I am currently watching Mallrats on WE. And I have to say: if you “get it,” this show is seriously funny.
Again, I am kind of getting hung-up in the details. But the inclusion of Jay and Silent Bob kind of smoothes over all that.
Sometime ago, I can’t get through the mess in the archives to find it, I wrote some kind of nonsense about some small unimportant thing that went wrong with my computer; I spent an inordinate amount of time fixing it, but was satisfied with the the result, so I forgot about it. Here we go again. I don’t know if it’s worth it this time, I’ve been sitting here trying to correct typing mistakes for the past 20 minutes, giggling about them, and trying to eat a port chip sandwich without choking on it.(OK, just one example. PORH CHOP, folks, PORK CHOP.) Nurse & chief inquisitor Jenny is asleep in the next room, and when she finds out about this post there’s gonna be hell to pay!!
What I’m mad about tonight though is the simplleat part of a computer, the thing that whould never fail, that one thing of perfection, the mouse! Now the durn thing is cowering over in the corner sniveling and shivering under the pork chop plate I threw at it, and I am about to go over and stomp the loiving (living, not loving) daylights out of the darned lthing. These things have only two finctions in life. They have an X axis and a Y axis, and they are supposed to run in those directions when the thing is moved that way. What in the heck is so hard about that? No one shoulfdhave to fire or kill louses – mouses – for being incompetent! Why, it’s no harder than getting the right lette3r on the slcreen when it isw typed! You don’t see keyboards always getting fired do you?
I’m gonna finish my sandwafch and go kill that dang mouse, then I can get my work done.
Shawn “Obi-Shawn” Crosby and his Honda H-Wing Fighter
I know you want one! LMFAO 🙂
A thoroughbred in Australia has tested positive for cocaine.
It seems the “gentlemen’s agreement” reached by the alleged “gentlemen” of the US Senate does not hold water. In fact, instead of leaking like a sieve, it apparently elicits waterfalls on its own!
On Thursday evening, just days after a group of Senate “moderate centrists” patted themselves on their backs, (breaking at least five arms in the process) congratulating themselves profusely for having saved the empire union from certain destruction by elimination of blusters filibusters, Senate Democrats totally surprised the entire world by breaking the agreement and blocking a cloture vote on” Mr. Nice”, John Bolton, the President’s pick to kick ass represent the US at the UN – or something like that! While Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist was receiving medical assistance in the cloakroom (or was it bathroom?) for having passed out in shock over the event, Majority minority leader “Dingy” Harry reid was grabbing every microphone in the corridor, while his associates and acolytes rounded up all the TV camers so he could gloat assure all of the rest of us that this was not really a filibuster.
Mr. Bolton will now have to go back to the end of the line to await his turn, and recess may be over by then, so he may not get to play at all.
Sorry for all the strikeouts, Nurse (sister) Jenny kept hitting me on the hand with a ruler.
| What military aircraft are you?
F-15 Eagle You are an F-15. Your record in combat is spotless; you’ve never been defeated. You possess good looks, but are not flashy about it. You prefer to let your reputation do the talking. You are fast, agile, and loud, but reaching the end of your stardom.
|
| Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
End of my stardom hell, I’m just gettin’ started.
Via The Headmistress.
Your Lightsaber is Blue
Blue is often associated with depth and stability.
It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom,
confidence, and truth.
What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
Unexpected this is.
Via ASV.
Picture courtesy of David George, Chino Hills, California
Testes, Testes, 1..2..3?
Just a couple of interesting places to visit on the web:
Despair, Inc. has lots of (de)-motivational items (mugs, posters, etc.). Very funny stuff.
And the fact that I know about this site makes me one of the “cool professors.” See especially Strong Bad’s emails. I even used his email on How to Write An English Paper in my senior seminar.
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don’t care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmmmm…don’t know about how low the materialist part is…I like my stuff.
 |
You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.
|
What is Your World View? (corrected…hopefully)
created with QuizFarm.com
Via Dave J at It Comes in Pints?
Well, they had the next-to-last “Everybody Loves Raymond” episode tonight, and if this was any hint of next week’s 90-minute nuthouse, I’d better bandage my ribs ahead of time! Anyone who loves family comedy will mourn with me when Ray Romano kills my favorite rib-buster next week. Oh, he won’t kill anyone, they will just pack up the insane asylum and move to the Jersey Shore…..
Not that there’s anything wrong with the Jersey Shore, but have you been there? What with all the oil refineries and waste dumps….Oh, right, that’s north Jersey. Ah, well, guess I just like Lon-gisland, nothing personal.
But I’m gonna miss the whole bunch of nuts!
…and I’m not alone.
John McLaughlin
Question: Are you surprised that Maroulis – without question a heartthrob unmatched since since the days David Cassidy graced lunchboxes from coast to coast – was voted off of the show? Pat Buchanan.Pat Buchanan
No I am not, John, and I must point out that the entire premise of your opening segment was flawed…John McLaughlin
Flawed?? Are you challenging my expert analysis of last week’s show?Pat Buchanan
I am, if for no other reason than the fact that you completely ignored Carrie and Anthony…
Via Dean.
I don’t care who ya are…that’s funny.
I was going to rant against Michelle Malkin again this morning after reading the post where she most carefully avoids calling our First Lady a skank, but I took a deep breath and simply decided that it would be a waste of time. She’s one of THOSE conservatives who thinks that she’s somehow better than the rest of the world because she raises her pinky when she shites and there’s nothing anyone can do about that.
For various reasons I was reminded of my Great Aunt Rose. My Great Aunt Rose would smile sweetly and refer to Ms Malkin as “a Saint.” My Great Aunt Rose saves that honorific for those who have “become too high and mighty for worldly good” or those who forgot to “check their butt for the corncob.” (…from the outhouse I’ve always assumed.) “Well now…isn’t she a Saint?”
I love my Great Aunt Rose. She’s a plain spoken farm lady closing in on 100. Not overly educated but filled with Wisconsin farm common sense. She goes to mass almost every day, “Cramming for finals.” she likes to call it. I don’t know why, she’s always been one of those people I’ve looked up to for living the words instead of just reading them.
Great Aunt Rose LOVES telling the joke about milking a bull. For her it’s the definition of city folks and our cluelessness.
The irony here is practically sublime.
Update: Two more reasoned and reasonable posts about this subject at Protein Wisdom and Sisu.
This via email from reader Kayse:
Understanding Engineers – Take One
Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, “Where did you
get such a great bike?”The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take
what you want.”The first engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn’t have fit.”Understanding Engineers – Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers – Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been
waiting for 15 minutes!”The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such
ineptitude!”The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a
word with him.”“Hi George! Say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather
slow, aren’t they?”The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind
firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire
last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight.”The doctor said, “Good idea. And I’m going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for
them.”The engineer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”
Understanding Engineers – Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers – Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries
with that?”Understanding Engineers – Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.One said, “It was a mechanical engineer.” Just look at all the
joints.”Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical connections.”The last one said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would
run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”Understanding Engineers – Take Seven
“Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough
features yet”Understanding Engineers – Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it
was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the
passion and mystery he found there.The engineer said, “I like both.”
“Both?”
“Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you
are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab
and get some work done.”Understanding Engineers – Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to
him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned it to the pocket.The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a
princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
into his pocket.Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a
beautiful princess, and that I’ll stay with you for a week and do
anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool”.
Well, I think at least, here:
AARRRGGHH!! Somebody help! Mom, I followed your instructions, and have done all kinds of machinations fiddling with it, and here’s what I get! What, for Pete’s sake, am I doing wrong?
(Can’t tell… upload it again, and e-mail me exactly what it gives you for a code once it is successfully uploaded, and I’ll try editing it in—-
Sgt. Mom)
OK, I did get a few of them uploaded here so you can go look at them there, for now. And there’s a joke involved, if you can stand it!
Joe
Some people, including a lot of Americans, see things happen and they assume the worst about everyone involved. They assume there’s a cover up. They assume the politicians are lying. Of course the U.S. Military is lying because we’ve never told the truth about anything ever. I know, I was one of those folks. I believed all that stuff even as I was joining the Air Force 21 years ago.
And then life happened. I grew up. I got some experience under my belt and realized that most conspiracy theories are crap. The reason that most conspiracy theories are crap is simple; Most folks when given the opportunity will do the right thing versus the wrong thing simply because it’s the right thing to do. I know…I had a hard time believing it myself at first, and as life went on it just became more and more apparent to me that the people I’ve met in the military aren’t walking around wondering exactly how they were going to do the absolute WORST they could. They strive to do the BEST they can. Almost every one of them. There’s another reason why the most elaborate military conspiracies don’t hold up under scrutiny…we’re just not that good at keeping bizarre crap quiet…but that’s another post for another day.
Scumbags don’t last long in the military. We usually weed them out in basic or advanced training. If not, we’ll get them during an exercise when the pressure is cranked up to above and beyond normal. Sometimes though…they slip through. Rarely do they make it to the higher ranks, and even when they do…we get them…because they’re the rarity, they’re the exception, and no one has unlimited, unchecked power because though the respect of their rank may get them some coverage…without personal respect, they just don’t last. The higher you climb the more eyes you have on you, both from above and below and if you don’t have that personal respect, you ain’t gonna make it long.
Basically the military’s dirtiest, blackest, most discusting secret is that we do the best we can on a daily basis to protect our country. That’s our job. Sometimes that means we try to take care of our own dirty laundry before the enemies of our country can find out we messed up and use it against the country as a whole. We aren’t always successful. Sometimes the whole world finds out that we screwed up and our enemies get to celebrate. That means we didn’t do our job as well as we should have that day.
Yes, I believe that if the press gets ahold of something, they have the right to publish it. Absolutely. The public has the right to know. You’ll forgive us however, if we aren’t eager to help make ourselves and our country look bad in front of the world as a whole. We’re weird that way.
This is happening. Word over at Idol Tounges is that there are Vote For The Worst (VFTW) parties on college campuses. Lots of partying college kids with speed dialers dedicated to scewing the results.
Yes fans, the democrats couldn’t get students organized behind their candidate, but students can apparently organize on a national basis to keep who they consider the worst singer on American Idol.
In some ways, I’m very optimistic about the future of this country…I can’t explain it…I just am.
That’s just funny…it’s wrong…but it’s funny.
Up until this morning, I’d never heard of the Stereophonics. Judging by the 30 second blips I’ve heard on iTunes, they’re a combination of INXS when they were good, The Psychadelic Furs, and U2.
Star Wars may be a TV Show? Well, maybe it’s something that Boyo and I can watch together.
Bush Plans New Energy Proposals: Good, ‘cuz I’ve been tired lately.
On the President holding hands with Crown Prince Abdullah: Look, if you’ve ever been to Saudi or even been to an Arab neighborhood you know it’s just what they do…but yeah when my President does it I’m just kind of…shudder–ewwwwww. It’s a, “There’s no crying in baseball.” thing.
What’s with all the train crashes?
News Links via Google News.
|
Your Inner European is Irish! |
 Sprited and boisterous! You drink everyone under the table. |
Like I needed a survey for that one…
Via Sondra K.
You know what happens at my age when you drink a six pack of Diet Coke with Lime during the course of a day when you also let your commando body-sculpting instructor take you through (groan) stations? You lay in bed awake staring at the ceiling petting a (very happy) cat until well past midnight, waiting to fall asleep as muscles you didn’t even realize you had twitch and fire off static electricity. When I was a teenager that was kind of cool, laying there with the stereo playing, running through the day over and over and over again… These days…not so much…moslty because my days are so bloody boring.
What’s that? Perhaps my own sense of humor or the absurd becomes a bit warped too? Well I suppose you could make that case…
Stryker mentioned in the comments of another post that there was something about the new Pope he couldn’t put his finger on, but he didn’t like him. Perhaps this will make it easier…
For all of us Star Wars kids…this guy is never gonna feel right.
Update: So no one could have TOLD me that Stryker did this bit on DW yesterday? I feel like such a twit…which isn’t rare…but nonetheless.
Your Linguistic Profile: |
| 60% General American English |
| 15% Upper Midwestern |
| 15% Yankee |
| 10% Midwestern |
| 0% Dixie |
In other words, I’m from Chicago…
via Michele
Several months ago when I set up the wireless net in/around my house to service my newly-purchased laptop, I wrote of my joy in this post . The wireless system I went with at the time was the 802.11B, which advertises data transfer rates of up to 11 MB. I was fairly pleased with how well it worked, but something kept gnawing at me, things could be better.
Having problems getting comments and posts to work, I later purchased the 802.11G adapter for the laptop, which advertises a 54 MB speed, and the problem, for the most part, went away. But with this small mismatch, I began to realize that the system was limited by the speed of the wireless router, the slowest part of the system and the data bottleneck here. So last week, when I was in the BX, dreaming of new, high-speed computers with super capabilities, and of laptops that were new out of the box (mine came from ebay, used and cheap, but I can’t complain, I got a really good deal.), my eyes fell upon an 802.llG wireless router, and I thought, it being payday and so, hmmm, let’s get that puppy and boost the laptop speed!
Leaving the BX with my new jewel under my arm, I made the required stop by the commissary and my favorite off-base Korean restaurant for Kimchee and pulkogi, and with baited (!!) breath headed for home. After brushing my hair and combing my teeth, I started on installing the router. At first I had some mismatch problems, with the laptop not recognizing the router, but after uninstalling the adapter and re-installing it, it found the router and we were off to the races. Yep, it is noticeably faster. I don’t know what the speed works out to, but I can tell the difference between it and the “B” model. So, if you’re thinking of setting up a home wireless net, go ahead and spend the extra money for the “G” model, you’ll be much better pleased with
Hey, anybody want to buy a used 802.11B wireless system in like new condition?
HAHAHAHA, WHEEEEEE-E-E-E-E!