Who Are You? What Do You Want? Where Are You Going? Whom Do You Serve – And Whom Do You Trust?!
A Small Victory has closed. It’s gone, completely. Not even any archives. Sigh, I knew I should have saved “Don’t Pee in the Millineum Falcon.”
Michele’s moved her operation over to a new site, Faster Than the World, where she and The Turtle will be talking about cars, punk rock, or whatever else strikes their fancy.
Update: Michele sent me a link to where the story still lives.
Reader Scott sent me the full story, which is below the fold.
So our relatively new computer starts making growling noises last night, right before I had to get to bed in order to wake up early to continue working off the flab I managed to put on at my last assignment. (20 pounds in 2 months thank you very much.) So when I got off work tonight I popped the case open, hoping and praying that it’s just a little dust and not a power supply getting ready to take a dive and OMFG THE INSIDE OF MY COMPUTER IS FURRY! I could knit another cat with the fur that’s accumulated in there.
So I power off the ‘puter pull out the Kirby Supersucker (a 2000 model that’s still working better than anything else I’ve ever paid that much for), attach the hose and begin to suck out the fur that has managed to accumulate in every nook and cranny of the box paying particular attention to the power supply fan, the CPU fan, and the fan that blows across the motherboard. I also got the bear rug that had formed on the bottom of the computer. Okay. Should be good now.
I leave the case open because…well because to close it would be a sure fire way to ensure that I’d have to open it again. It’s sort of a rule. I power up the box again and…no growl…no growl…everything is sounding right. All the fans are running at full capacity with great air flow. Cool. I go to put the cover back on the case and GROWLLLlllllllllllllllllllllllllll. I knew it.
Okay, where the hell is that coming from? I turn off the box again and hit all the fans with the vacuum again. I power it back up: GROWWWWWLLLLllllllllllllll. Instead of turning it off I start poking and prodding around with a finger. By the way, important safety tip, even though those fans are low powered and plastic, they really kinda hurt when you poke your finger in them when they’re running. None of the fans are vibrating…but if I could figure out how to hook the video card up to a bed, I could put magic fingers out of business.
So I undo the screw and pop the…pop the…push the little thingy that allows me to pop the card out and…exactly how can there be that much fur stuck in that teensy weensie little fan? That shouldn’t be possible. It’s like compressed fur. It’s fur concentrate. Hit that with the vacuum and…it doesn’t more. It’s staying there. Okay, take out the jeweler’s screwdriver set take out the tiniest screwdriver and see if I can’t…CLUNK. Okay, it’s more than fur concentrate, it’s now the Kevlar of cat fur. Okay, maybe I can get under it…and nowwwww…it exploded? The fur is now the consistency of…fur. Apply vacuum and it’s all gone.
I go to put the card back in it’s slot and…sigh…the slot is furry. Vacuum and it’s all gone. Anything else? I shine the flashlight all around. No more apparent fur.
I pop the…I pop the…I push the little thingy that lets you pop the card back into the slot. Screw the card back in. Plug the monitor back in, start the computer…ahhhhhhhhhh, no growl. I wait five minutes, still no growl. NOW I put the cover back on the case and all is good.
Cats.
UPDATE: Right before bed last night…GRRRROOOOWWWLLLllllllllllll.
1.) Detailed Recruiter: “Not quite what I had in mind when I answered the online ad for two dominatrix in uniforms.”
2.) Sgt Fluffy: “Phyllis Diller and Jacylin Smith on the set of “No time for Sergeants II””
3.) MAJ Loggie: “Paging Mr. Powers, The new line of “FEMBOTS” have arrived for your inspection”
When I heard reports this week that critics hated the movie version of The DaVinci Code, I was a bit worried about going to see it. I really enjoyed the book. It was a treasure hunt, a thriller, a murder mystery. A good read. I hate it when a book I like gets turned into a really bad movie. Criticisms included that Tom Hanks looked bored, his costar Audrey Tantou couldn’t be understood because her accent was so thick, and that the audience laughed in the most inappropriate places.
I don’t know what move those critics went to see, but the one we just came back from was a lot of fun. Tom Hanks was more thoughtful than in some of his more previous roles, but I didn’t see him look bored. I could understand Audrey Tantou just fine. Her accent just wasn’t all that thick. The only time the audience laughed was in some pretty appropriate places.
As a treasure hunt movie, National Treasure was more fun and edge of your seat exciting. It’s the subject matter which makes “The Code” more interesting. Mix fact with fiction with old mythology with a healthy dose of stretching ideas to fit a point of view, and you’ve got yourself a powerful brain bender.
I’m not the guy to talk about the theological problems in this movie. In case you’ve missed it, I’m not a fan of organized religion. So I don’t get the problems that some religious folks have voiced. I didn’t find anything hertical or particularly offensive about it. The fact that there were other Gospels is historically documented. The fact that Constantine and the Council of Nicaea got together and chose the Gospels as we know the Bible today is also well-documented. I can’t speak for Constantine’s or the various Bishop’s motives…but then again, neither can anyone else.
Personally, I find the fact that the Catholic Church and other religious groups want to supress the movie much more offensive than anything the movie says about the life of Jesus. But that’s just the way I’m wired.
Mom’s reading the newspaper. Son’s watching Ed, Edd ‘n’ Eddy on the Cartoon Network. Dad’s got his laptop, surfing the net. Conversation drifts from the Transformer/General Grevious flight/fight capabilities, to the patches that non-Muslims are going to have to wear in Iran, to the showtimes for The DaVinci Code and Over the Hedge.
Funny video from a couple of guys in country. I guess they get SNL there.
I took off the streaming video because it was beginning to annoy me and it wouldn’t let me set it up to do anything but autoplay.
I’m home because one of my folks keeps ignoring me when I tell him, “Don’t come to work when you’re sick!” I swear he’s going to give a public health briefing at the next Commander’s Call.
Now excuse me as I sink back into my fluey, coughy, feels like I’ve been hit by a bus stupor.
Winners sometime Monday.
Other Caption Blogginess:
Robert Ferrigno, Author of Prayers For The Assassin is blogging. His latest post, Ahmadinejad and the Hidden Imam is about, well, The President of Iran and the Twelfth Imam.
Disclaimer: Other than sending me an advance copy of his book, I’ve received nothing but email correspondence from Robert. I’m a fan. I find the way he explains the Muslim world interesting and that’s saying a lot from a guy like me who resents having to know anything about that part of the world.
Pablo’s got some photos of what my First Sergeant calls “possible” new Service Dress Uniforms for our United States Air Force.
First of all, everyone knows that our dress uniforms make us look like businessmen with a miltary fetish or airline pilots, or bus drivers, depending on how you look at them. We need a new service dress uniform. They simply suck. They suck large. I cannot express the sucktitude that the USAF Service Dress Uniform exudes. Ask any Air Force member and they’ll tell you, they’d rather get their medal or their promotion in their BDUs or flight suits.
When it comes to the “possible” uniforms I’m thinking that we’re going in the wrong direction. I like the darker idea, but I’m a fan of David Weber’s Honor Harrington series, so I’m a bit biased there. With space becoming even more of the Air Force’s mission, we need to start acknowledging that in our uniforms.
The belt around the waist OVER the jacket and the high collar? No. Nix. Nein. Uh-uh. The fact that the silhouette of the “possible” uniforms resembles something out of WWII (and not the folks on OUR side of that conflict) bothers me from an image point of view. It’s too Nazi. It’s too Imperial Storm Trooper. Our civilian leaders keep insisting that we don’t have imperialistic intentions around the world and I’m of the mind that our military shouldn’t resemble Nazis or the most vile and evil villains from one of the most popular movie series in our liftime in any way, shape, or form.
Now…why do I put quotation marks around the word “possible?” Because if these photos are being circulated through the ranks, it means that the powers that be have pretty much decided that these are our choices and are trying to get a feel for our reaction to them.
Here’s mine: I’m thinking darker blue-black vs the straight black because I don’t think America is ready for its military to be in black. Space notwithstanding, black uniforms just have negative connotations historically and culturally. Lose the high collar and the belt. Besides the Imperial overtones, the belt will wear out long before the coat will and you KNOW if you try to replace just the belt, the shades simply won’t match and you’re going to have to buy the whole freaking jacket just because the belt wears out or you’re going to have to clean the belt multiple times until it matches. Making it a leather belt would just increase the Nazi/Imperial creep-out factor, don’t go there.
The high collar? It’s been done. It’s old. Only Marines look cool with them. I don’t know why.
Update: Andy over at Non Partisan Pundit has word that the “Hap Arnold” (open collar) will be the choice for our next go-round of sucktitude with the “Billy Mitchell” (Star Trek Collar) as our Dress Mess. Figures, the Dress Mess is the only Af Dress Uniform that’s never looked like crap.
1) Just John: “And THIS medal is just for being so gosh-darn cute, you snookie-wookum cutie-pie!”
2) DemoMan: “Colonel Wingnut presents Meritorious Giddiness Medal to Emperor of Ice Cream as Band Director and Psychiatrist look on.”
3) Stacy: “The highlight of graduation at Lackland AFB was always the naming of Basic Training King and Queen.”
See ya Friday Night.
(Comments are turned off because some folks just don’t understand that once I’ve named winners, the contest is over.)
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You scored as Cheshire Cat. You love to make no sense. You’re a smart aleck and love to play pranks on people. Confusing people to the point of frustration is your main goal in life.
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Which Alice in Wonderland Character are YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com
Boyo: “mmmmmmMMMMMMM, Germans make good cookie wafers.”
Remembering German baking. Why do people rave about German pastries and chocolate etc.?
First of all, they don’t put a ton of sugar in their recipes and there’s more butter in the crust, which is made from a fresher, less bleached flour. Their whipped creme? The same. Less sugar makes for a creamier creme.
German, Belgian, Italian, and Swiss chocolate? Here’s how we got ripped off. According to my Mom, sometime during WW II the U.S. candy companies added some kind of wax to their chocolate in order to keep it from melting when they sent it across the oceans to American troops. When they came home, their chocolate came with them. That’s also how we got M&Ms. You can get waxier chocolate in Europe, but it’s mostly a decoration thing, the shine is for show, not so much for consumption.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’ll munch a Hershey Bar and crunch a Nestle’s on occaission. And don’t even get me started on the piece of candy heaven that is the Snickers Bar. I’m just saying that those don’t make my eyes roll up in the back of my head and my leg twitch like Thumper on a frozen over pond.
The Playstation 3 has been announced. In two versions, $499.00 and $599.00.
Five and six hundred dollars for a game box.
What the HELL are they thinking?
Klansmen or commies?
Discuss.
1. James: “Resistance is fu….”
“HYAH! Go AirForce!”
2. Just John: “Good job, soldier! But you let the blue Rockem-Sockem robot get away!”
3. Jeff Blogworthy: “Tune in next week for another exciting episode of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Extreme Challenge!”
See you on Friday with another one.
Michele is back at ASV!!!
I’m soooo doing the Happy Dance. (Imagine short-bald-chubby-middle-aged guy dancing like the Caddyshack gopher..that’s if my back isn’t acting up…or head-banging like Beavis and Butthead…if my neck isn’t acting up…or…nevermind. I’m just happy to see one of my favorite bloggers back and ranting again.)
She’ll also be guest-blogging on Fridays over at Wizbang where she’ll be talking about cars, music, music to have blasting out of your car windows.
I. Am. Confused. (Insert pointing and bending fingers here.)
When exactly in our twisted American culture did it become more socially acceptable for a man to be a drug addict than a plain ol’ drunk driver? When did it become “a better spin” to admit to addiction to pain killers?
Are hippies becoming cool again too? ‘Cuz seriously, I can’t handle all that patchouli.
In the military culture there’s nothing quite as brain-sucking as the “death by PowerPoint” day known as inprocessing, or as the Air Force has chosen to call it, “Right Start.” This is a full day of sitting in the club’s ballroom while a parade of briefers, who may or may not know the material they’re briefing, comes before you and explains in full detail what they do for a living and what to do if you need them. These used to end with, “If you have any further questions, call us at ext: ####.” These days they tend to end with “If you have any further questions, check out our FAQ at www.####.mil.” Some functions don’t even bother coming to fill you in on their function any more; they simply have a sys admin guy come in to tell you where to find their website. This is for our convenience. Okay, this is because they need to cut even more of our folks so the big boys can pay for their new toys. I know the fleet is old. I know some of the bombers are older than I am. But even my Airman Basic has been heard to mutter, “Haven’t they heard of a scheduled refresh?” Indeed. But now I’m way off the point and truly funny stuff is coming.
More »
From Air Force Link:
Chief McKinley selected as 15th CMSAF
Chief Master Sgt. Rodney J. McKinley…has been selected as the 15th chief master of the Air Force by Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. T. Michael Moseley. He will replace Chief Master Sgt. of the Air Force Gerald R. Murray on July 1, following Chief Murray’s retirement June 30. Chief McKinley currently serves as the command chief master sergeant for Pacific Air Forces.
1. Paul gets the “That’s just wrong.” award: “Officials demonstrate a much improved Airman Stacking System (ASS), which allows for better storage and tighter packing of Airmen when they’re not in use, prompting the Air Force Chief of Staff to exclaim, “That’s the best ASS I’ve ever seen! Nice and tight, just the way I like it.””
2. MAJ Loggie gets the “Ain’t that the truth?” award: “Airmen doing pushups? What is the world coming to!!!”
See ya with another round on Friday. I gotta hit the gym.
Winners Monday.
Oh give me a home,
Got that covered. We got into base housing within a week and I still feel icky that I get this many square feet because of my rank and one son while airmen with a pregnant wife have to wait until she actually has the baby to get a decent place to live on base. Off base seems nice but it’s expensive. Something about a jumping mouse living where developers want to build. Sigh.
Where the buffalo roam,
I don’t know about roam, but there’s plenty of buffalo in the meat section of the commisary and at WalMart. Tastes a lot like beef, but buffer.
And the deer and the antelope play,
Haven’t seen any deer myself but the antelope sure are feisty. What’s interesting is when they decide to head straight for the road en masse and don’t look like they’re going to stop. Since they’re protected on base, they have the right of way and I guess it’s your fault if they hit you. The First Sergeant says that he’s never seen that pushed, but for the love of all that’s holy, don’t YOU hit one.
Where never is heard a discouraging word,
Oh give me a freaking break. It’s an Air Force Base for goshsakes!
And the skies are not cloudy all day.
Well not all day. That seems to be true. It may be cloudy one minute and clear the next and then raining like hell in another few minutes and then there was the snow storm earlier in the week that came right after a 75 degree day…but no, not cloudy all day at all.
On an entirely different track and while I’ve still got your attention…it could happen… When did airmen get both so dumb and so smart? Seriously, there are some amazingly smart young folks that I’m meeting, but there are also some incredibly stupid ones wandering around. And what’s all this “Sir.” stuff? When did that become normal? I was only on J-Staff for eight years but there’s an entire generation of young folks, both smart and stupid, calling me “Sir” with a big smile on their faces.
And in the name of Mohammed on a Moped (PBUH) when did Lieutenants get so damn YOUNG? I swear one I talked to today doesn’t have to shave more than twice a week yet.
But I digress. It’s good to be back on the front range of the rockies. Comforting. Amazing skies. Prarie dogs frolicking happily on the road right before a semi flattens them into furry pizzas.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhh Home.
Wow, it was nice to see so many of you stop by and comment, but it really makes it difficult to pick just a couple winners.
My favorites:
1. Sgt Schultz: “Fly, my pretties! Fly, fly!” I’m in the middle of Wicked and that just struck me right.
2. B. Durbin: “Fly! Be free!” I laughed for an hour at that Mork and Mindy episode.
3. Last but not least, the Nostalgic Geek Award goes to Dean with: “Today’s military is much more powerful thanks to Captain America’s Super Soldier Formula!”
We’re moved in, mostly out of boxes, the only casualties being a busted piece off our headboard and an MIA iPod.
A long post is coming once I find some more oxygen, we only changed altitude by about a mile…you’d think I was getting older or something.
It’s moving in day and we’re losing our free wireless and won’t have connectivity again until sometime Monday afternoon when I’ll post the winners. Have a great weekend. Be excellent to one another.
1. Sgt Mom: “Look, it says right here in the second paragraph from the bottom of page 1,542 section 2-A of the instruction manual… insert tab A into slot C…”
…which is just a nicer way of saying:
2. Joe: “Well whaddaya know, you CAN put that part where the sun don’t shine!”
3. Rodney: “Put the manual away a man only needs two tools, WD-40 and Duct Tape. If its supposed to move and doesn’t use the WD-40. If it moves and isn’t supposed to, ya use the duct tape.” …mostly because that’s really the way most any maintenance is done in the Air Force. Feel better?
