Who Are You? What Do You Want? Where Are You Going? Whom Do You Serve – And Whom Do You Trust?!
1. Paul gets the “That’s just wrong.” award: “Officials demonstrate a much improved Airman Stacking System (ASS), which allows for better storage and tighter packing of Airmen when they’re not in use, prompting the Air Force Chief of Staff to exclaim, “That’s the best ASS I’ve ever seen! Nice and tight, just the way I like it.””
2. MAJ Loggie gets the “Ain’t that the truth?” award: “Airmen doing pushups? What is the world coming to!!!”
See ya with another round on Friday. I gotta hit the gym.
Winners Monday.
Wow, it was nice to see so many of you stop by and comment, but it really makes it difficult to pick just a couple winners.
My favorites:
1. Sgt Schultz: “Fly, my pretties! Fly, fly!” I’m in the middle of Wicked and that just struck me right.
2. B. Durbin: “Fly! Be free!” I laughed for an hour at that Mork and Mindy episode.
3. Last but not least, the Nostalgic Geek Award goes to Dean with: “Today’s military is much more powerful thanks to Captain America’s Super Soldier Formula!”
We’re moved in, mostly out of boxes, the only casualties being a busted piece off our headboard and an MIA iPod.
A long post is coming once I find some more oxygen, we only changed altitude by about a mile…you’d think I was getting older or something.
It’s moving in day and we’re losing our free wireless and won’t have connectivity again until sometime Monday afternoon when I’ll post the winners. Have a great weekend. Be excellent to one another.
So, it seems from this article, there is a push to get Americans to behave more… well, to blend in more, when traveling overseas. Sounds like more of the same that the military audience used to get, and no doubt is still getting; speak softly, don’t get into discussing politics, avoid certain places and situations. It was all very good advice, especially since there were places where it might save your life, never mind the social embarassment of being— oh, the horror!— snubbed.
After a couple of years of being lectured about host nation sensitivities, and how to play down your service status and nationality, and all that, some of us used to try and work out the most offensively possible one-liners; a line absolutely guaranteed to get straight to the point of pissing off any member of our various host countries to whom they might be said.
So, without further ado, here are the top three…. More »
Tomorrow is going to be nuts so I thought I’d give you all an extra day rather than skip another week. Winners Monday morning.
Rodney’s got a Caption Jam Linkfest.
OK, here’s one in honor of Hef’s 80th birthday:
She was Playboy magazine’s first cover girl. For this, she made $____ .
No, I can’t say I appreciate modern contemporary art all that much, even though I work in two places that are full of stuffed full of it. Most of it leaves me… ummm, completely under-whelmed. Especially the three panel job in the hallway at the radio station, which looks like the worlds’ most incompetent dry-wall specialist had been allowed to cut loose with a 5-gallon bucket of auto-body filler and a dozen spray cans of silver paint.
Mind you, it is an interesting effect, and it would be very striking as a wall-covering; say, large panels of it interspersed with dark, stark modern Neo-Classical columns, and a plain ceiling and dark marble floor. As a wall-treatment, it might be quite impressive, in such a room as that, but as three large unframed canvasses covered in Bondo and silver paint, hanging in a corridor, it lacks a certain something. Like appeal, to someone who doesn’t have to pretend to see a deep meaning in it. The station had an art benefit auction a while back, of donated objects d’art, and we speculate viciously that the place is decorated in items that didn’t sell and that the artist refused to take back.
My parents had one of those framed oil modernistic things on the dining room wall, for years and years, mostly because it was done in very nice shades of blue (which matched Mom’s décor of the time) and a good friend had given it to them… no, not the artist. It was a bit of set property— the friend worked for one of the Hollywood studios; a lot of times, props were given away to the crews, rather than take up storage space. We were inexpressibly thrilled sometime in the late 1960ies to have spotted this picture, on a repeat of an absolutely ancient Perry Mason show… on the wall of the studio of an artist, supposedly the corpse du jour. It was actually a horrible pastiche, of a moonlight ocean, and some shoreline rocks and pier, with half of it being vaguely Impressionist, and half irresolutely Cubist. Cruelly, Mom and Dad used it to gage the artistic judgment and flattery-administering capabilities of anyone who remarked on it. Anyone lavishing compliments was instantly condemned — married couples have such a way of exchanging knowing glances. Another person, who would become a very dear friend, earned credit immeasurable from Mom and Dad, for finally asking if he couldn’t sit on the other side of the dining room table, just so he wouldn’t have to look at the horrible thing.
No, modern art doesn’t grab me at all, and if it tried, I’d slap it’s face and prefer charges of ungentlemanly behavior. The stuff that gets written up, and displayed everywhere just looks more and more like an over-the-top joke. It’s as if they are trying to top each other, on what they can get the so-called aficionados to swallow and come back for more, and somehow missing the whole point of art. That is, it should fill up a blank space of wall, intrigue or interest your friends and neighbors, and be something that you yourself can stand to look at every morning for a couple of decades. Or even, look at every morning for a couple of decades with a hangover. (Or make your dinner guests look at it, over the course of a fine meal.) Bonus, if the colors in it match something else in the room. Oh, and if possible, it should be something that appeals to you, and to you personally. Frankly, the average Jackson Pollock makes me think of nothing so much as the unspeakably disgusting sidewalk underneath trees where grackles have been roosting.
Say, that’s an idea!! I could get a grant from the NEA, and park huge canvases under the trees, and feed the flock something different every night that would turn their poop different colors! At the end of the week… it wouldn’t be enormous canvases covered with multicolored grackle poop, it would be Art with a capital “A”! Hey, if half a cow in formaldehyde can wow the art world, this has a better than even chance, especially if I can wrap it in layers and layers of vaguely progressive explanations, and slip in a couple of stiletto-slices at the bourgeoisie.
It is to giggle at, though, that the bourgeoisie— well, that part of it who has money to spend on art that they like and are past being dragooned into subsidizing something that they really don’t care for at all—- are buying Thomas Kinkade The Painter ™ of Light.
I don’t know if acres of cozy ginger-bready cottages sagging under the weight of sun-set colored icing are much of an artistic improvement over half a dead cow, or a an acre of multicolored paint splatters, but it must be easier to contemplate over a meal, unless you are diabetic. And at least, Kinkade has made a bundle selling what people actually, you know, really want… not begging for grants and sucking up to people with more money than confidence in their own taste, just to stick us all wish something that we don’t really care for. I predict that he will be this era’s version of a Rogers’s group; enormously popular, than drop out of fashion as something embarrassing and old-fashioned (you’ll be able to buy prints at yard sales for nickels) and then there will be a revival of interest in about 100 years.
They’ll last longer than grackle poop, anyway.
This recurring co-star on King of the Hill also co-starred in this film, with Pat Boone and Ann-Margret.
Extra Credit: Before assuming the “signature role” for which we know him/her today, what character was our star famous for?
Hint: As reader Bill correctly guessed, it isn’t Willie Nelson. Nor is it Ann Richards, or even Chuck Mangione. But our star is, by far, the biggest ever on KotH.
Congratz! to reader Bill!
I would have thought that, after our own dear Mary (A Proud Veteran) got the REALLY obscure 1962 José Ferrer remake of the 1945 Walter Lang classic, the rest would be a cinch. But I guess not…
Well, unlike the original, which, like the 1932 Philip Duffield Stong book upon which it was based, is set in Iowa, the 1962 remake is set in Texas. Hummmm… “Texas State Fair”… Does that ring some bells? What is the first thing one sees upon entering the Texas State Fair?
Still blank? Well, of course, it’s Big Tex!
As for the “Extra Credit” part, I didn’t even know it myself, until I uncovered the reference above. But it seems, in a former life, Big Tex was Santa Claus!
Extra-Extra Credit! (After admonishing me that Big Tex isn’t the VERY first thing one sees upon entering) Reader homebru asks, what other major motion picture features the Texas State Fair?
Extra-Extra Credit Answer: I guessed it! *happy dance* (see comments)
Rodney Dill: “Man I thought my recruiter said a military career would leave me rolling in dough.”
Punny, very punny.
Suck up Chicago reference goes to Andrew V. for: “It looks like Mrs. Fields is doing her part for the war effort.”
Twist on an old joke goes to Chuck: “Join the Air Force. Travel the world. Meet interesting people. And … bake for them???”
Might see you on Friday, my life is going to be all about moving for the next two weeks.
I haven’t done any soap opera trivia yet, so here’s a two-parter for you soap fans:
First, what was the tie-in between Dallas and Knots Landing? And second, what was Dallas’ incest angle?
The Answer! Well, perhaps it’s a tribute to the intelligence of our readers (or a condemnation of mine), but it seems we have NO soap fans here. Anyway, if there was any interest in this question at all, I might do some research, and make sure I have the exact seasons. But, as it stands, I’ll just go on memory, and we can inter this matter in the shallow grave where it belongs:
In Dallas, season 2, we were introduced to Jock Ewing’s “other” son, “Gary”, who happened to be the hitherto mysterious father of niece “Lucy”, who had been living at the Southfork Ranch from episode 1. Gary married “Val”, and moved to Knots Landing AKA “The Cul-de-Sac”, a hard-against-the-coast suburban community of Los Angeles – most likely in Rancho Pales Verdes, Pacific Palisades, or Malibu, and flagrant decadence ensues. (Sound familiar, Desperate Housewives fans?)
Well anyway, in Dallas season 1, Lucy had an affair with senior ranch hand, “Ray Krebbs”. But, around about season eight, we learned that Ray was actually Jock’s bastard son, a half-brother to J.R., Bobby and Gary.
However, it is popularly believed that this was just a matter of the writers losing track of the story arc. Either that, or they drew back, in response to popular revulsion. In any event, the incest angle between Lucy and Ray was never dealt with
Update: “With some embarrassment,” reader Quintus informs us that it was actually season four when it was revealed that Ray was Jock’s son (see comments).
This was difficult since there were so many good inputs this week.
1. Yeff: “Torch Songs and Drag Queens: An Evening with Tops in Blue.” Mostly because I had a roommate who “came home” from Tops In Blue and DAMN, he didn’t have to tell, ya know?
2. Our very own Kevin with: “Gawd, I hope my friends back home don’t see this!” I wonder if making it to the Caption Contest is an additional penalty to the donut offense of having your picture in the paper?
3. Adjustah: The secret life of Wayne Brady…
See ya Friday.
Winners on Monday.
More Caption Blogginess.
Ok, I’m sort of dredging the bottom here. And, if you read the same car-zines I do, you will have the answer at your fingertips. But, after the last few day’s ordeal, I’m not up to any intellectual rigor, and I’m in the mood for bettin’ on the Longshot. So, here goes:
How many “Bond” DB5’s were there, what are their serial numbers, and what is the believed disposition of each?
Pretty good for coasting, ‘eh?
Oh, and use of search engines is totally OK here. But please give credit where credit is due. 🙂
Congratz! to reader Andrew V. (see comments)
Adjustah: “No, Chief, actually I’ve never been deep sea fishing before. Why do you ask?”
Come back Friday for more caption silliness.
Like a lot of people in Hollywood, this writer/producer/director owes his career to Steven Spielberg. But after this small-budget flop, and this big-budget flop, when he and his partner penned this necessarily big-budget film (although it only required two-thirds the budget of the second), he couldn’t go back to Spielberg looking for that kind of money. So they did this small-budget film, which turned out to be moderately successful (and considered one of the best of its rather low-brow genre). Then, that third film turned out to be one of Hollywood’s biggest blockbusters, grossing over $200M (almost $400M worldwide), and spawning two sequels.
BTW: That second film actually made a tidy profit worldwide. But, as I have explained before, a film is expected to at least cover its budget domestically.
Hint #1: (actually, more of a clarification) Spielberg is credited in all four movies. By my use of the term, “penned”, we know the anonymous partner is another writer. Not mentioned, but implied, is the fact that he/she is also credited in all four movies.
Congratz! to reader MakeMineRed, who had a couple of mis-ques, but stuck with it, and worked it out. (see comments)
Time Tag jiggered
Winners on Monday.
Other Bloggy Caption Fun:
OTB.
Wizbang.
The Gone Rick Motel.
GOP And College is doing a dual caption/photoshop contest.
This war movie was the first “above the title” credit for this drama superstar, and the “introducing” credit for this comedy superstar, who has had these four television series’ named after him.
Congratz! to readers Doc and Andrew V., who share credit for this one. (See comments)
1st. James Agenbroad: SSGT Jones demonstrates the propper application of the missile condom on the MIM 69 Bigboy missile.
2d. charles austin: “It’s twoo, it’s twoo!”
Honorable Mention. Maggie: “Stand still, Senator Kerry, I’ve got just a little bit more to pull down around you and then the press will never get the photo of you. ”
See ya Friday.
Correlate these two people: Chet Atkins and Benny Hill.
Hint #1: I would have thought our own dear Timmer would have gotten this right out of the gate. Particularly as he has previously stated that Kneck and Kneck (sic) was one of his favorite albums.
Time stamp jiggered
Congratz to reader Doc! (see comments)
OK, this should be an easy one for any of you willing to admit to occasionally liking to dress up in pointy ears or a funny forehead:
By far, the record for performing the most guest roles in the Star Trek franchise, is held by this actor.
But tell us, Andrew V.: what sort of Trekkie garb do you have stuck in the back of your closet? 😉
A Qualified Congratz to reader Andrew V. (see comments).
This is inspired by Sgt. Mom’s Borderline Radio post.
I was originally going to ask the call sign of Wolfman Jack’s radio station from American Graffiti. But that alone would be too easy. So, in American Graffiti, George Lucas portrayed Wolfman Jack’s studio as just on the outskirts of Modesto, CA. Name the famous legislation which made this an impossibility (as well as said call sign).
The Answer! I knew this was too easy. Reader M. Thompson has it down (see comments).
Well, I had another one lined up for today. But this, from Puzzleblogger Kevan Choset, at Volokh, was so good, I had to share it here.
An easy one. What do these actors have in common?
Warren Beatty
Kevin Costner
Clint Eastwood
Mel Gibson
Robert Redford
I have some guesses. But I’m staying mute – both here and there. Hint: based upon Choset’s history as Puzzleblogger: the correct answer likely has more to do with some mathematical or heuristic relationship of the names themselves, than a finer point of cinematic history.
Congratz to reader Andrew V., who got the final two actors who’ve won Best Director Oscars.
However, this is the last time I steal a trivia question from another blogger:
Is that it, Kevan – 5 actors who have won directing Oscars?
If so, I am gonna’ be sooooo mad. Easy is right: too frickin’ easy! I’ve been racking my brain this week, trying to find some mathematical or heuristic relationship between the actors’ names, birthdates, etc..
[note: time stamp jiggered]
Rodney Dill: “The new team is ready to go hunting with you now Mr. Vice President.”
With only three entries, Rodney is the sole winner this week.
Better luck for more input on Friday.