it goes.

  • GVW Range: 25,000 lbs
  • Payload Capacity: 6-8 tons
  • Towing: Suitable for a variety of hauling configurations. (9-12 tons)
  • Drivetrain: Up to 300 horsepower
  • Exterior Features: 4×2 Crew Cab; 8-foot pickup bed; aero front bumper and rear bumper; aero front bumper valance and side skirts
  • Interior features: Center console; premium sound system, Black leather seats; full carpet

I can’t wait to see one of these babies slammed.

Update: I have actually seen a few (custom) rigs like this before. They were owned by high-bucks 5th wheel RV’ers. And, rather than the pickup bed, they had a low-boy tow-truck bed, with a 5th wheel hitch, instead of a hoist. The common story I got from the owners was, “those pick-up truck dualies just can’t take the abuse.”

13. February 2005 · Comments Off on The Republic Of Texas Shall Rise Again · Categories: Ain't That America?

While they have a reputation as a bunch of nutjobs, this collection of Lone Star dissidents is going mainstream:

OVERTON, Tex. – The road to the capitol winds through a landscape of pine trees, rusting pump jacks and a few tidy churches in this East Texas town. Literature in the lobby describes how citizens can apply for passports or enlist in the interim defense forces.

The building is the headquarters of the Republic of Texas, a sometimes militant organization whose members repudiate the authority of Austin and Washington and believe Texas should be a sovereign nation. The group gained notoriety eight years ago when some members took a couple hostage in the Davis Mountains of West Texas, and endured a weeklong siege by more than 100 police officers, after which a follower who fled into the mountains was killed. The leader of the faction involved in the standoff is still in prison.

But after several years of infighting and the expulsion of renegade splinter cells, the group has resurfaced here in Overton under a new leader, Daniel Miller. Mr. Miller, recently interviewed in Houston, said he wanted to distance the organization from its violent past and from its image as a white-supremacy movement. He said his new platform advocates Texas sovereignty without the use of guns or explosives.

“We are not extremists,” said Mr. Miller, 31, dressed in a tailored suit and cowboy boots. “We simply believe we were illegally occupied by the United States in the 1800’s.”

[…]

Brenda Tompkins, a waitress at Granny’s restaurant, said, “One of them came in here and gave me one of their silver coins with a star on it,” referring to the alternative currency the group has minted. “They’re low-profile mostly.”

The organization re-established itself here in 2003 with the acquisition of the building that would become the capitol, the first time the group has had an official base. Chief Williams said that since then, there have been a number of confrontations with local officials.

He said his officers have fined or issued arrest warrants for group members. Violations included carrying Republic of Texas passports instead of a driver’s license; driving unregistered vehicles; and redesigning license plates to show a Texas that includes significant chunks of territory in New Mexico and narrow strips of land in Oklahoma, Colorado and Wyoming. Group members say those areas are part of Texas, wrongly wrested away by Washington.

Republic of Texas members have responded, the chief said, by marching into the local district attorney’s office and threatening to fire him, and claiming in lengthy letters to county officials that jurisdiction over such matters lies with their own government, which includes a president, Mr. Miller; cabinet secretaries; and militia-style sheriffs, deputies and rangers.

Much of the group’s ideology is associated with nostalgia for the nine years when Texas was an independent country after seceding from Mexico in 1836. The blue Burnet flag from that time, with a large gold star in its center, flies over the capitol.

Group members believe that Texas’s referendum in 1845 in favor of joining the United States was illegal, as were the settlements of land claims that Texas then had against neighboring Mexican and American territories in the West. They also advocate the creation of an alternative monetary system using minted silver and gold coins. One coin made of one gram of silver has a large Texas star in its center and the word “Overton” emblazoned around it.

The organization’s beliefs are spelled out in the book “Texans Arise,” written by Mr. Miller and Lauren Savage, the vice president.

“We believe independence is an achievable goal,” Mr. Miller said in the interview.

Mr. Miller was vague about how to accomplish this, but he said that establishing a parallel government and performing government functions like issuing passports were essential.

“People feel disenfranchised,” he said. “In Overton we’ve found a quiet area to forward our views.”

Mr. Miller acknowledged that the group was still almost entirely Anglo, although he said he was encouraging factions to look for a broader range of members. He also said he was discouraging activities like armed patrols of the Mexican border to limit immigration. And he said his administration, unlike some splinter cells, did not base its political philosophy on Old Testament beliefs, did not oppose women’s suffrage and did not support a return to a legal system permitting slavery.

But some who know the group’s history in Texas are not convinced that the group’s changes are more than superficial.

“It only behooves some extremist groups to attempt to appeal to a broader audience in order to recruit new members,” said Dena Marks, associate director of the Anti-Defamation League’s office in Houston, which tracks the Republic of Texas and other militia-style groups in the state. “The core beliefs of Republic of Texas, which include establishing Texas as a sovereign entity, have not changed.”

Every oppressive regime needs its civil disobedients.

10. February 2005 · Comments Off on Warm, Breathing & Avant-Garde · Categories: Ain't That America?, General

Since everyone else in the blogosphere has taken a couple of manly thwacks at the academic carcass of Ward Churchill, the dunce of the University of Colorado ethnic studies department, I didn’t think there was a need for moi to pile on… but what the hell. I’ve got the bile and the energy left over from ripping Eason Jordan, a far more suitable target. I can always make the time to mock a guy who looks like the late Susan Sontag in bad drag, anyway. Professor Churchill is just the lagniappe, the dessert truffle… and besides, they had a story about him on NPR Morning edition this morning. Someone over there must have learned how to do a google search, and skim Instapundit, so there may be hope for them still. The story left out all the amusing stuff— the faux-Indian pretensions, the Che-revolutionary posing, the crack-pot political theorizing and the extremely dubious scholarship— and simply dealt with it as a matter of academic freedom. In other words, the right of academia to traffic in unpopular ideas without having your ass canned with extreme prejudice and a couple of burly campus security officers.

Well, it certainly doesn’t get much more unpopular, idea-wise, than suggesting that people who worked in the Twin Towers were all functionaries of a Nazi state, that they were all “little Eichmans” and richly deserved to die by fire, fall or collapsing building. I am sure if he really worked at it, he could have thought up something much more richly insulting, more hurtful, more calculated to outrage the taxpayers of the state of Colorado who (for some bizarre reason!) provide him with an insanely generous paycheck… but.

Oh, yes, the big “But”…. NPR was right; academic freedom means putting up with stuff you don’t agree with. In fact, there ought to be more of it; a lot of people on college campuses everywhere ought to be hearing a lot more of stuff they don’t agree with, but that’s a rant for another occasion. Getting back to the good Professor, though— there is a better reason to keep him. Given the sort of poseur he appears to be, he would milk being fired for even more. Oh, yeah, make me a martyr to the altar of academic freedom, baby! Crushed under the wheels of the fascistic state for the crime of speaking truth to power! I can already hear the interview on NPR, with Juan Williams going all gooey and wobbly-voiced over how poor, poor Professor Churchill was savaged, savaged by the mob of reactionary right-wing death beasts. I have a low nausea threshold, and would prefer not to barf up my morning cup of tea with milk, one tsp sugar, and slice of wheat toast with honey, so I think they should keep him. After all, they hired him, on what looks like very thin qualifications; warm, breathing and theatrically avant-garde. Figuring out who exactly approved him for tenure, and why would provide another vein of rich amusement.

And that brings me to the main reason I think they should keep him; for the sheer amusement value. Professor Churchill has inestimable value as the bulls-eye for metaphoric target practice; chained to the academic stocks as it were, focus for scorn, derision, for deconstruction of his fraudulent scholarship, vilely insulting writings and speeches, his questionable status as a “native American”, extremely thin academic qualifications, bullying demeanor, and general fuckwittedness. There is just so much good materiel to work with; we could go on laughing at him for years, picking him up in the intervals between bigger and more transient matters for a little more thrashing, much like my cats derive hours of amusement and exercise from batting around palmetto bugs. I’d rather go back and thrash him every one in a while for practice, than have him all over the media being a martyr.
Besides, I have the feeling that being laughed at, long and heartily is a far, far more subtle and lingering torment. What say you all?

02. February 2005 · Comments Off on Happy Groundhawg Day · Categories: Ain't That America?

I heard this on the 2 Guys Named Chris show this morning on the way into work:

Lexington Pig Does Not See
Shadow; Spring On The Way?

18. January 2005 · Comments Off on American Idol · Categories: Ain't That America?, That's Entertainment!

It’s like watching a wreck…you want to turn away, hit the mute button, but you just can’t.

I’m rootin’ for the rock-dude who left his band even though I know he prolly won’t make it very far.

I don’t think they should have the seriously emotionally disturbed people on the show. I don’t mind the folks who were delusional, but the folks completely divorced from reality…not entertaining, way too exploitive.

Was it just me or did Mary Roach remind you of the kids in high school who knew all the words to every Grateful Dead song and played with their fingers in front of their face too much? You know…the ones who could make Frisbees do things that freaked your Physics Teacher out. There was THAT kind of intensity there. They didn’t have Teret’s but at any moment they might just start giggling and talking about the bunnies and how the General was going to get you. Made sure the radio stayed on the rock station when they were around ‘cuz pop would just wig them out.

17. January 2005 · Comments Off on To the Farthest Shore · Categories: Ain't That America?, General

Found this amusing nugget here; apparently this B-grade German movie actress spent a year trying to break into the Hollywood A-list, without any appreciable success, and now is going the media rounds back home in dear old’ Deutschland being (understandably) ungracious about the experience… and generally slagging off the rest of the country—seemingly without ever setting foot outside the fabled environs of So Cal show-biz. Well, it’s kind of like going to the Cannes Film Festival, and then holding forth as an expert on all of France, past and present. Or hitting the highlights of New York, and Disneyland and Hollywierd, and assuming that is all there is and all you ever need to see of America. I would make the following suggestions for an itinerary to a traveler from another country who wants to get a more nuanced idea of what lies between the coasts.

1. Don’t fly— it’s too easy then to miss what a big country it is, and how varied. Rent a car, or a camper-van, and drive— it’s how we do it. Drive across the country, from north to south, east to west, on the interstates when you have to, but the secondary roads are more fun. It’s a big country. There are stretches of interstate in the West where it can be 100 miles to the next gas, and nothing in sight constructed by humans save the highway itself. A hundred and fifty years ago, it took six months for travelers on foot, horseback, ox-drawn wagons or mule trails, making fifteen miles a day if they were lucky, and following barely visible trails from the Missouri River to the west coast. There are still wide-open spaces… quite a lot of them actually.

2. This trip, pretty much avoid any place that has had big movie or a long-running TV show set in it. Fargo ND and Paris, TX are exceptions.

3. Stay in campgrounds, B and B’s, family run-hotels in small towns. Eat at non-chain places well off the road, especially if half the vehicles parked out front are battered pickups with local plates, and half are well-kept vehicles with out of state plates. Find these places by chatting up people you meet, around mealtimes, and ask them where they would go for a good bite to eat.

4. Shop at a big American supermarket a couple of times: doesn’t matter which one. A Smiths, Food Lion, HEB, Ralph’s, Albertsons. Even a super-Wal-Mart.

5. Go to a local little-theater presentation, a Friday-night football game in a small Texas town, a weekend farmers’ market/swap meet, a church pot-luck supper, a Civil War re-enactors encampment, a state fair, a Rocky Mountain rendezvous, a military base open house, a town festival— strawberry days, artichoke days, pioneer days, whatever days. Go to an arboretum, a public garden, a rally of whatever sort of vehicle takes your fancy and fits your schedule; antique cars, motorcycles, old airplanes. Stop to look at historical markers, roadside attractions, strange and wonderful local creations. Take the scenic route, the long way round, pull off and take pictures at the look-out point. Sleep under the stars once or twice.

Take a couple of months to do this, and you’ll have a better idea of what it’s about than all our movies and television could ever give you. These suggestions and any others that may be added by readers in the comments go double to any of our own major media creatures who were gob-smacked by the results of the November election.

16. January 2005 · Comments Off on Not Suprised a Bit · Categories: Ain't That America?, General Nonsense

Some recent news stories have mentioned that the current President Bush and former President Clinton have actually become friends, shocking both sides of the spectrum. It doesn’t suprise me. I voted for both of them. The things that those two men were able to convey to me was that they honestly had this nation’s best interests at heart.

I’m just sayin’, they’ve got a lot more in common than a lot of folks give either credit for.

12. January 2005 · Comments Off on From Angus Burger to… · Categories: Ain't That America?, Stupidity

From CNN:

WASHINGTON (AP) — The government on Wednesday told Americans to slash their calorie intake and exercise 30 to 90 minutes a day, updating guidelines that advised people to lose weight but gave few specifics on how to do it.

Sooooo, eat less and exercise more?

“Eating fewer calories while increasing physical activity are the keys to controlling body weight,” the guidelines said.

I’m just flabbergasted. Who knew?

The advice is not really new, but the government sees the guidelines as an opportunity to change people’s ways.

This is a food pyramid showing what you should eat a LOT of and what you should eat a little of. Take the hint.

12. January 2005 · Comments Off on Guilty Pleasures… · Categories: Ain't That America?, General Nonsense

Guilty Pleasures: The Meme via Michele via Rox.

CD I have in my car that I roll up the windows to listen to
Can’t think of one that I wouldn’t blast with the windows down.

Book I read flat so no one could see the title
The Summer Tree Trilogy

Crappiest song ever sung at karaoke
Jimmy Buffet – A Pirate Looks at 40
Great Song…my singing…phew!

Bad movie I watch repeatedly
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

Article of clothing I love though I know it’s wrong
I still have about three pairs of those very loose and very loud beach pants from the early 1990s.

What I order at the bar when no one is listening
A Foundation and Empire. (They tell me kids today would call it a suicide…mix all the mixers together.)

Fast food item I adore
Burger King’s Angus Steak Burger with all the crap on it. I turn into Homer Simpson….mmmmmm Angus Burgerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I don’t know if it’s the ranch dressing or what but I mean it’s just GOOD.

A TV show that is a good example of the downfall of civilization that I love anyway
I watch nothing but quality educational programming…okay fine…Fear Factor, especially when the couples are on.

Y’all need to fess up now.

05. January 2005 · Comments Off on Good Job Gentlemen · Categories: Ain't That America?

I just wanted to mention how absolutely proud I am of my current President, his predeccessor, and his father. ‘Cuz you KNOW that there’s bad blood there.

For the three of them to come together and for the two former presidents to agree to work together to raise funds for the areas devasted by the earthquake and tsunami…that just makes me grin for my country from ear to ear. Well done sirs.

USA Freedom Corps is the way the Presidents are suggesting you donate.

The Command Post also has a great set of links for donations.

Of course there’s also World Vision as suggested below. We’re all busy this morning aren’t we?

Pick your favorite charity, give a little. And no I don’t care to hear about the yahoo wearing the Osama shirt in the news photo or about the chode from the U.N. who called us stingy. Neither matters.